jingle jangle

May 17, 2009 23:58

When I was younger, I owned about twenty keychains.  Anywhere I would visit, I would ask my parents to purchase a keychain for me.  I had a keychain to hold onto my keychains, and even now, I keep finding them from my childhood.  My parents were too overprotective to let me be a latchkey kid early on in life, so all I had to put on them were locks to diaries or little treasure chests I would be given, nothing substantial.

My keychain now isn't designed for fashion, but for comfort.  A lanyard, a silly Lego man, a rape whistle, keys to my house, the bookstore, a car, the mailbox, my trunk, the gate opener.  I have real things to put on them, and I don't need to overwhelm it with a trinket from Cape Cod.  I need these things, otherwise I cannot go about my day.

I'm real, you know?  I'm not a hodgepodge of clothes and trinkets, I'm doing something.  I'm operating.  It's taking me a while to realize it.  Real people can do real things, have real aspirations, goals, live in real places, have real lives with others, have real concerns.  They don't live in their heads, they have dreams which they try to make a reality.  I'm like the Velveteen Rabbit, with all my fur loved off, just waiting to complete the transformation, but so afraid of it, which is why I'm inching along, unwilling to face the facts.

Let's go!
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