(no subject)

[offwiththrheads]

im at my sisters cool huh? yeah well...i dont know if the parental unit still has a dick up his ass or what. he doesnt talk to me anymore. he hasnt said one fucking owrd to me. its better that way anyway. he should keep it like that. haha. seriously though. joshua is sleeping in his little swing listening to lullabuies. he's so beautiful. especually when he smiles. i love when he smiles. i love him so much.if theres any reason why im not somewhere millions of miles away then its him. he gives me something to look foward to everyday. and i dont wanna turn my back on him too. like ive done everything else. he doesnt deserve that. this family has had too much of that. too many people turning their backs on eachother. and its not fair to him. its not fair to anyone. we always ask outrselves why does ithave to be this way? but what can you really do about it? you can ignore it. you can pretend its not there. make the best of it in any way possible. think about the better things.

i think im going back to school. ive been talking about it yo my mother and she's thinking about it. beacuse dr. satan said that i need friends and to communicate with people outside of my house. psha. haha. yeh. i dont know. im just sick of doing the same thing everyday, im so young but i feel so fucking old and im so fucking sick and tired of it.

i cant think anymore