EPISODE PLAY BY PLAY!
I had such fun doing the one for Turk Flu, that I decided to do another one for "Will You Tolerate This" which is he very first episode of the season.
This one clocks in at about 2600 words. It's so easy to get carried away with these. But I'm sure I've missed many things out because I haven't watched this episode for quite some time.
Anyways:
Okay. So, we start in picturesque Sherwood Forest with the beautiful green leaves and a beautiful deer. Cue a very fitting addition to this beautiful scene with a Beautiful man with Beautiful blue eyes, dressed in green about to shoot the beautiful deer right in its beautiful eye because you can just tell that this Beautiful man means total business. At least, until the guards rock up and spoil his parade. So this man decides that it’s totally a great idea to try and outrun horses. He does a good job of it, I must say...until he decides to jump into some dead bushes. Then this poor guy is manhandled and he thinks the Law’s an Ass. He also argues that his wife needs the food because she’s preggers and if the kid is to have a chance, there must be food. The head guard retorts that then there’ll be an argument that there is another mouth to feed. No sympathy from this dude at all. Never the less, this attractive “husband” is given two choices: Go to Nottingham, have a trial and lose a hand. Or admit guilt right now and lose a finger. There is some thought, and clearly unhappy, Mr Handsome face gorgeous eyes says “Take the finger.” Sooo, the most attractive man in the entire show so far is manhandled once more and dragged to a log where he decides he kind of wants to keep all his beautiful fingers. Fair enough, they are rather lovely fingers.
One of the guards shows him how to put his fingers, when: ARROWS! OMG! Start hitting the wood all around his fingers. Cue a hooded figure. WHO DAT? “Seems I missed your hand. Let him go before my aim improves.” Badass line. I love it! Aaaanyway, This hooded dude who is mighty awesome with his bow and arrow skills convinces the guards to let the man in strife keep all his lovely body parts with him and wander off to cause more mischief. (Remember that lovely face, it’ll come back later, much to my delight.) How does he do this convincing? The cunning use of string and bushes and a sidekick.
CUT TO:
Much (aka cunningly utilised sidekick) is kind of silly and gives away the whole game. He and Robin (because...hood: Duh!) run away from guards on horses and have infinitely more success than the rather attractive man who tried the exact same get away just five minutes previous. Rather than jumping INTO a bush, they hide Lord of the Rings style under a tree root and use the bushes to cover themselves. Job done! Time for getting back home now, kthx.
Much thinks he could sing. Robin warns death may be in order if such a thing were to occur.
WHOREHOUSE SOME HOUSE WITH CLOTH EVERYWHERE!:
Much is against stopping because he wants home. Robin wants to stop because he’s been away for 5 years and he has a lot of sexy time to catch up on. Much is swayed with a pig. Yes, a pig. It’s cooking and Much is always, always hungry and so Robin and Much help dig a ditch. Robin goes in for “a drink” from Sarah, the Whore tits whore daughter of the dude who wants the ditch digging help. Of course, it’s clear that “a drink” to Sarah means “a snog and perhaps some sexing”. Robin is only too happy to obliged with the cunning use of sheets as a hide and seek tool. Low and behold, sheet falls down, Much is terrible at keeping someone’s attention on him and Daddy dearest sees Robin entertaining his lovely daughter. Daddy’s daughter, not Robin’s. AWKWARD!
So, Cue big fight scene with much sword wavery and phallic imagery. Robin decides...with a sword at his throat...that the best course of action would be to kiss Sarah again then backflip off the second story of the whorehouse cloth place. Much and Robin run...of course Much has to carry everything because he’s clearly a pack horse or something.
NIGHT IS COOOOOLD:
And to prove this, there is a tiny fire and you can see Robin and Much’s breath. Much is clearly unhappy with the way things turned out and Robin deals with that in a mature way. I used to do the exact same thing. Heh, a man after my own heart.
