so many babies
So im starting to get annoyed at how pseudo smart everyone gets when they go to college. Give it up scarf, go have another latte'.
Its funny cause im a scarf, and i love a nice latte'.
Anyway, on with the important stuff. So quite abit has changed since my past update. Me and the girl mentioned have been hanging out quite a bit recently. We actually hung out for about 20 hours straight, only sleeping for a few hours or so. Big hang up though, shes still with her boyfriend. Ill hang out with her and her roommates and ill just get a bad vibe and on the drive home im talkin it up like, "welp, guess thats out". Then shell call me and well hang out just the two of us and its perfect. She really cracks me up, is cute as a button, and a great listener. I dont know though. Its like everything clicks with her except half of its missing. I know what that is but i pretend like its not. I do believe that its "ice cream girl".
I really dont want to go into a whole lot of detail about this, but just for my personal records, i called her as a last ditch effort after work on an very gloomy day in september. She didnt answer, i left a voicemail hopeing shed call back but knowing she wouldnt. After that i gave up and tried my best to move on. It was hard but i knew i had to. I figured i had messed it up beyond all reconcilliation and hoped to find number 2. So I set back out into the dateing world and had a string of very bad luck. I just couldnt get a date. I figured i was just rusty after spending so long away from the game and kept on trying. I had a girlfriend for about 4 or 5 days and we broke up. That was the only date i scored in a few months.
Then, on black friday, my celebration of one year as a christian, and one year of my gifts given to me by god. Education, Carreer, family. I was declined to the marines and deffered for one year. I basically just wrote it off because i figured out another way to become a cop. My carreer was just as said. I was working at houghton mifflin, however i wasnt going to the marines so i wasnt sure how long i was going to stay there. And my family, well like i said before i had given up on it.
On that day i woke up around 1 or 2 in the afternoon. Started fasting and reading my bible. I got up to read on the couch. I read for a bit and then opened the computer. There my aim was up and i had a message from an unknown buddy. It was leslie "ice cream girl". She was sending me the message, by the way at 11:30 or so in the morning, roughly the time in which i was being saved one year ago, in reply to my voicemail i had left her months ago. She said she was sorry it took her so long to get back to me, but she hoped that i was ok, and whatever i was having problems with i got worked out and for me to call her. So obviously im ellated. I dont believe in coincedence, even if i did, this is too surreal to be one. So a few days pass before i can talk to her. I let her know everything about how i became a christian and why it effected her. She has a boyfriend with whome she's been having trouble with recently but is in love with very much so. She believes that it is very weird, but she doesnt think im making it up and she doesnt think im a creep and she also believes that its atleast worth a good friendship at best. My thoughts exactly. Im not trying to break up her and her boyfriend. I figure if this is true prophecy then i shouldnt have to, right? Its all just so weird. Some times i wish it didnt even happen. Its just that its so hard for me. I feel like im taking all the pressure. Believe me its alot, its enough to drive you crazy. Some days its just too much for me to handle, but only when i let it.
So recently i havent really been talking to her. She is very busy and is extremely bad about returning calls/txts. I also think she has some large personal things on her hands right now shes trying to deal with, so ive just been biding my time i suppose.
After the past few months and having my dreams stolen from me after i invested my everything into it, you can imagine that im a bit apprehensive to just dive right back into it. I notice alot of old feelings coming back, old thoughts, and old ways of thinking. Its really scary but through prayer and the grace of god im starting to over come it. So ive been spending my time with lauren trying not to fall to hard into this whole leslie thing. Im just now noticing that i think im actually using lauren as a ladder to hold onto, or a cruch you could say. Somthing to keep me from falling to hard. Im scared, and i need someone to see me through it.
Im planning on telling lauren that maybe we shouldnt hang out. Shes been with her boyfriend for 2 years. He loves her and i think she loves him. I shouldnt be doing what im doing plain and simple. Im trying to get her to date me so that i dont have to face my problems alone. If she didnt have a boyfriend it might be a different story. I just cant break them up and i know thats what im trying to do. He's a good guy and they deserve to be happy. I shouldnt try to come between that just for my own comfortability.
But if they break up with out me having anything to do with it im on it like white on rice.
:D
Post Script!
Ive been talking to sarah alot more and i know she reads this so i just want to say i love her and its almost like were friends again. Like all those other times we would be like, yadda yadda, ive missed you so much, blah blah, yes ill call you everyday blah blah. But for the first time were actually keeping in touch. And i do say its alot easier when im not the only one trying ;D
I love you sarah, and i miss our late night phone conversations about absolutly everything. "sarah, do you think id make a pritty girl?" Somthing about you does make me say gay things im not sure what it is. But i love you so much, you really are like a sister to me. I really do feel like im just getting back into touch with a sister i havent talked to for so long. Words dont describe how much i want our friendship back.
