(no subject)

[odiumreligio]

wide eyed at 1:36am. you've become my everything and i signed up for that. and i think i love all of it. i think it's just this stuffy, dusty apartment, where the toothless lady yells at you about groceries every time you go shopping too late. i think it's just the drama, and the nature of everyone and everything around me. i think it's my body and my mind's overwhelming desire to never stop fucking running ever. but now every time i do, all i do is miss you. and fuck, if i ever doubt anything ever, that's the only answer i need. i don't miss people. i don't miss home. but i miss the fuck out of you, all the time. i'm a mental wreck, there's not even an ounce of logic or order to these sentences. i don't know how to show that i'm really happy, almost ever. and i feel so bad about that. i don't want to be paranoid. i know you're more than true to me. i've just had my back stabbed too deeply. there's some nerve damage that just doesn't seem to go away. you feel it in your fingertips and it never leaves. but you're sleeping right here next to me as i write this. and i'm in, on a saturday night, typing away at this burning white screen. right where i was eight years ago. always. but i'm not alone now. and somehow, i always knew that would make it okay.

let's run away from this stuffy fucking room into our new, beautiful house, and all this stupid tension. and let's run away from this state, this country, this life. for a minute. together. because i can't ever stop running. but i can run right next to you. and home is wherever our hands clasp.

okay? thank you for being the only person who has ever been right.