FINALLY, LOCKSLEY:
Robin fancies plants. And everyone is scared of strangers…because five years away from the place you rule over clearly puts you well out of people’s thoughts. Come on, you can’t tell who someone is after only FIVE YEARS? Something done fuck up there. Robin moseys on over to the only man who will acknowledge him. One Dan Scarlett. Resident carpenter and now sans hand. He recognises Robin because he’s not a daft fool. Out come Dan’s delightful boys Will and Luke. Luke is all “chck out mah gud bw n arow skllz1!11one! lol” and Robin’s like “Pssh. Take a breath before you shoot, then come talk to me.” Will is chewing grass. So he’s a cow now. Awesome! Robin makes a comment about Dan’s strong wife Jane...which warrants the most comical frown I’ve ever seen on a man. Jane’s deaded. She starved to death so her boys could eat. So...joy all round.
Enter Guy of Gisborne (SIR guy of Gisborne, thankyouverymuch) He kind of looks a little greasy, is dressed all in black leather and looks very, very shifty. You can immediately tell that this is a seriously. Bad. Dude. And Guy’s all “Cha. Whatev. Some dude has been stealing flour so I’m gonna take him with me to Nottingham for some puinshin'. That kay wit you? Pssh, as if I’m really asking” Robin’s all “Hey Guy. So, I’m back. You can go ‘way now. Byes! Oh, and leave that flour kid, kay?” And Guy’s all “Nuu.”
In Robin’s stately home, he’s hugged by the helpers and is informed that he totally needs a bath. Much says “ME TOO GUYZES LOL!” And they’re all “wtf?” So Robin informs them that Much is now a free man and going to be given Bonchurch. “k then. Bath it is. For two.” ”Separate baths plz” And Much takes off towards the bath...only to be informed he is heading for the servant’s quarters. “I knew that!”
Enter Guy of Gisborne once more. He says “War is cool and yay more dead on the other side and we’re winning! Glee! By the way, stop showing me up in front of the plebs.” Except with more pouting and brooding. Robin’s all “I don’t even like death OR killing. So you can just shut up. Kay. Go ‘way, as I said before. I’m so much better than you are and everyone loves me. And you’re too broody. Go ‘way. Thanks.” But then rather foreshadowingly, Guy says “I saw you fight, dude! You were boss” And Robin’s all “WTF? Wen wuz dat?” And Guy is all “I dun remember. BYE!”
MUCH IS HUNGRY/STUPID:
Much is bathing and eating…presumably nekid as a jaybird. In waltzes one of the lady servants, clearly unfazed by nekidity. They talk about war and Much eats rose petals. Silly man. “I knew that!” In comes Robin, also unfazed by nekidity. Jesus, can’t Much just cry in peace? Yus, he was crying. Presumably because war is tough. Robin is clearly unbathed and he just washes his face. “Let’s go see my wench.” And Much is all “But I want eats and sleeps and clean!” And Robin is all “OH YAH! Right, you stay here then. Bye!” But then of course, since Much is totally Robin’s biatch and I’m guessing from the grin on his face, Robin knows this too, Much follows him outside.
OUTSIDE:
Robin gives the order to his servants that everyone from the village is to tuck into the feast that was set up for Robin’s return. See, he’s a pretty decent fellow, this Robin of Locksley. Much is disappointed, because he loves food.
KNIGHTON:
The Old Sheriff don’t want a bar of Robin and he is another one of them ‘out of sight, out of mind’ers like from Locksley. Seriously. Five years isn‘t all that long! It’s not like they had plastic surgery in 1192! Cue Marian, much to Robin’s delight…even though she’s got an arrow pointed at his face. Cutting their losses, Much and Robin clear off. Although, Robin mentions that Marian is still at home and is therefore unmarried. POINTZ!
TIME TO MEET THE SHERIFF:
Robin wastes no time getting to the council of Nobles and Guy does fuck all in this scene except move his head up and down. Seriously, watch for that shit…it’s laughable. The Sheriff is all “You’re lands cool, Robby?” And Robin is all “Nah. Sucks. And you suck. And Guy kinda sucks too. And Taxes suck and all that sucky suck. No taxes plz. And trade is a good idea too. Kay, going home nao. Bai!”
BACK AT LOCKSEY:
Comical Frown Dan, The One Handed Man is all upset about some shit. Turns our Flour Power stealy guy squealed on his buds and turns out it were Luke and Will Scarlet. Shiz, yo.
