Let them eat cake.
Not sure exactly why, but my last journal pisses me off. Maybe because I never really thought about my new years resolutions and I think this year's is kind of stupid. Also, when I look at it I feel sheer exasperation over having to read it. If only I could shoot out cybertronic hate daggers out of my fingers.
Been taking classes at the U. I got an incomplete last spring due to medical reasons, and so I am fixing those. My favorite class is ballet. I have decided that if I could do anything and not worry about the money I would be a ballerina. My ballet class is at 8am (730 on wednesdays) and I can't control how ecstatic I am despite the early hour. I have already found an additional place that offers adult ballet and I plan to enroll in those classes on Jan. 24th.
Today I saw one of my old high school friends. He waved to me, but spent his time talking to Jessie (a coworker, and is apart of that friend group). I looked at pictures of my sister's 10-year highschool reunion, and I think about how pointless it would be to go to mine. All of my old friends would not be my friends. Sure I could reminece with those acquaintances of high school, but it wouldn't compare. I realize that about 99% of people don't remain friends with high school friends, but it makes me sad that they'll always be missing.
On the new friend front? Little to no activity. There are two people that I work with in discussion, Mike and Kevin, and they're the closest I have to friends. (Not counting Paul or Peter). Kevin seems especially nice. I think he likes me, but that's just a theory, maybe his efforts to be around me are just to be friends too. Despite the horrors of (a different) Kevin last spring, it hasn't affected my relationship with this new Kevin, even though they seem oddly alike. Both Kevin, both kind of weird, both chem with the professional interdisciplinary (math).
I guess I wish I had other friends, especially a girl friend to gush with and to think through boy problems, but I haven't found anyone. Sometimes I get lonely, but I know how to play alone and entertain myself. To be perfectly honest, probably the person I'm closest to (besides Paul) is my therapist Paula which is sad in it's own way. Mostly because if I stopped visiting her, her concern for me would cease. Paula said that probably my problem is that I want a best friend and not just a friend, so I put too much pressure or stock in this one friendship causing the whole thing to fall apart. I had hoped to make friends in my ballet class, but, I'm not even sure how to go from classmates in ballet to casually hanging out and getting coffee. I'm pretty sure if I was like "hey girls, lets go get coffee one day" I would come off as the creepy desperate lonely girl. The best chance is to have a study group with people from other classes, but I have a hard time maintaining those friends after the class is over. Like Ericka, Laura, and Keri from last spring? Never hear from/about the first two, and Keri? We're very distant facebook friends. Seems like my whole plan to make friends in my classes are fated to be doomed.
Been taking classes at the U. I got an incomplete last spring due to medical reasons, and so I am fixing those. My favorite class is ballet. I have decided that if I could do anything and not worry about the money I would be a ballerina. My ballet class is at 8am (730 on wednesdays) and I can't control how ecstatic I am despite the early hour. I have already found an additional place that offers adult ballet and I plan to enroll in those classes on Jan. 24th.
Today I saw one of my old high school friends. He waved to me, but spent his time talking to Jessie (a coworker, and is apart of that friend group). I looked at pictures of my sister's 10-year highschool reunion, and I think about how pointless it would be to go to mine. All of my old friends would not be my friends. Sure I could reminece with those acquaintances of high school, but it wouldn't compare. I realize that about 99% of people don't remain friends with high school friends, but it makes me sad that they'll always be missing.
On the new friend front? Little to no activity. There are two people that I work with in discussion, Mike and Kevin, and they're the closest I have to friends. (Not counting Paul or Peter). Kevin seems especially nice. I think he likes me, but that's just a theory, maybe his efforts to be around me are just to be friends too. Despite the horrors of (a different) Kevin last spring, it hasn't affected my relationship with this new Kevin, even though they seem oddly alike. Both Kevin, both kind of weird, both chem with the professional interdisciplinary (math).
I guess I wish I had other friends, especially a girl friend to gush with and to think through boy problems, but I haven't found anyone. Sometimes I get lonely, but I know how to play alone and entertain myself. To be perfectly honest, probably the person I'm closest to (besides Paul) is my therapist Paula which is sad in it's own way. Mostly because if I stopped visiting her, her concern for me would cease. Paula said that probably my problem is that I want a best friend and not just a friend, so I put too much pressure or stock in this one friendship causing the whole thing to fall apart. I had hoped to make friends in my ballet class, but, I'm not even sure how to go from classmates in ballet to casually hanging out and getting coffee. I'm pretty sure if I was like "hey girls, lets go get coffee one day" I would come off as the creepy desperate lonely girl. The best chance is to have a study group with people from other classes, but I have a hard time maintaining those friends after the class is over. Like Ericka, Laura, and Keri from last spring? Never hear from/about the first two, and Keri? We're very distant facebook friends. Seems like my whole plan to make friends in my classes are fated to be doomed.