(Untitled)

[off_the_hookah]

Who: Neil McLaughlin (the Caterpillar); Elisa Miller
When: Friday, February 15 - Late afternoon
Where: Elisa's car, on I-190 to Niagra
What: Neil and Elisa clear the air
Rated: R for language and adult situations

Comments

[fairestone]

"Well.. it would be worse for other people if I didn't feel remorse. Those sorts of people don't know what it's like.. even if they usually end up in the electric chair or whatever.." she answered, nodding her head. "Yeah, non-Tale. They said it might help. You know? I'm not positive but I think once I saw Freud.." then she trailed off and finally shrugged a little. She shut up then, and listened to him.

She did want to tell him that he wouldn't be alone, that she'd be there. But she didn't think he'd want to hear that. Especially when she'd broken his trust and everything else. Slowly she nodded her head, "Maybe, I don't really know any more then you do. But I don't know about the future, this is only my second time making it paste the age of 20. I just.. the last time? Before this one? All these changes I tried to make? I was a better person then, I know.. and yet.. I'm still back here. The same as ever. What's even the use in trying if you're doomed to repeat everything over and over again without a way out?"

That's when she got up and threw her trash away, "I'll be right back.." she put her drink down on the table and went to the bathroom so she could go cry or something.

[off_the_hookah]

"I'll be outside," Neil told her as they separated. Once on the other side of the doors, he lit up a cigarette and started smoking, considering what had been said. He wondered if speaking to a Tale therapist, like Anne, would help Elisa. Hell, there were times when he considered seeing her, himself. Elisa mentioned she was tired, maybe he would suggest taking a little nap in the car before heading out again. He'd offer to drive, but it was risky, what with him not having a driver's license. Once they were at the hotel it would be better. They could stretch out on the bed, maybe sit in a jacuzzi, make an appointment to get a massage in the morning...

What's taking Elisa so long in that bathroom?

Finishing up his cigarette, he peered through the glass pane of the door toward the direction of the bathrooms, but saw no sign of Elisa. Frowning, he went inside, and after a quick scan of the place to make sure she wasn't somewhere else, he walked over and slowly peeked through the door of the lady's room.

[fairestone]

Inside the bathroom she kept it together for a couple of moments before there were tears coming down her face. She hated crying, but she didn't think she could stop. For a while she was alone inside the bathroom, but hearing footsteps, she went into one of the stalls though she just stood there. People came and went out of the bathroom, and she decided to stay in there, at least until she got herself together.

By the time he came to look for her, she was still inside, though her crying seemed to be lessened, at least somewhat. She hadn't even realized she had been gone that long. He could no doubt hear her crying, if not spotting her shoes under the stall. Everything seemed to be actually okay in her life and then she went and wrecked it all, just like every other time.

[off_the_hookah]

The loo seemed empty, and Neil was about to leave, when the soft sobbing of a woman attracted her attention. He crossed the tiled room, past each of the stalls, until he reached the last one: the crying sounded like it was coming from in there. A quick check under the door and Neil identified her shoes. Sighing, he ran his fingers though his graying hair, his shoulders sagged. She needed somebody to be strong for her, he couldn't fret about his own problems.

Rapping lightly upon the metal door, Neil spoke with patient tenderness. "Elisa. Please open the door."

[fairestone]

Elisa jumped nearly a mile when he came up to the stall, since she hadn't been paying attention much at all, figuring it was just another person going to the bathroom. "What? I.." she started to wipe at her face, taking a deep breath. "What are you doing in here? I'm fine.. I just.. I.." she knew better then to think he'd just go away.

Slowly she opened up the door. Her face was red and her make up was smeared and running, "Sorry.. I didn't.. time got away from me I guess."

[off_the_hookah]

One look was all he needed, Neil didn't have to ask or even say a word. His face was expressionless, reflecting how numb he felt on the inside.

Grimacing a little, Neil took a step inside the stall to come closer to Elisa. He raised his arms and pulled her into a loose embrace, pressing her up against his chest. There he stood holding her, not giving a damn if any body came in and saw them or not. Before, he tried to console her with words but that didn't seem to help, so he thought this time he'd reassure her in a different way.

And he would hold her for as long as she needed.

[fairestone]

She really really didn't deserve him, especially since he was being nice when there was no real reason to be. Not to her. But she didn't resist when he put his arms around her. With her head down against his chest, she tried very hard not to start cry again and to calm herself down. She mumbled a bunch of sorries as she took a deep breath.

