I'm a Saint, but under a very bad sign
Life couldn't get any shittier when your last days before graduation are spent in perpetual frustration, a bucket of sad, sad tears and bastard of a classmate who couldn't shut her trap about crap (and control her repugnant self from inflicting pain to everyone around her with her "accidental" painful brushing of shoulders)
Why am I so angsty? I feel like I've disturbed people in their f-list with angry entries these past few months. ;A; Why can't I ever write about happy things like an SS3 Manila fan account, or movie marathons or a lot of sunshine and daisies?
Anyway, I wouldn't be writing about life being shitty if they weren't true, right? And I swear to be as unbiased as possible by telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
So here it goes:
Yearbook editor called for a meeting in the middle of morning graduation practice. Turns out, it was a closure of some sort among the members regarding who's dedicated to their YB duties and who's not. Not surprisingly, I was nominated as "Lazy Ass of the Year." Editor-dear, who also happens to be my clubmate and friend, finds it prerogative to have the yearbook staff's commitment phobia attended once and for all.
I admit with shame: I took the situation with my own class personally. I let private matters mingle with my responsibilities for my own section's character sketches. But that doesn't make me less of a committed yearbook staffer. Primordial cause of general bull crap in the form of a repugnant human being did preoccupy me with bitching instead of typing, yes, but I am serious in getting work done...no matter how much I wished they'd all get bitch-slapped minus a few selected precious people.
The painful thing that came next after getting your commitment questioned, is being humiliated in front of everyone. Closure my ass. That was the most tactless and insensitive strategy ever.
My co-staffer just confessed (her mouth always comes first before her brain) or should I say, tactlessly blurted out, that she and I are not in good terms:
Therefore, the class' delay during submission of all requirements. Talk about insensitive? Wrong? Stupid? And I'm not even aware that we ended up like that; I thought we were okay after the recollection. Fuck it all, we haven't spoken a word since!
The first thing that came to my mind after that was: "I'm unapproachable? Am I not civil enough to this frenzy, non-existing bipolar that she thinks I'm the one with attitude problem?" I know myself. I am a professional. Work is work. I don't bitch at anyone for the sake of group work, and...unless called for major bitching.
Here's a rundown of how co-staffer and I communicate in the most friendly terms:
Me:Hi! Hey, come on, let's get this done.
She: *whines* b-but-but... *snaps at me* *tries to reason out over and over again* *makes small things big* *flares up* *conversation ends with her saying a what seems like 5 paragraphs* *walks out on me*
Me: ...i'm sorry, so how are going to do this again?
Co-staffer is a complete weirdo. She makes a phenomenon out of trivial circumstances, and makes hers, and everyone else's lives, harder by insisting her difficult ways. Irrevocably imprudent. Undeniably impossible. SHE JUST MADE THINGS WORSE FOR ME IN THE CLOSURE WHEN SHE TOLD EVERYONE THAT SHE AND I ARE NOT IN GOOD TERMS, WTF.
I feel like I'm such a saint for NOT retorting back along the lines of "tactless," "annoying" and "a combination of both." Instead, I pleaded to her in my most polite manner to take this soon-to-be-spat some place private in case I try to gauge her eyes out.
I explained my case as nice as possible. I told her that she comes off as a little mean, bipolar, snobbish...bitch. At the face of humiliation, she just told me that it's a qualitative trait that she possesses, and that it's very normal for her and her friends, even. THEREFORE, I should be the one adjusting to her mental illness. WTF, really, WTF. She apologized to me for what happened a while back (she says she's really sorry for doing what she did) and tells me to forget about what just transpired and work like happy and supportive yearbook staffers of our class. Was she shitting on me? After what she just did in the other room? I seriously think she's bipolar.
Fast-forward to recess, I sat down with my old peepz instead at the other side of the cafeteria to quell down my heated thoughts of attempting murder and further unnecessary crying. After a momentary rational discussion of my circumstances and her stupidity, my good friend, whose unbiased judgement I can always count on, told me to rest assure that I am not entirely at fault. If anything, co-staffer is the one at fault...mostly because of her unbearable attitude.
