(no subject)
So recently ive been pretty down in the dumps.
Like way down in the dumps, not just a few bad days. I went to the eastside to hang with some friends. Just seeing everyone change, not for the better, and seeing some people not change is really depressing.
Ive find my self being overcome by the cornyness of everything around me, as well as myself. I felt my hope for humanity slip.
oh yea, and to boot: So a few nights a go i jokingly told lauren aker, the girl with the boyfriend i almost dated last december, that i was gonna have a beer and go drive drunk. It was a bad joke and i dont know why i said it but i think she took it as i was fishing for sympathy. So grant asks me if i want to go over to there apartment because theyre having a "party". We get over there and its ashley barna her gay friend, like actually gay, amanda, her mentally disabled boyfriend, and his good ol' boy pal whos name i cant remeber. They said that lauren was going to be there in 45 min while we were hanging out. I first thought i should leave, then i thought, na thats lame, it will only make things weird if i start avoiding her. So time goes by, we have some good conversations about doomsday theories and junk and then grant leaves. Half hour later i decide to leave. As i close the door i hear one of them say, where's lauren at? And ashley says, shes out side. Im sure im lame and over analysing this but if she is seriously sitting in her car waiting for me to leave her apt. then im going to die. Its like a bad seinfeld episode.
So i start thinking of ways to get my self out of this slump. For some reason i had never thought to really pray about it. Like hardcore praying, i had always mentioned in my nightly prayers, help me over come this father, etc. So before bed i devote all my prayers to thanking god for everything i have, and apologizing for never really being grateful for it. And then i start to ask for his forgivness and ask for his help overcoming my depression. Next thing you know i realize that i have just become so pessemistic its sickening.
So. Im working on that. Time to force my self to cheer up and quit being such a grumpy gills.
So i went to the church i was babtised in today. Absolutly loved it. Im going to be going back next sunday. I felt so comfortable, i felt like i could talk to the people around me. I didnt get a strong message from the sermon but while the preacher was preaching i would zone out into prayerfull meditation and i would come in and out at parts that were relative to my prayers and thoughts. It was really a wonderfull experience. I cant wait to go back and get involved in it.
Other than that, my shampoo has moved to california. I really cant believe it. I didnt even get to see her before she left. She wont be back to indy until sept. It sucks something awful. She just started talking about thinking about moving to california. Less than a month later she was already there. Im pretty bummed about it. But im happy for her, and i hope her and dave are really happy.
Ive got some more stuff but ill have to update that later, im pretty tired and need a nap. But im getting the house hopefully. We'll be in a new place by the end of the mont regaurdless.
Toodles.
Like way down in the dumps, not just a few bad days. I went to the eastside to hang with some friends. Just seeing everyone change, not for the better, and seeing some people not change is really depressing.
Ive find my self being overcome by the cornyness of everything around me, as well as myself. I felt my hope for humanity slip.
oh yea, and to boot: So a few nights a go i jokingly told lauren aker, the girl with the boyfriend i almost dated last december, that i was gonna have a beer and go drive drunk. It was a bad joke and i dont know why i said it but i think she took it as i was fishing for sympathy. So grant asks me if i want to go over to there apartment because theyre having a "party". We get over there and its ashley barna her gay friend, like actually gay, amanda, her mentally disabled boyfriend, and his good ol' boy pal whos name i cant remeber. They said that lauren was going to be there in 45 min while we were hanging out. I first thought i should leave, then i thought, na thats lame, it will only make things weird if i start avoiding her. So time goes by, we have some good conversations about doomsday theories and junk and then grant leaves. Half hour later i decide to leave. As i close the door i hear one of them say, where's lauren at? And ashley says, shes out side. Im sure im lame and over analysing this but if she is seriously sitting in her car waiting for me to leave her apt. then im going to die. Its like a bad seinfeld episode.
So i start thinking of ways to get my self out of this slump. For some reason i had never thought to really pray about it. Like hardcore praying, i had always mentioned in my nightly prayers, help me over come this father, etc. So before bed i devote all my prayers to thanking god for everything i have, and apologizing for never really being grateful for it. And then i start to ask for his forgivness and ask for his help overcoming my depression. Next thing you know i realize that i have just become so pessemistic its sickening.
So. Im working on that. Time to force my self to cheer up and quit being such a grumpy gills.
So i went to the church i was babtised in today. Absolutly loved it. Im going to be going back next sunday. I felt so comfortable, i felt like i could talk to the people around me. I didnt get a strong message from the sermon but while the preacher was preaching i would zone out into prayerfull meditation and i would come in and out at parts that were relative to my prayers and thoughts. It was really a wonderfull experience. I cant wait to go back and get involved in it.
Other than that, my shampoo has moved to california. I really cant believe it. I didnt even get to see her before she left. She wont be back to indy until sept. It sucks something awful. She just started talking about thinking about moving to california. Less than a month later she was already there. Im pretty bummed about it. But im happy for her, and i hope her and dave are really happy.
Ive got some more stuff but ill have to update that later, im pretty tired and need a nap. But im getting the house hopefully. We'll be in a new place by the end of the mont regaurdless.
Toodles.