Jaimee's Memorial Service
[Wrote this about a week ago]
This is probably an irreverent way to describe it, but I think that grief is like a ninja freight train. You never really know when it's going to come out of nowhere and just completely slam you. Grieving for Jaimee has been like periods of numbness interspersed with ninja freight train attacks.
Last Wednesday was Jaimee's memorial service, although everyone tried to refer to it as a “celebration of life.” I do much prefer the idea of emphasizing Jaimee's life over emphasizing our own grief, but I doubt it makes living through the experience any easier.
The whole group of us took the day off work as much as we could that day. I was glad I had, because I didn't find out that I would be speaking until late Tuesday night, when we all met to have dinner together and discuss the service with Rony, so I spent about 3 hours on Wednesday morning writing my eulogy. Then I met Ali and our friend Marlene (who has moved away, but came back for the service) for lunch. Afterward we picked up Amy and all went to get pink pedicures for the service, because Jaimee loved pink and pedicures. All of us, including the men, wore black and pink. After the service, there was a reception with lots of cookies and sweets, and then we went with Rony's family to a late dinner.
I was very privileged to get to be part of Jaimee's service, in addition to the some of the other members of our old Bible study. Brandon gave the opening prayer, and Ty read Psalm 100. Amy, Ali, and I all were able to give a eulogy for Jaimee, and Ryan gave a brief eulogy/introduction to Rony's eulogy. Jaimee's dad Tim spoke as well, and her close friend Danielle danced to a song that Jaimee had once asked to be played at her funeral, “Arms that Hold the Universe.” Three of Jaimee's favorite worship songs were played by a band, and all the attendees were invited to sing along. The songs were “This is the Day,” “In Christ Alone,” and “I Love you Lord.” They played a video in the beginning of the service with lots of silly and beautiful photos of Jaimee, as well as a few live videos - I got to see tiny college student Jaimee zipped into a rolling suitcase, and saw Rony propose to her. Jaimee's grandpa closed the service with a sweet story meant to emphasize the fact that although it seems to us that Jaimee has left, it is actually that she has been welcomed home.
I've inserted Mine, Amy's, and Ali's eulogies, in the order they were given. I don't have access to Rony's or Tim's, but they were extremely touching and well-spoken and gave me new insight into this little person with the big personality that we all loved so much and so dearly.
My Eulogy
Hi, I'm Elizabeth. I met Jaimee just last year, at which point it became immediately apparent to me that she was one of the most wonderful people that anyone has ever met. The only problem I had with Jaimee is that she kind of made the rest of us look bad. When I met her the first time, I thought to myself, "Wow, that's a pretty cool chick. Sure, she coughs a lot, but she's funny and that pretty? That seems unfair." And then I noticed how stylish and well put-together she always was. And then I heard her sing, so beautifully. And then I heard her play bass guitar. And then I listened to her discussing Scripture and her faith with amazing clarity and insight. And so on and so forth. I mean, seriously. To be friends with Jaimee was to live in a state of continuous mind-blowing astonishment at how awesome she was. Unless, of course, you were on her team during any trivia game that tested a player's knowledge of history.
As I was thinking about what I wanted to say today, I found myself wishing that I'd kept a Jaimee quote-book handy during our friendship, to record all of the hilarious and unexpected things she was likely to bust out with at any time. I remember thinking to myself "Did she really just say that?" at least a half-dozen times during any one conversation with her. One time, she made a surprisingly convincing argument that a car accident was not her fault but Rony's, even though she was the one driving, because he had distracted her with his handsomeness. She sounded so sure of herself that I couldn't help but believe her, and to share her blase confidence that she couldn't be blamed for her actions when faced with such an overly attractive true love. At least, I think Rony was her true love. Once her dog Hurley came on the scene, it became more difficult to tell where her loyalties lay. It's hard to blame her for that, Rony - Hurley is almost as irresistible as Jaimee herself, and watching her interact with him was to see pure joy.
Not that pure joy was out of the ordinary for Jaimee. Despite all the challenges that she faced, she approached everything with a grace and optimism that was completely inspiring. Her life is a clear expression, at least to me, of what happens when a person lives for Christ alone. And if Jaimee is an example of the joyfulness that occurs when someone makes every effort to live for Christ, then it's obvious what we should all strive to do every day of our lives. Because if living for Christ makes someone even half as awesome as my friend Jaimee, then I think that's a pretty good goal. And if I could tell Jaimee that right now, I'm sure she'd just shrug and say, "Toats." I love you, Jaimee. I'll see you soon.
