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[oda_hates_me]

[There's a menace prowling around your forests and your town, Luceti.

Well, not a menace, per se, but the feline stalking through the streets and the trees is in a lousy mood. It's no house cat, either, ranging longer than four feet if you don't count the long tail swishing angry patterns through the air

Comments

[justasgirly]

[ You, sir, have a gawker perched on the couch. A special kind of "that cat is enormous, what the hell is it doing here" gawker. If she gets eaten in Luceti after everything else that's happened, Usopp is going to smack a bitch. ]

[all_blue_feline]

[Oh it's Usopp.

And you're still a hot woman.

The cat can't help it - it sorta gawks back because this sight will never not be strange.

Epic stare down. WHO WILL WIN?]

[justasgirly]

[ It's deadlocked for all of thirty seconds. Maybe thirty-five.

Yeah, Sanji wins. This is her cue to hold up a sketchpad and try to look like she believes it would make a good shield or weapon. Hey, she'll even throw in one of these free of charge: ] Nice kitty, please don't kill me.

[all_blue_feline]

[Longnose, why are you flaili-- Oh.

The gruff sigh it wants to produce comes out suspiciously hungry-sounding. Not its fault.

And stop looking at it like that! It yowls - Oi! It's me! - pacing a little as it resists the urge to jump on the couch and bat Usopp for being an idiot]

Flailing is also universal 8|

[justasgirly]

D-don't look at me like that! You're not even supposed to be in here, you know! [ Defeated slump goes here. She's going to die. She survived a four-ton bat to the face and she's going to be killed by a cat because she didn't expect one to just- just walk into the house. What is this world coming to? ]

Some things just never change

[oda_hates_me]

[C'mon, Usopp! Blond fur, one blue eye, and the left one is closed? Shit, you suck at this game.

It looks downright offended at being told it doesn't belong, which prompts a swift and vicious rebuttal --

It coming over and swatting a paw at your calf, minus any claws.

Pay attention!]

1/2

[justasgirly]

[ It's hard to be observant when you're freaking out, what. Buuut the lack of gaping wounds is working in your favor.

Suspicious stare. Blond fur...one blue eye... ]

Ah!

[justasgirly]

Luffy brought you home because you look like Sanji, didn't sh- ...he? [ Never gonna be used to that one.

...WHAT, Luffy would have. ]

[oda_hates_me]

[Nevermind you're technically right -- hiss Dx

Wrong answer.]

[justasgirly]

Well, you act like she trained you. [ Jumped a little at that hiss. But hey, still not eaten, which means she can get a closer look without being killed. Uh, hopefully. ]

...

...

...you're not. [ Like male-Sanji wasn't enough already DX ]

[all_blue_feline]

[Settles back into a sulking stare, complete with a soft yowl.

And this isn't the strangest thing that's happened to him, either]

[justasgirly]

[ ... Being Sanji means she's allowed to poke you, right? ]

I didn't think- can they really do that?

[all_blue_feline]

[It means at most he'll make half-assed attempts to bat at the hand like a whiny child.

Halfway through he gives up and decides he'd much rather flop on the ground to the side with his belly showing. If he's gonna be stuck like this, he's gonna be lazy doing it.]

[justasgirly]

I don't think that the scientists in this place like you at all. [ Or Oda, for that matter :|a ... someone is ear-scratching the miserable kitty. Poor double-whammy Sanji. ]

Well, it can't last forever, can it? Just- maybe a few weeks. [ As a cat. Good times. ] What are we supposed to feed you?

1/3

[oda_hates_me]

[The question over his diet leads to another round of pathetic whining... inbetween the purring. >___> Do get that other ear while you're at it, Longnose.

But this is one hell of a problem. On top of everything else, the last thing the crew needs is for him to be on all fours and incapable of talking, much less cooking.]

[all_blue_feline]

[Ugh, fuckin' Luceti]

Oi, instead of asking what to feed me, think of ways to...