(no subject)
How is it that I've become too apathetic to eat?
I eat once a day during my lunch break at work.
I eat at the same restaurant everyday.
I alternate between the same two meals.
They know my name. They've begun giving me a discount.
They know my fucking name.
I've stopped grocery shopping.
I havent gone in 3 weeks.
Ten minutes ago, I microwaved a morningstar burger and a slice of cheese.
As I searched for bread to put my sandwich on, it occurred to me that:
a)If I hadnt been grocery shopping in three weeks, there is a good chance that my bread is moldy
b)If my bread is not moldy by now, is it really something I'd like to eat?
c)The bread is not moldy. Why look a gift horse in the mouth?
So I ate it, regardless.
Recently, I ran into my ex-boyfriend's best friend in a bar.
I didn't recognize him.
While I was having a conversation with a mutual friend he interrupted us.
He said I was eyeball fucking him.
He is not my eyeball fucking type.
He said it would be funny if my ex was there.
I asked him why.
He said "I dont know, it just would be."
Days later I emailed my ex.
I told him the story.
He asked why it was funny.
We talked about what we'd been doing.
On the drive home from work later that day I realized why I had stopped speaking to him to begin with.
#1 - He broke up with me and then brought his new girlfriend to my house a week later to hang out with my roommates (our mutual friends).
#2 - He stood me up on my birthday. At 4pm.
#3 - He fucked my best friend. Twice. And then went on dates with her afterward while she & I were living together.
What an asshole.
Next week I am putting in a request for an internal transfer at work.
The new position is a promotion and I'll have to interview with seven different people.
I can't help but think that something will go terribly wrong.
Not even necessarily that I wont get it,
but perhaps that I WILL get it, but only on the condition of
moving to Ohio or somewhere equally as terrible and land-locked.
Or that perhaps I wont get it and my current managers will treat me like a total traitor
and my fellow employees will consider me a failure at life.
Hello irrational fear..
Hello anxiety.
One of my favorite things to do when I'm stressed is take a hot bath.
Unfortunately, my water only runs hot for 7 minutes.
This is not enough time to fill up a bath tub.
Or to rinse the conditioner out of your hair, incidentally.
Tonight I attempt to resolve this problem.
I filled the tub up an hour ago.
Now I will turn the water on as hot as it will get and
perhaps it will heat the water in the tub.
I may be a genius.
or ridiculously desperate.
I eat once a day during my lunch break at work.
I eat at the same restaurant everyday.
I alternate between the same two meals.
They know my name. They've begun giving me a discount.
They know my fucking name.
I've stopped grocery shopping.
I havent gone in 3 weeks.
Ten minutes ago, I microwaved a morningstar burger and a slice of cheese.
As I searched for bread to put my sandwich on, it occurred to me that:
a)If I hadnt been grocery shopping in three weeks, there is a good chance that my bread is moldy
b)If my bread is not moldy by now, is it really something I'd like to eat?
c)The bread is not moldy. Why look a gift horse in the mouth?
So I ate it, regardless.
Recently, I ran into my ex-boyfriend's best friend in a bar.
I didn't recognize him.
While I was having a conversation with a mutual friend he interrupted us.
He said I was eyeball fucking him.
He is not my eyeball fucking type.
He said it would be funny if my ex was there.
I asked him why.
He said "I dont know, it just would be."
Days later I emailed my ex.
I told him the story.
He asked why it was funny.
We talked about what we'd been doing.
On the drive home from work later that day I realized why I had stopped speaking to him to begin with.
#1 - He broke up with me and then brought his new girlfriend to my house a week later to hang out with my roommates (our mutual friends).
#2 - He stood me up on my birthday. At 4pm.
#3 - He fucked my best friend. Twice. And then went on dates with her afterward while she & I were living together.
What an asshole.
Next week I am putting in a request for an internal transfer at work.
The new position is a promotion and I'll have to interview with seven different people.
I can't help but think that something will go terribly wrong.
Not even necessarily that I wont get it,
but perhaps that I WILL get it, but only on the condition of
moving to Ohio or somewhere equally as terrible and land-locked.
Or that perhaps I wont get it and my current managers will treat me like a total traitor
and my fellow employees will consider me a failure at life.
Hello irrational fear..
Hello anxiety.
One of my favorite things to do when I'm stressed is take a hot bath.
Unfortunately, my water only runs hot for 7 minutes.
This is not enough time to fill up a bath tub.
Or to rinse the conditioner out of your hair, incidentally.
Tonight I attempt to resolve this problem.
I filled the tub up an hour ago.
Now I will turn the water on as hot as it will get and
perhaps it will heat the water in the tub.
I may be a genius.
or ridiculously desperate.