Amy's Eulogy
Hello everyone, the girls told me this afternoon that I should tell you who I am. My name is Amy Stewart.
Some of you may not know that Jaimee loved her some Starbucks, but she did. She was requesting the same drink for weeks whenever I came to see her, a chai tea latte WITH WHIP PLEASE, and I went to Starbucks so often that they knew Jaimee was spelled with two "ee's", and there was no question of with or without whip.
Rony gave me the privilege of speaking to you about one of my dearest friends. She would not want us to cry, she would want us to sing praises to the God most high. She would want us to sing for Him and dance for Him. I want you to see the things about Jaimee that has made me love her as much as I do. I hope that it would in return get you remember your favorite things about her too, and hold on to those memories. She would like that, she liked attention.
I have been blessed with knowing Jaimee for almost 2 years now. She was actually one of the first people I hung out with from OB1. We went to get breakfast during the men's breakfast Saturday, which started our first tradition together might I add. I remember calling my friend back in Bakersfield and telling her that it was so amazing meeting a new friend that had such an amazing outlook on life.
The things I loved about Jaimee ... I loved the way she sung, she truly sounded like an angel. I loved her passion for God and sharing the word. I loved the way she would give herself so completely to doing something, like the OB Christmas play. I loved that she would somehow always have 1/4 of a cookie left when we went to olive tree that she would give to me. I loved the way she gave really wimpy hugs. Why? I really don't know other than they were from her. I loved the way that she was brutally honest when it came to scriptural truth, regardless of how it made someone feel. I loved the way she would say things like "happy birfday", "ouce cweam" and "toats magoats". I loved that she enjoyed Disney and Pixar movies as much as I do. I loved the way she would eat chocolate cake, gummy bears (only if they were hard) and red velvet cake. I loved that she was a woman of impeccable style and grace. I loved that when she started laughing really hard she would start to snort. I loved the way she would go out of her way to do anything a friend needed. I loved the way that she loved Rony with all of her heart. I loved the way that she truly lived for everyday and that she never wanted anyone to feel sorry for her. I loved her strength and her courage that she had throughout her life. I could go on and on, but most of all I just loved her for being such an amazing friend.
I wish I could have had more time to get to know Jaimee better, because she truly was such an amazing woman who already miss so much - but I know that I will see her soon. I wish that all of you got to see the way that Jaimee sung and danced with her arms high to the sky praising our God during worship. She had this amazing ability to just focus on God through the words and grow closer to Him. I pray that we all will learn from her faith and love for God and make our lives more focused on Him. May we love him fully and whole-heartedly the way she did. Jaimee loved so many worship songs, so we are now going to play a few of her favorite ones.
Ali's Eulogy
I met Jaimee a few years back when a bunch of us went out to a Mexican restaurant after church. I'm a little vague on the details of what happened - but I'm pretty sure I remember her asking if there was any cake available for dessert. And I thought to myself: man, that girl knows what's up!
Over the course of the last few years, my husband and I have been blessed to grow closer to Rony and Jaimee. They became part of our church small group, and we started spending most of our time off together when they moved to the neighborhood.
When Jaimee had to stop working this year, that meant we both had a lot of free time on our hands during the week, that we filled with long dog park afternoon, Starbucks chats, and naps while watching TV game shows and Dr Phil. Come to think of it though, we didn't really talk much about each other's past. So there are a lot of things that I don't know - like the name of her high school, her favorite teddy bear when she was a kid, or if she ever got detention.
There are a few things though that I do know for sure, that pertain to the essence of who Jaimee is, and that seem to matter so much more!
Truth # 1. She's funny as heck
You probably all know her favorite joke - it made her laugh so hard she could barely finish it!
So there are these two muffins baking in an oven. One of them yells, "Wow, it's hot in here!"
And the other muffin replies: "Holy cow! A talking muffin!"
Or one of her hilarious FB survey answers:
Have you ever been to a strip club?
Only when Ineed some extra money
Are you a cat or a dog person?
yes
Complete the sentence: Babies are... quote "crying crazies delivered in poop sacks. I mean … little bundles of joy!"
Do you speak any other language?
I took French in high school and college so... no
Truth # 2. She knows how to appreciate the good things in life
In most of her survey answers, somewhere you will find something along the lines of
What was the last thing you ate?
gummy bears...a lot of them
Be it sleeping in, having cake before dinner, stuffing giant marshmallows up in her mouth, pouring over Disney puzzles - or any puzzle for that matter, watching animated movies or being endeared by little older gentlemen, Jaimee, without contest, knew how to embrace the good things in life.
