I need something that is going to keep me off my fucking face all weekend. You got anything like that on you tonight?

Carly is staying with us for a few days because her father is a rampaging psychopath.

Also, Leon, I hope you didn't need the van this morning because we've taken it to get the rest of her stuff.

She's fine, just no one bully her into trying to talk. She doesn't do the touchy feely stuff.

Just bought myself a motorbike.

I was making a chilli sandwich when my brother ran into the room with a manic expression on his face, took a photo of me, then ran away again, laughing like a twat.

Leon, what?

( kick and snares )

First things first, stay calm (this means you, Leon ( Read more... )

There's only two occasions in which the phrase 'stress-induced self-flagellation. In the mud' can be uttered and one of them emerges from the fucking awesome world of science and the other one you'll all be googling later, you sick fucks.

It morphs, it breaststrokes, and it'll get the Blob theme running round in your head. Beware of the blob it ( Read more... )

I don't like forgetting, there's something wrong about it, something creepy. That things can happen to us and somewhere along the lines we forget, completely. I always forget what the Beatles mean till I listen to them, really listen, and then it's like... oh. yeah. of course ( Read more... )

I have no idea how to get back to my bedroom from where I am now. I've never felt this when sober before ( Read more... )