BACK AT NOTTINGHAM:
“Yo, bring out the dudes from Locksley.” And who should be there, but that rather attractive man from the very start of the episode. Clearly he’s been getting into more mischief. Cheeky devil. He’s yelling that he’s also from Locksley. Clearly though, this is a lie. Robin and Much meet with the three real guys from Locksley who are not lying about where they’re from. It’s Luke, Will and Benedict (who is Flour Power stealy dude) WOEZ! “Fuck you here for?” Robin asks. Will, being the young whippersnapper he is, goes into a whole “Everything sucks and the sheriff sucks and taxes suck and life sucks and all that sucky suck” rant Which clearly wins Robin over because those were his exactly thoughts. Will gets a smack in the face for his troubles. “Fuck did you do, Benny boy?” “Flour. Stole it. Shouldn’t of. I go now?” Robin asks what his punishment is. “Dunno.” The Jailer subtley motions to his neck. Much is outraged. “WTF? HANGING? You’re going to hang these kids with hanging? Hanging? Hey, Benny, you believe this you’re going to get a hanging. You too Luke and Will. Hanging!” The boys in question freak out, of course and Luke is all “u sav us robin, plz? Dad sed u wuld! H8 u 2 fartface1!1!1one” Then my favourite line from the episode comes from the Jailer. “Do you mind? We don’t tell them if it’s the dangle.”
Cue that rather attractive troublemaker who has clearly been yelling that he’s from Locksley. No clue what’s just gone down. “You’re not from Locksley, foo’. Wtf?” is Robin’s response. Mr Handsome-face, attractive-hands, gorgeous-eyes is all “You saved me once. Just do that again. Kay...cuz I gots a kid now” and Much is all “But your wife was only preggers before...how she hav baby?” and Mr Handsome-face, attractive-hands, gorgeous-eyes is all “You do know that after preggers comes baby, yus? Coz, my wifey poo...who totally exists kaythanks...just had a baby! Yay me! I’m a Daddy!” And Robin is all “Shit man. You and your lying. I can’t save my own dudes and now you’re fuckin’ going with them.” And then Mr Handsome-face, attractive-hands, gorgeous-eyes is all “Wtf? Where am I going? Away from here, because that would be awesome.” As Robin and Much leave, Mr Handsome-face, attractive-hands, gorgeous-eyes realises he may have made a mistake. Another favourite line. “I’m not from Locksley. Did I say Locksely? There’s been a mistake here. I’m from Rochdale. Rochdale! That’s why they call me Allan A Dale” and thus, we know his name now. Glee! However, he’s being thrown in with the “Locksley Lot” for a Hangin’...so yeah. O NOEZ!
MARIAN IS A TEASE:
She informed Robin that Daddy Bean wants to see him...after Midnight. Kinks! There is some flirting and Marian remains teaserific.
THE SHERIFF IS A BASTARD:
“Yo’ Robin. You’re overseeing that hanging of your dudes tomoz. That kay?” Robin doesn’t think it is ‘kay’ “Whatevs. You’re doing it anyways. See you then!”
THE OLD SHERIFF IS WEAK:
“Don’t do anything. Even if they are your dudes. Don’t do anything. Just kind of...sit by and do nothing. Kay? Good plan, yus?” Robin thinks he’s a fuckhead and I’m inclined to agree.
HANGING IS FUNZ FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY:
Robin gets spat at, but also mildly comforted by Dan Dan the One Handed Man. “Not your fault. Kay? It just sucks that I used to have a whole family and now I wont. Not that I’m blaming you or anything. I don’t even have a left hand, man! I’d just like to keep my boys. But you know. Whatever.”
Out come the condemned men. Allan is first to come down the stairs and for some reason, he thinks just wandering off would be a good plan of action to get out of hanging. Cute as it is, it doesn’t get him too far. So, Robin reads out each of the men’s names...Allan A Dale is from Locksley now. Yay for having a home? Anyway: Hoods are whacked over heads and there is some guilt playing around. Because if Robin saves these dudes, Much is going to get thrown off the castle or something. Dilemma! (Which we will learn more about in “Parent Hood”) So, Robin decides to take the old Sheriff’s crap advice and do absolutely fuck all. Until crunch time...when his dudes are already swinging! Oh my god. Could you imagine that? Not even a sudden drop…just kind of slowly being lowered until your neck is holding you up. Fuckin’ hell. That’s rough.
