(no subject)
So, Chicaog might happen in September.
I randomly recieved an e-mail yesterday that gave me hope once again. It's going to be really hard to get my portfolio together in such short notice, but it's well worth it I think.
I think I really hurt one of my best friends' feelings tonight, and I'm feeling pretty down about it.
A lot of strange things have been happening lately.
I've been bumping into people (one person specifically) I've been avoiding. It's a strange, strange feeling and it's happened so often recently that I'm sort of starting to get used to feeling this uncomfortable. I'm not liking it. I guess I'm more curious to see what this whole thing is about. I'd like to see what will happen in the next couple months when things completely change.
Things have been good and bad lately. I've been feeling either really great or really terrible. Tonight, I'm feeling pretty terrible. As corny as it may sound, I've always wanted to find someone whom I bond with. I'm constantly complaining about being alone, but I keep finding myself drawing back from situations like that. It's commitment. I don't want it, but I need it. I want to have that connection, but I can't even be honest with myself. If there isn't honesty in a relationship, the 'bond' is nonexistant. Then there's always confidence, too. Without the confidence, you're only going to feel uncomfortable and uneasy and that holds you back. That holds ME back from getting close to anybody. Whether it be a real relationship, or just a simple friendship. I'm afraid of commiting to people and being completely honest about a lot of things.
This all came about because I take things 'too seriously' and get 'too caught up' in things--I can tell that I'm going back to what it used to be like, and maybe that's a good thing now.
The bad thing is, I know I'm looking for my next victim.
I highly doubt anybody understood any of this.
I randomly recieved an e-mail yesterday that gave me hope once again. It's going to be really hard to get my portfolio together in such short notice, but it's well worth it I think.
I think I really hurt one of my best friends' feelings tonight, and I'm feeling pretty down about it.
A lot of strange things have been happening lately.
I've been bumping into people (one person specifically) I've been avoiding. It's a strange, strange feeling and it's happened so often recently that I'm sort of starting to get used to feeling this uncomfortable. I'm not liking it. I guess I'm more curious to see what this whole thing is about. I'd like to see what will happen in the next couple months when things completely change.
Things have been good and bad lately. I've been feeling either really great or really terrible. Tonight, I'm feeling pretty terrible. As corny as it may sound, I've always wanted to find someone whom I bond with. I'm constantly complaining about being alone, but I keep finding myself drawing back from situations like that. It's commitment. I don't want it, but I need it. I want to have that connection, but I can't even be honest with myself. If there isn't honesty in a relationship, the 'bond' is nonexistant. Then there's always confidence, too. Without the confidence, you're only going to feel uncomfortable and uneasy and that holds you back. That holds ME back from getting close to anybody. Whether it be a real relationship, or just a simple friendship. I'm afraid of commiting to people and being completely honest about a lot of things.
This all came about because I take things 'too seriously' and get 'too caught up' in things--I can tell that I'm going back to what it used to be like, and maybe that's a good thing now.
The bad thing is, I know I'm looking for my next victim.
I highly doubt anybody understood any of this.