Truth # 3. She values relationships more than anything
Be it her Swizzle Stick Rony, her Mommy and Dad and Big Brudder, her Doogie Hurley-bah or her friends, all of you here today are a testimony of this truth that Jaimee valued and invested in people.
The one relationship she brags up the most however, and the one that consumed her life is the one she developed with God through the course of life and hardship these last few years. If you read her Bio, it says "I have a strong committed relationship with the Lord. So, the rest just basically speaks for itself."
And for this relationship, that shaped and fueled her life, comes the fourth truth:
Truth # 4. She chose a life of gratefulness, surrender and trust
Jaimee, describe your life in one word. (this was while she was in the hospital)
Blessed
Is anyone jealous of you?
If they're not, they should be :)
How do you feel about your life right now?
Peaceful and content in knowing that God knows what I don't
Jaimee made a choice, the choice we all have to make, between living for ourselves, on our own strength, and for our own achievements, or acknowledging that there is a God and that has a specific plan and purpose for our lives. Despite illness and hardship and a being dealt a hand that would seem unfair to most, she chose to live a life surrendered to God's purpose. And that gave her such freedom.
No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.
She often said to me: "Though I don't know what it is, I will serve my purpose here as long as God sees it fit, then He will take me home." No matter how much she loved us and loved her life here, Jaimee's faith was rock solid and she was not fooled - and as we all should, she longed for heaven, longed to be home.
So now, as she gets to worship God in heaven at the top of her lungs, let's worship Him here on earth the way she did, with the words that started her Song of praise, and shaped her life. It goes : "I love you Lord, and I lift my voice to worship you!"
Enduring this lovely service was very difficult for me. I managed to hold it together through my eulogy, which thankfully was right at the beginning, after the video and Brandon's prayer. Then Amy couldn't help but cry a little during hers, which set me off, and the worship songs just sealed the deal. I was a complete and utter mess through to the end. Everyone kept saying that "Jaimee wouldn't want us to cry" or "Jaimee would want us to be joyful." But even believing that Jaimee is in heaven, which I do, you have to cry. Because the crying isn't about Jaimee, exactly, but about our loss of Jaimee. I cry for the fact that I'll never get to see her again or laugh at all the funny things she says. I cry in sympathy for her husband, and for her parents and brother. I cry because even If she has gone someplace better, she has left us and this earth for good, and that is something that requires tears.
This is probably an irreverent way to describe it, but I think that grief is like a ninja freight train. You never really know when it's going to come out of nowhere and just completely slam you. Grieving for Jaimee has been like periods of numbness interspersed with ninja freight train attacks.
Last Wednesday was Jaimee's memorial service, although everyone tried to refer to it as a “celebration of life.” I do much prefer the idea of emphasizing Jaimee's life over emphasizing our own grief, but I doubt it makes living through the experience any easier.
The whole group of us took the day off work as much as we could that day. I was glad I had, because I didn't find out that I would be speaking until late Tuesday night, when we all met to have dinner together and discuss the service with Rony, so I spent about 3 hours on Wednesday morning writing my eulogy. Then I met Ali and our friend Marlene (who has moved away, but came back for the service) for lunch. Afterward we picked up Amy and all went to get pink pedicures for the service, because Jaimee loved pink and pedicures. All of us, including the men, wore black and pink. After the service, there was a reception with lots of cookies and sweets, and then we went with Rony's family to a late dinner.
I was very privileged to get to be part of Jaimee's service, in addition to the some of the other members of our old Bible study. Brandon gave the opening prayer, and Ty read Psalm 100. Amy, Ali, and I all were able to give a eulogy for Jaimee, and Ryan gave a brief eulogy/introduction to Rony's eulogy. Jaimee's dad Tim spoke as well, and her close friend Danielle danced to a song that Jaimee had once asked to be played at her funeral, “Arms that Hold the Universe.” Three of Jaimee's favorite worship songs were played by a band, and all the attendees were invited to sing along. The songs were “This is the Day,” “In Christ Alone,” and “I Love you Lord.” They played a video in the beginning of the service with lots of silly and beautiful photos of Jaimee, as well as a few live videos - I got to see tiny college student Jaimee zipped into a rolling suitcase, and saw Rony propose to her. Jaimee's grandpa closed the service with a sweet story meant to emphasize the fact that although it seems to us that Jaimee has left, it is actually that she has been welcomed home.
I've inserted Mine, Amy's, and Ali's eulogies, in the order they were given. I don't have access to Rony's or Tim's, but they were extremely touching and well-spoken and gave me new insight into this little person with the big personality that we all loved so much and so dearly.