Anyway, Robin shows off his totally killer bow skills and slaughters the rope that is dangling his dudes, even going so far as shooting down two at once. That’s Boss, yo. Robin then throws a sword at the guards holding Much, taking them both out with the cunning use of head bashery. Buuuut, then of course there is a guard with an arrow aimed straight at Robin, point blank. But does he shoot? No he don’t because it wouldn’t be much of a show if the Title character got dead in the first episode. Marian comes to aid, ignore her father’s crap advice about doing absolutely fuck all and she throws a hair pin at the guard. The fuck? Yeah, I know. Sharp hair things back then, since it like sticks in the guards arm. Would you put that anywhere near your head? Jesus!
So, Off run the four dudes…where did Luke and Benny go? With Danny Cakes? I don’t know. Probably. Anyway, The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse...Robin, Much, Will and Allan run away unchallenged. Then there are more archers, so with the cunning use of horses, the four horsemen ride STRAIGHT AT the archers. Good plan, obviously, since no one gets sticked with arrows. Will looks totally serious about the ordeal, Much looks petrified and Robin and Allan look like they love this kind of shit.
TEH FOREST:
And so begins the adventures of Robin and his gang of Dudes. They celebrate with a fire in the middle of nowhere. Will decides kindling is in order and Much states to obvious. “I’m not getting a lodge at Bonchurch, right? Fuck sticks.” Allan is all cool with the idea. “This is your lodge now, my friend. Sherwood Lodge.” Much is still bitter. “You’re not my friend.” Harsh, Much. Harsh. But Allan doesn’t look fazed in the slightest. Did I mention Allan is very attractive?
All of a Sudden: OMG THE MUSIC! Things have suddenly taken a turn for the dramatic as four dudes appear over the top of the Three remaining Dudes in Robin’s gang. “Excuse me! This is our Forest!”
...”Shit.”
THE END!
Woo! Funs!
Oh, that's more fun than it should be.
Although, I don't think this one was as good as the one for Turk Flu.
And if anyone doesn't believe me about the "Attractive Hands" thing...
I'll probably have a few more handy shots at some point.
Because those hands are beautiful.
And so are his eyes.
...Ooookay, I'm heading to the wrong side of creepy now.
This one clocks in at about 2600 words. It's so easy to get carried away with these. But I'm sure I've missed many things out because I haven't watched this episode for quite some time.
Anyways:
Okay. So, we start in picturesque Sherwood Forest with the beautiful green leaves and a beautiful deer. Cue a very fitting addition to this beautiful scene with a Beautiful man with Beautiful blue eyes, dressed in green about to shoot the beautiful deer right in its beautiful eye because you can just tell that this Beautiful man means total business. At least, until the guards rock up and spoil his parade. So this man decides that it’s totally a great idea to try and outrun horses. He does a good job of it, I must say...until he decides to jump into some dead bushes. Then this poor guy is manhandled and he thinks the Law’s an Ass. He also argues that his wife needs the food because she’s preggers and if the kid is to have a chance, there must be food. The head guard retorts that then there’ll be an argument that there is another mouth to feed. No sympathy from this dude at all. Never the less, this attractive “husband” is given two choices: Go to Nottingham, have a trial and lose a hand. Or admit guilt right now and lose a finger. There is some thought, and clearly unhappy, Mr Handsome face gorgeous eyes says “Take the finger.” Sooo, the most attractive man in the entire show so far is manhandled once more and dragged to a log where he decides he kind of wants to keep all his beautiful fingers. Fair enough, they are rather lovely fingers.
