Leaving Town And Never Looking Back
Tomorrow's my last day of high school. Ever. Do I care? Not at all. Will I miss it? Not at all. If I don't see 98% of West Stokes High School ever again I won't care. It's the truth. Will I have memories? Of course. Me and Josh being basically best friends through 10th grade. The many stupid things that happened then. April being completely awesome and taking me home my sophomore year and how close we got in that year. The memories from the 3rd base dugout that are great. The knowledge I learned from Tim McKnight, Tom Hooker, Kirk Goodson, and Eric Lickfeld in four years that will help me when I start coaching. I'll remember all of that but I won't miss it.
I'm going to Ace's Basement on Thursday night. Awesome show. Gonna be great. 6 bucks. Looking for people to go with. Lemme know if interested.
I've written two songs today. One is on the topic of yesterday's entry and another was just one I wrote. Here's the first one. It's called A Night Alone At Baptist. It's not about one person in particular, just different people.
i'm willing to bet that right now you're out living it up you say you wanna change but there's no chance you'll ever give it up i just wish that you would grow up and realize there are other things to life than that what will it take you for to see that you're just hurting yourself will a night at baptist make you come to grips with life and turn on the light that there are other things in life than that you called me last night at 2am spilling your guts but when i talk to you tonight will you even remember what you said you're ruining your life i won't be here forever grow up and see that there are other things in life than that
The next is called Fading Lights In A Bright Room.
what would it hurt for you to acknowledge my presence occasionally the room brightens up when you walk in i just wish it would be bright enough for you to see me standing there when we're alone you act like we're best friends but when your real ones are around i'm just a fading thought in the back of your mind i know i'm not good enough for you i know i shouldn't try but please answer why why am i pushed back why am i an afterthought when people are around why am i your best friend why am i the one you run to when noone is around what would it hurt for you to acknowledge my presence occasionally the room brightens up when you walk in i just wish it would be bright enough for you to see me standing there
Yea, I have a lot of stuff I wanna say but don't wanna type it. It's really pointless anyway. Noone cares. I've been saying the same thing for a while and everyone just says, "Don't worry it'll get better." Well screw you and your optimistic point of view. Sometimes you just gotta be realistic about things and realize that no, it won't get better. I may meet new people next year but they'll be just like every new person I've ever met and put me on the back burner and forget about me til I catch on fire and make a scene. And to the people who complain about not having friends but then constantly going out with a group of people every other night or have people to talk to online all the time, just shut up. Make everyone's lives better and never talk again. My life is wake up, school, work, come home and hope someone talks to me online. Currently I have 8 people on my buddy list online and not a single one is talking to me. And none of em will unless I IM them first. And I only have 10 people on there total. The only person I ever do anything with is my brother. My 13 year old brother that's going into 8th grade. I love the kid but I'm 17 freaking years old, about to graduate, and never have anything to do. I drive down the road and wave at people and they wave back but then they go on with their lives and forget I exist. From 6:15 when I get home til whenever I go to bed (normally around midnight-1) I spend by myself. Never an offer to go do something and when someone does do something they end up having something better to do. Someone more fun or more not me will call them and I'll get ditched. I'm used to it. I suck. I've never been good at anything. Average at a lot of things but never good at anything. I'd make a 70 in Making Friends 101. Sure people like me but do they want to hang out with me?
I'm done. Have a nice day. Say your prayers and take your vitamins. Bye.
I'm going to Ace's Basement on Thursday night. Awesome show. Gonna be great. 6 bucks. Looking for people to go with. Lemme know if interested.
I've written two songs today. One is on the topic of yesterday's entry and another was just one I wrote. Here's the first one. It's called A Night Alone At Baptist. It's not about one person in particular, just different people.
i'm willing to bet that right now you're out living it up you say you wanna change but there's no chance you'll ever give it up i just wish that you would grow up and realize there are other things to life than that what will it take you for to see that you're just hurting yourself will a night at baptist make you come to grips with life and turn on the light that there are other things in life than that you called me last night at 2am spilling your guts but when i talk to you tonight will you even remember what you said you're ruining your life i won't be here forever grow up and see that there are other things in life than that
The next is called Fading Lights In A Bright Room.
what would it hurt for you to acknowledge my presence occasionally the room brightens up when you walk in i just wish it would be bright enough for you to see me standing there when we're alone you act like we're best friends but when your real ones are around i'm just a fading thought in the back of your mind i know i'm not good enough for you i know i shouldn't try but please answer why why am i pushed back why am i an afterthought when people are around why am i your best friend why am i the one you run to when noone is around what would it hurt for you to acknowledge my presence occasionally the room brightens up when you walk in i just wish it would be bright enough for you to see me standing there
Yea, I have a lot of stuff I wanna say but don't wanna type it. It's really pointless anyway. Noone cares. I've been saying the same thing for a while and everyone just says, "Don't worry it'll get better." Well screw you and your optimistic point of view. Sometimes you just gotta be realistic about things and realize that no, it won't get better. I may meet new people next year but they'll be just like every new person I've ever met and put me on the back burner and forget about me til I catch on fire and make a scene. And to the people who complain about not having friends but then constantly going out with a group of people every other night or have people to talk to online all the time, just shut up. Make everyone's lives better and never talk again. My life is wake up, school, work, come home and hope someone talks to me online. Currently I have 8 people on my buddy list online and not a single one is talking to me. And none of em will unless I IM them first. And I only have 10 people on there total. The only person I ever do anything with is my brother. My 13 year old brother that's going into 8th grade. I love the kid but I'm 17 freaking years old, about to graduate, and never have anything to do. I drive down the road and wave at people and they wave back but then they go on with their lives and forget I exist. From 6:15 when I get home til whenever I go to bed (normally around midnight-1) I spend by myself. Never an offer to go do something and when someone does do something they end up having something better to do. Someone more fun or more not me will call them and I'll get ditched. I'm used to it. I suck. I've never been good at anything. Average at a lot of things but never good at anything. I'd make a 70 in Making Friends 101. Sure people like me but do they want to hang out with me?
I'm done. Have a nice day. Say your prayers and take your vitamins. Bye.