(no subject)
you hurt me.
maybe i've never said it before out loud and that's why it feels so good to say it so i'll say it i'll say it i'll say it i'll say it again and again and you hurt me, you motherfucker, you didn't break my heart and even though i was stupid enough to give it to you that's not what you broke when you broke me, and for once i don't care what this sounds like to you and i'd say it to your face if i could stand to see you and if i ever see you again maybe i'll do it, maybe i'll run up to you and pound on your chest with my fists and scream in your face until i'm red and burning and my throat is dry and burning and i'm crying so you can see what i looked like after you were done with me, and i'll scream everything i never knew i wanted to say to you and everything i never wanted you to hear and everything i told myself to keep quiet, to keep under my belt so i could avoid yours, and maybe i'll do it, maybe i'll look at you and look you square in the eye and put my hands on the sides of your face and make you look at me just like you never thought you'd have to, make you see me like you never thought you'd have to, make you hear me like you never thought you'd have to listen to me tell you that you hurt me so bad, so bad so bad so bad and now i look at pictures and all i feel is bruises, all i feel is numb and this splintering pain that you'd never understand because you're so much fucking better than everything you've kicked down and stepped over and walked through and trampled and what the fuck did it even mean when you said you were leaving me and cried like you got the short end of the stick you motherfucking bastard, you don't know what it's like to have scars like this that burn and burn and burn every time i see you in a picture with my friends, they were my friends that you took and now i have to wonder what you tell them, your sick and twisted version of the truth where everything you did was out of pity, and oh that poor boy i wish things could have worked out and i hope he finds himself soon, and maybe someday i'll tell you that i did find myself, i did and when i found myself i was really. really. hurt.
and you hurt me.
fuck.
you.
maybe i've never said it before out loud and that's why it feels so good to say it so i'll say it i'll say it i'll say it i'll say it again and again and you hurt me, you motherfucker, you didn't break my heart and even though i was stupid enough to give it to you that's not what you broke when you broke me, and for once i don't care what this sounds like to you and i'd say it to your face if i could stand to see you and if i ever see you again maybe i'll do it, maybe i'll run up to you and pound on your chest with my fists and scream in your face until i'm red and burning and my throat is dry and burning and i'm crying so you can see what i looked like after you were done with me, and i'll scream everything i never knew i wanted to say to you and everything i never wanted you to hear and everything i told myself to keep quiet, to keep under my belt so i could avoid yours, and maybe i'll do it, maybe i'll look at you and look you square in the eye and put my hands on the sides of your face and make you look at me just like you never thought you'd have to, make you see me like you never thought you'd have to, make you hear me like you never thought you'd have to listen to me tell you that you hurt me so bad, so bad so bad so bad and now i look at pictures and all i feel is bruises, all i feel is numb and this splintering pain that you'd never understand because you're so much fucking better than everything you've kicked down and stepped over and walked through and trampled and what the fuck did it even mean when you said you were leaving me and cried like you got the short end of the stick you motherfucking bastard, you don't know what it's like to have scars like this that burn and burn and burn every time i see you in a picture with my friends, they were my friends that you took and now i have to wonder what you tell them, your sick and twisted version of the truth where everything you did was out of pity, and oh that poor boy i wish things could have worked out and i hope he finds himself soon, and maybe someday i'll tell you that i did find myself, i did and when i found myself i was really. really. hurt.
and you hurt me.
fuck.
you.