I got a few pats and words of comfort (committal sounds of agreement?) from my friends and lovelies who totally sympathize with my situation, bless them all. I got a hug from my other favorite teacher, too. It's very comforting to know that after telling others my little incident in a very unbiased and rational point of view, I'm still reigning as the right one...you know what I'm saying. The point is: she humiliated me in front of everybody. I'm not entirely in the wrong! Disagreements, doubts, spats, uncooperative and argumentative members...they're all natural when it comes to group work. And I accept whatever fault they find in me for my improvement and for the sake of the goal GIVEN that what they say are all true.
Okay, so maybe I hate my own class minus a few. Maybe I don't care about them anymore (Fuck yeah, I'm gonna graduate on the 26th.) But I beg to disagree that I have no initiative to fulfill my own duties. In fact, when I confronted co-staffer during dismissal, I think I have just proven her wrong. I told her to look back to last Friday's meeting.
Last Friday:
Me: Hey, have you encoded the character sketches due today?
She: Uhh, no.
Me: Well, deadline has been moved to the 21st, I say we all split the work into 3 so we can all get it done by then. Saturday's a batch day, and I won't be going, so I can probably do 50% of the work, I'll take 1 to--
She: ---No, that's okay, I'll do them all in one weekend.
Now, co-staffer here reasoned out that I'm the one in lack of initiative and dedication because I didn't approach her during the weekend to help her out in editing the character sketches. Ahhh, but here's the thing:
My conclusions?
I relayed to her my conclusions and logic. She was taking it all in very humbly. If anything, I think I got through to her, and she got guilty because she knows I'm fucking right. The night after that, she e-mailed me the entire character sketches with a heart-felt message of apology. "Sorry," it just says. -_______- I'm glad to know that the trouble she caused me by lying and making me the humiliating center of attention in the yearbook meeting was so trivial and petty that I don't even deserve a little something like, I don't know maybe CONFESS TO THEM ABOUT YOUR LIES.
So I heard that she doesn't want to see me again after our little talk. *facepalm* I can't believe she made herself look like a victim...HELLO? You just got me into trouble with the yearbook staff because of your cowardice and manipulation of the truth! Isn't that my line?
Why am I so angsty? I feel like I've disturbed people in their f-list with angry entries these past few months. ;A; Why can't I ever write about happy things like an SS3 Manila fan account, or movie marathons or a lot of sunshine and daisies?
Anyway, I wouldn't be writing about life being shitty if they weren't true, right? And I swear to be as unbiased as possible by telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
So here it goes:
Yearbook editor called for a meeting in the middle of morning graduation practice. Turns out, it was a closure of some sort among the members regarding who's dedicated to their YB duties and who's not. Not surprisingly, I was nominated as "Lazy Ass of the Year." Editor-dear, who also happens to be my clubmate and friend, finds it prerogative to have the yearbook staff's commitment phobia attended once and for all.
I admit with shame: I took the situation with my own class personally. I let private matters mingle with my responsibilities for my own section's character sketches. But that doesn't make me less of a committed yearbook staffer. Primordial cause of general bull crap in the form of a repugnant human being did preoccupy me with bitching instead of typing, yes, but I am serious in getting work done...no matter how much I wished they'd all get bitch-slapped minus a few selected precious people.
The painful thing that came next after getting your commitment questioned, is being humiliated in front of everyone. Closure my ass. That was the most tactless and insensitive strategy ever.
My co-staffer just confessed (her mouth always comes first before her brain) or should I say, tactlessly blurted out, that she and I are not in good terms:
- that I have attitude problems
- I have no initiative
- that I didn't even bother to help her out during the weekends to finish the character sketches .
Therefore, the class' delay during submission of all requirements. Talk about insensitive? Wrong? Stupid? And I'm not even aware that we ended up like that; I thought we were okay after the recollection. Fuck it all, we haven't spoken a word since!
The first thing that came to my mind after that was: "I'm unapproachable? Am I not civil enough to this frenzy, non-existing bipolar that she thinks I'm the one with attitude problem?" I know myself. I am a professional. Work is work. I don't bitch at anyone for the sake of group work, and...unless called for major bitching.
Here's a rundown of how co-staffer and I communicate in the most friendly terms:
Me:Hi! Hey, come on, let's get this done.
She: *whines* b-but-but... *snaps at me* *tries to reason out over and over again* *makes small things big* *flares up* *conversation ends with her saying a what seems like 5 paragraphs* *walks out on me*
Me: ...i'm sorry, so how are going to do this again?