My Eulogy
Hi, I'm Elizabeth. I met Jaimee just last year, at which point it became immediately apparent to me that she was one of the most wonderful people that anyone has ever met. The only problem I had with Jaimee is that she kind of made the rest of us look bad. When I met her the first time, I thought to myself, "Wow, that's a pretty cool chick. Sure, she coughs a lot, but she's funny and that pretty? That seems unfair." And then I noticed how stylish and well put-together she always was. And then I heard her sing, so beautifully. And then I heard her play bass guitar. And then I listened to her discussing Scripture and her faith with amazing clarity and insight. And so on and so forth. I mean, seriously. To be friends with Jaimee was to live in a state of continuous mind-blowing astonishment at how awesome she was. Unless, of course, you were on her team during any trivia game that tested a player's knowledge of history.
As I was thinking about what I wanted to say today, I found myself wishing that I'd kept a Jaimee quote-book handy during our friendship, to record all of the hilarious and unexpected things she was likely to bust out with at any time. I remember thinking to myself "Did she really just say that?" at least a half-dozen times during any one conversation with her. One time, she made a surprisingly convincing argument that a car accident was not her fault but Rony's, even though she was the one driving, because he had distracted her with his handsomeness. She sounded so sure of herself that I couldn't help but believe her, and to share her blase confidence that she couldn't be blamed for her actions when faced with such an overly attractive true love. At least, I think Rony was her true love. Once her dog Hurley came on the scene, it became more difficult to tell where her loyalties lay. It's hard to blame her for that, Rony - Hurley is almost as irresistible as Jaimee herself, and watching her interact with him was to see pure joy.
Not that pure joy was out of the ordinary for Jaimee. Despite all the challenges that she faced, she approached everything with a grace and optimism that was completely inspiring. Her life is a clear expression, at least to me, of what happens when a person lives for Christ alone. And if Jaimee is an example of the joyfulness that occurs when someone makes every effort to live for Christ, then it's obvious what we should all strive to do every day of our lives. Because if living for Christ makes someone even half as awesome as my friend Jaimee, then I think that's a pretty good goal. And if I could tell Jaimee that right now, I'm sure she'd just shrug and say, "Toats." I love you, Jaimee. I'll see you soon.
Amy's Eulogy
Hello everyone, the girls told me this afternoon that I should tell you who I am. My name is Amy Stewart.
Some of you may not know that Jaimee loved her some Starbucks, but she did. She was requesting the same drink for weeks whenever I came to see her, a chai tea latte WITH WHIP PLEASE, and I went to Starbucks so often that they knew Jaimee was spelled with two "ee's", and there was no question of with or without whip.
Rony gave me the privilege of speaking to you about one of my dearest friends. She would not want us to cry, she would want us to sing praises to the God most high. She would want us to sing for Him and dance for Him. I want you to see the things about Jaimee that has made me love her as much as I do. I hope that it would in return get you remember your favorite things about her too, and hold on to those memories. She would like that, she liked attention.
I have been blessed with knowing Jaimee for almost 2 years now. She was actually one of the first people I hung out with from OB1. We went to get breakfast during the men's breakfast Saturday, which started our first tradition together might I add. I remember calling my friend back in Bakersfield and telling her that it was so amazing meeting a new friend that had such an amazing outlook on life.
The things I loved about Jaimee ... I loved the way she sung, she truly sounded like an angel. I loved her passion for God and sharing the word. I loved the way she would give herself so completely to doing something, like the OB Christmas play. I loved that she would somehow always have 1/4 of a cookie left when we went to olive tree that she would give to me. I loved the way she gave really wimpy hugs. Why? I really don't know other than they were from her. I loved the way that she was brutally honest when it came to scriptural truth, regardless of how it made someone feel. I loved the way she would say things like "happy birfday", "ouce cweam" and "toats magoats". I loved that she enjoyed Disney and Pixar movies as much as I do. I loved the way she would eat chocolate cake, gummy bears (only if they were hard) and red velvet cake. I loved that she was a woman of impeccable style and grace. I loved that when she started laughing really hard she would start to snort. I loved the way she would go out of her way to do anything a friend needed. I loved the way that she loved Rony with all of her heart. I loved the way that she truly lived for everyday and that she never wanted anyone to feel sorry for her. I loved her strength and her courage that she had throughout her life. I could go on and on, but most of all I just loved her for being such an amazing friend.