I love you buddy.
Evan
Its funny cause im a scarf, and i love a nice latte'.
Anyway, on with the important stuff. So quite abit has changed since my past update. Me and the girl mentioned have been hanging out quite a bit recently. We actually hung out for about 20 hours straight, only sleeping for a few hours or so. Big hang up though, shes still with her boyfriend. Ill hang out with her and her roommates and ill just get a bad vibe and on the drive home im talkin it up like, "welp, guess thats out". Then shell call me and well hang out just the two of us and its perfect. She really cracks me up, is cute as a button, and a great listener. I dont know though. Its like everything clicks with her except half of its missing. I know what that is but i pretend like its not. I do believe that its "ice cream girl".
I really dont want to go into a whole lot of detail about this, but just for my personal records, i called her as a last ditch effort after work on an very gloomy day in september. She didnt answer, i left a voicemail hopeing shed call back but knowing she wouldnt. After that i gave up and tried my best to move on. It was hard but i knew i had to. I figured i had messed it up beyond all reconcilliation and hoped to find number 2. So I set back out into the dateing world and had a string of very bad luck. I just couldnt get a date. I figured i was just rusty after spending so long away from the game and kept on trying. I had a girlfriend for about 4 or 5 days and we broke up. That was the only date i scored in a few months.
Then, on black friday, my celebration of one year as a christian, and one year of my gifts given to me by god. Education, Carreer, family. I was declined to the marines and deffered for one year. I basically just wrote it off because i figured out another way to become a cop. My carreer was just as said. I was working at houghton mifflin, however i wasnt going to the marines so i wasnt sure how long i was going to stay there. And my family, well like i said before i had given up on it.
On that day i woke up around 1 or 2 in the afternoon. Started fasting and reading my bible. I got up to read on the couch. I read for a bit and then opened the computer. There my aim was up and i had a message from an unknown buddy. It was leslie "ice cream girl". She was sending me the message, by the way at 11:30 or so in the morning, roughly the time in which i was being saved one year ago, in reply to my voicemail i had left her months ago. She said she was sorry it took her so long to get back to me, but she hoped that i was ok, and whatever i was having problems with i got worked out and for me to call her. So obviously im ellated. I dont believe in coincedence, even if i did, this is too surreal to be one. So a few days pass before i can talk to her. I let her know everything about how i became a christian and why it effected her. She has a boyfriend with whome she's been having trouble with recently but is in love with very much so. She believes that it is very weird, but she doesnt think im making it up and she doesnt think im a creep and she also believes that its atleast worth a good friendship at best. My thoughts exactly. Im not trying to break up her and her boyfriend. I figure if this is true prophecy then i shouldnt have to, right? Its all just so weird. Some times i wish it didnt even happen. Its just that its so hard for me. I feel like im taking all the pressure. Believe me its alot, its enough to drive you crazy. Some days its just too much for me to handle, but only when i let it.
So recently i havent really been talking to her. She is very busy and is extremely bad about returning calls/txts. I also think she has some large personal things on her hands right now shes trying to deal with, so ive just been biding my time i suppose.
After the past few months and having my dreams stolen from me after i invested my everything into it, you can imagine that im a bit apprehensive to just dive right back into it. I notice alot of old feelings coming back, old thoughts, and old ways of thinking. Its really scary but through prayer and the grace of god im starting to over come it. So ive been spending my time with lauren trying not to fall to hard into this whole leslie thing. Im just now noticing that i think im actually using lauren as a ladder to hold onto, or a cruch you could say. Somthing to keep me from falling to hard. Im scared, and i need someone to see me through it.
Im planning on telling lauren that maybe we shouldnt hang out. Shes been with her boyfriend for 2 years. He loves her and i think she loves him. I shouldnt be doing what im doing plain and simple. Im trying to get her to date me so that i dont have to face my problems alone. If she didnt have a boyfriend it might be a different story. I just cant break them up and i know thats what im trying to do. He's a good guy and they deserve to be happy. I shouldnt try to come between that just for my own comfortability.
But if they break up with out me having anything to do with it im on it like white on rice.
:D
Post Script!
Ive been talking to sarah alot more and i know she reads this so i just want to say i love her and its almost like were friends again. Like all those other times we would be like, yadda yadda, ive missed you so much, blah blah, yes ill call you everyday blah blah. But for the first time were actually keeping in touch. And i do say its alot easier when im not the only one trying ;D
I love you sarah, and i miss our late night phone conversations about absolutly everything. "sarah, do you think id make a pritty girl?" Somthing about you does make me say gay things im not sure what it is. But i love you so much, you really are like a sister to me. I really do feel like im just getting back into touch with a sister i havent talked to for so long. Words dont describe how much i want our friendship back.
I love you buddy.
Evan