Co-staffer is a complete weirdo. She makes a phenomenon out of trivial circumstances, and makes hers, and everyone else's lives, harder by insisting her difficult ways. Irrevocably imprudent. Undeniably impossible. SHE JUST MADE THINGS WORSE FOR ME IN THE CLOSURE WHEN SHE TOLD EVERYONE THAT SHE AND I ARE NOT IN GOOD TERMS, WTF.
I feel like I'm such a saint for NOT retorting back along the lines of "tactless," "annoying" and "a combination of both." Instead, I pleaded to her in my most polite manner to take this soon-to-be-spat some place private in case I try to gauge her eyes out.
I explained my case as nice as possible. I told her that she comes off as a little mean, bipolar, snobbish...bitch. At the face of humiliation, she just told me that it's a qualitative trait that she possesses, and that it's very normal for her and her friends, even. THEREFORE, I should be the one adjusting to her mental illness. WTF, really, WTF. She apologized to me for what happened a while back (she says she's really sorry for doing what she did) and tells me to forget about what just transpired and work like happy and supportive yearbook staffers of our class. Was she shitting on me? After what she just did in the other room? I seriously think she's bipolar.
Fast-forward to recess, I sat down with my old peepz instead at the other side of the cafeteria to quell down my heated thoughts of attempting murder and further unnecessary crying. After a momentary rational discussion of my circumstances and her stupidity, my good friend, whose unbiased judgement I can always count on, told me to rest assure that I am not entirely at fault. If anything, co-staffer is the one at fault...mostly because of her unbearable attitude.
I got a few pats and words of comfort (committal sounds of agreement?) from my friends and lovelies who totally sympathize with my situation, bless them all. I got a hug from my other favorite teacher, too. It's very comforting to know that after telling others my little incident in a very unbiased and rational point of view, I'm still reigning as the right one...you know what I'm saying. The point is: she humiliated me in front of everybody. I'm not entirely in the wrong! Disagreements, doubts, spats, uncooperative and argumentative members...they're all natural when it comes to group work. And I accept whatever fault they find in me for my improvement and for the sake of the goal GIVEN that what they say are all true.
Okay, so maybe I hate my own class minus a few. Maybe I don't care about them anymore (Fuck yeah, I'm gonna graduate on the 26th.) But I beg to disagree that I have no initiative to fulfill my own duties. In fact, when I confronted co-staffer during dismissal, I think I have just proven her wrong. I told her to look back to last Friday's meeting.
Last Friday:
Me: Hey, have you encoded the character sketches due today?
She: Uhh, no.
Me: Well, deadline has been moved to the 21st, I say we all split the work into 3 so we can all get it done by then. Saturday's a batch day, and I won't be going, so I can probably do 50% of the work, I'll take 1 to--
She: ---No, that's okay, I'll do them all in one weekend.
Now, co-staffer here reasoned out that I'm the one in lack of initiative and dedication because I didn't approach her during the weekend to help her out in editing the character sketches. Ahhh, but here's the thing:
- She volunteered herself to do all of them
- Of course, I'm not going to let her do them all by herself. The reason I agreed in letting her do so was because I expected her to have them all done by Saturday night so she can send them to me straight away for final revision and proof-reading.
- Saturday was a batch day, so she couldn't have finished the character sketches in less than 24 hours.
- She was not in her own home; she was at her grandmother's house where the internet for Facebook does not exist.
My conclusions?
- Bitch was lying through her teeth
- I had no work or contribution for my class' character sketches. Because help in any form would be totally improbable given the circumstances.
- The credit is all hers because she did (only the first phase) of editing in one day---Sunday. She has no choice but to submit them all on Monday, which was the final deadline.
- I guess it's human nature to pin down the fault on somebody else?
I relayed to her my conclusions and logic. She was taking it all in very humbly. If anything, I think I got through to her, and she got guilty because she knows I'm fucking right. The night after that, she e-mailed me the entire character sketches with a heart-felt message of apology. "Sorry," it just says. -_______- I'm glad to know that the trouble she caused me by lying and making me the humiliating center of attention in the yearbook meeting was so trivial and petty that I don't even deserve a little something like, I don't know maybe CONFESS TO THEM ABOUT YOUR LIES.
So I heard that she doesn't want to see me again after our little talk. *facepalm* I can't believe she made herself look like a victim...HELLO? You just got me into trouble with the yearbook staff because of your cowardice and manipulation of the truth! Isn't that my line?