After a moment she pulled back and wiped at her eyes again, "Let's just go.." she muttered.

[off_the_hookah]

Actually, it surprised Neil that she didn't start weeping, which was what he expected. Then again, he always knew Elisa as being very strong.

"Are you alright to drive?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "We can rest a while, if you need to."

[fairestone]

To be honest, she wasn't quite sure but well, "If we don't go now we're not going to make it there before dark.." she said earnestly. With a couple more deep breaths, she seemed to stop crying all together.

"Let me just wash my face and I'll be out in a moment, I promise. No losing track of time.." she rubbed at the back of her neck slightly.

[off_the_hookah]

"You wash up," Neil said, stepping back out of the stall to let her out before he eased back inside. "I need to tinkle."

Giving her a faint smile, he closed the stall door and proceeded to do his business. The fact this was a woman's bathroom didn't bother him at all. The main thing he was concerned for was Elisa.

After finishing up, he came out and washed his hands in the sink beside the one Elisa was using. While he was in the stall, he had been thinking. Looking up at the mirror and seeing her reflection, he said. "We should let the others on the compendium know what was done. I won't mention your name, but I think they have the right to know." Neil furrowed his brow. "If Jacob asks you to do this again, let me know."

[fairestone]

While he went to the bathroom, she washed her face, taking all of her make up off the rest of the way so she didn't look like a raccoon. She was patting her face dry when he brought up Jacob. "Jacob?" she blinked for a moment. Oh god.

"It.. it wasn't Jacob," she told him. After all she told Sebastian she wasn't going to lie to him. "Like he'd ever come to me for anything.. no it was.." she stopped and looked over at him. "It was Sebastian."

[off_the_hookah]

"Sebastian?" Neil turned to look directly at Elisa as if he couldn't believe his ears. "Sebastian?" he repeated to confirm.

Fuck. Neil didn't say it, but he thought it. Fuck, fuck, fuck. It made a lot more sense now. It was Sebastian, not Jacob. He'd been wrong; jumped to conclusions. He put up the photo piece as revenge, when it was completely unwarranted, and all the negative responses he got for posting it began to swell from the pit of his stomach where they had settled like bile, returning to haunt him.

Neil's countenance darkened, his frown deepened as he was filled with self-loathing and guilt.

"Get in the car," he said, curtly, turning on his heel and leaving the bathroom without waiting for Elisa. He stormed out the building, pausing only to light another cigarette before continuing to the car. Once there, he realized it was locked and had to wait for Elisa to open it for her, so he waited and smoked, cursing himself for how fucking stupid he was.

[fairestone]

Slowly she nodded her head, as if to repeat herself. And he was obviously upset about it. Elisa knew that they hated each other, she didn't even know the thing about Sebastian until he had told her well after the fact. If Jacob had come to her, she would have told him to go fuck himself.

She followed him out to the car without a word, unlocking it and then getting inside. Well this was just.. fun. She had half a mind to just turn around and go home. "Are you.. sure you want to do this? We could just go back home.." she started up the car, prepared really for either way.

[off_the_hookah]

Good question, Neil thought. The stubborn part of Neil's personality wanted to push on and go on the fucking vacation in spite of everything and have a good time, god damn it! But deep inside, he imagined they'd only be wasting good money on being miserable in one another's company. The bad luck from the fucking cake must still be affecting them.

Sitting low in the seat of the car, smoking like a fiend, Neil turned their options in his head, not answering straight away. Finally, his mind was made up.

"Go home," he muttered, not looking at her.

[fairestone]

Not answering, she started out of the parking lot and back towards home. At least they hadn't gotten too far before they realized that this wasn't going to work. She didn't bother with the radio, she just kept driving, not sure what she should say, so she didn't say anything.

[off_the_hookah]

Neil considered pulling out his compendium right then and there to write something down, but couldn't bring himself to do it. His pride was completely crushed, publicly admitting he was wrong would kill him, so he thought. Besides that, would Sebastian hurt Elisa if he found out that she had revealed his secret? Would Jacob as Head Librarian even give a shit, after everything he'd said and done? Damn it, the whole Atheneum was against him, so it seemed.

Everything felt so overwhelming that Neil could barely keep it in. Covering his face with his hand, he struggled to keep from bursting out with emotion.