I wish I could have had more time to get to know Jaimee better, because she truly was such an amazing woman who already miss so much - but I know that I will see her soon. I wish that all of you got to see the way that Jaimee sung and danced with her arms high to the sky praising our God during worship. She had this amazing ability to just focus on God through the words and grow closer to Him. I pray that we all will learn from her faith and love for God and make our lives more focused on Him. May we love him fully and whole-heartedly the way she did. Jaimee loved so many worship songs, so we are now going to play a few of her favorite ones.
Ali's Eulogy
I met Jaimee a few years back when a bunch of us went out to a Mexican restaurant after church. I'm a little vague on the details of what happened - but I'm pretty sure I remember her asking if there was any cake available for dessert. And I thought to myself: man, that girl knows what's up!
Over the course of the last few years, my husband and I have been blessed to grow closer to Rony and Jaimee. They became part of our church small group, and we started spending most of our time off together when they moved to the neighborhood.
When Jaimee had to stop working this year, that meant we both had a lot of free time on our hands during the week, that we filled with long dog park afternoon, Starbucks chats, and naps while watching TV game shows and Dr Phil. Come to think of it though, we didn't really talk much about each other's past. So there are a lot of things that I don't know - like the name of her high school, her favorite teddy bear when she was a kid, or if she ever got detention.
There are a few things though that I do know for sure, that pertain to the essence of who Jaimee is, and that seem to matter so much more!
Truth # 1. She's funny as heck
You probably all know her favorite joke - it made her laugh so hard she could barely finish it!
So there are these two muffins baking in an oven. One of them yells, "Wow, it's hot in here!"
And the other muffin replies: "Holy cow! A talking muffin!"
Or one of her hilarious FB survey answers:
Have you ever been to a strip club?
Only when Ineed some extra money
Are you a cat or a dog person?
yes
Complete the sentence: Babies are... quote "crying crazies delivered in poop sacks. I mean … little bundles of joy!"
Do you speak any other language?
I took French in high school and college so... no
Truth # 2. She knows how to appreciate the good things in life
In most of her survey answers, somewhere you will find something along the lines of
What was the last thing you ate?
gummy bears...a lot of them
Be it sleeping in, having cake before dinner, stuffing giant marshmallows up in her mouth, pouring over Disney puzzles - or any puzzle for that matter, watching animated movies or being endeared by little older gentlemen, Jaimee, without contest, knew how to embrace the good things in life.
Truth # 3. She values relationships more than anything
Be it her Swizzle Stick Rony, her Mommy and Dad and Big Brudder, her Doogie Hurley-bah or her friends, all of you here today are a testimony of this truth that Jaimee valued and invested in people.
The one relationship she brags up the most however, and the one that consumed her life is the one she developed with God through the course of life and hardship these last few years. If you read her Bio, it says "I have a strong committed relationship with the Lord. So, the rest just basically speaks for itself."
And for this relationship, that shaped and fueled her life, comes the fourth truth:
Truth # 4. She chose a life of gratefulness, surrender and trust
Jaimee, describe your life in one word. (this was while she was in the hospital)
Blessed
Is anyone jealous of you?
If they're not, they should be :)
How do you feel about your life right now?
Peaceful and content in knowing that God knows what I don't
Jaimee made a choice, the choice we all have to make, between living for ourselves, on our own strength, and for our own achievements, or acknowledging that there is a God and that has a specific plan and purpose for our lives. Despite illness and hardship and a being dealt a hand that would seem unfair to most, she chose to live a life surrendered to God's purpose. And that gave her such freedom.
No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.
She often said to me: "Though I don't know what it is, I will serve my purpose here as long as God sees it fit, then He will take me home." No matter how much she loved us and loved her life here, Jaimee's faith was rock solid and she was not fooled - and as we all should, she longed for heaven, longed to be home.
So now, as she gets to worship God in heaven at the top of her lungs, let's worship Him here on earth the way she did, with the words that started her Song of praise, and shaped her life. It goes : "I love you Lord, and I lift my voice to worship you!"
Enduring this lovely service was very difficult for me. I managed to hold it together through my eulogy, which thankfully was right at the beginning, after the video and Brandon's prayer. Then Amy couldn't help but cry a little during hers, which set me off, and the worship songs just sealed the deal. I was a complete and utter mess through to the end. Everyone kept saying that "Jaimee wouldn't want us to cry" or "Jaimee would want us to be joyful." But even believing that Jaimee is in heaven, which I do, you have to cry. Because the crying isn't about Jaimee, exactly, but about our loss of Jaimee. I cry for the fact that I'll never get to see her again or laugh at all the funny things she says. I cry in sympathy for her husband, and for her parents and brother. I cry because even If she has gone someplace better, she has left us and this earth for good, and that is something that requires tears.