One of the guards shows him how to put his fingers, when: ARROWS! OMG! Start hitting the wood all around his fingers. Cue a hooded figure. WHO DAT? “Seems I missed your hand. Let him go before my aim improves.” Badass line. I love it! Aaaanyway, This hooded dude who is mighty awesome with his bow and arrow skills convinces the guards to let the man in strife keep all his lovely body parts with him and wander off to cause more mischief. (Remember that lovely face, it’ll come back later, much to my delight.) How does he do this convincing? The cunning use of string and bushes and a sidekick.
CUT TO:
Much (aka cunningly utilised sidekick) is kind of silly and gives away the whole game. He and Robin (because...hood: Duh!) run away from guards on horses and have infinitely more success than the rather attractive man who tried the exact same get away just five minutes previous. Rather than jumping INTO a bush, they hide Lord of the Rings style under a tree root and use the bushes to cover themselves. Job done! Time for getting back home now, kthx.
Much thinks he could sing. Robin warns death may be in order if such a thing were to occur.
WHOREHOUSE SOME HOUSE WITH CLOTH EVERYWHERE!:
Much is against stopping because he wants home. Robin wants to stop because he’s been away for 5 years and he has a lot of sexy time to catch up on. Much is swayed with a pig. Yes, a pig. It’s cooking and Much is always, always hungry and so Robin and Much help dig a ditch. Robin goes in for “a drink” from Sarah, the Whore tits whore daughter of the dude who wants the ditch digging help. Of course, it’s clear that “a drink” to Sarah means “a snog and perhaps some sexing”. Robin is only too happy to obliged with the cunning use of sheets as a hide and seek tool. Low and behold, sheet falls down, Much is terrible at keeping someone’s attention on him and Daddy dearest sees Robin entertaining his lovely daughter. Daddy’s daughter, not Robin’s. AWKWARD!
So, Cue big fight scene with much sword wavery and phallic imagery. Robin decides...with a sword at his throat...that the best course of action would be to kiss Sarah again then backflip off the second story of the whorehouse cloth place. Much and Robin run...of course Much has to carry everything because he’s clearly a pack horse or something.
NIGHT IS COOOOOLD:
And to prove this, there is a tiny fire and you can see Robin and Much’s breath. Much is clearly unhappy with the way things turned out and Robin deals with that in a mature way. I used to do the exact same thing. Heh, a man after my own heart.
FINALLY, LOCKSLEY:
Robin fancies plants. And everyone is scared of strangers…because five years away from the place you rule over clearly puts you well out of people’s thoughts. Come on, you can’t tell who someone is after only FIVE YEARS? Something done fuck up there. Robin moseys on over to the only man who will acknowledge him. One Dan Scarlett. Resident carpenter and now sans hand. He recognises Robin because he’s not a daft fool. Out come Dan’s delightful boys Will and Luke. Luke is all “chck out mah gud bw n arow skllz1!11one! lol” and Robin’s like “Pssh. Take a breath before you shoot, then come talk to me.” Will is chewing grass. So he’s a cow now. Awesome! Robin makes a comment about Dan’s strong wife Jane...which warrants the most comical frown I’ve ever seen on a man. Jane’s deaded. She starved to death so her boys could eat. So...joy all round.
Enter Guy of Gisborne (SIR guy of Gisborne, thankyouverymuch) He kind of looks a little greasy, is dressed all in black leather and looks very, very shifty. You can immediately tell that this is a seriously. Bad. Dude. And Guy’s all “Cha. Whatev. Some dude has been stealing flour so I’m gonna take him with me to Nottingham for some puinshin'. That kay wit you? Pssh, as if I’m really asking” Robin’s all “Hey Guy. So, I’m back. You can go ‘way now. Byes! Oh, and leave that flour kid, kay?” And Guy’s all “Nuu.”
In Robin’s stately home, he’s hugged by the helpers and is informed that he totally needs a bath. Much says “ME TOO GUYZES LOL!” And they’re all “wtf?” So Robin informs them that Much is now a free man and going to be given Bonchurch. “k then. Bath it is. For two.” ”Separate baths plz” And Much takes off towards the bath...only to be informed he is heading for the servant’s quarters. “I knew that!”
Enter Guy of Gisborne once more. He says “War is cool and yay more dead on the other side and we’re winning! Glee! By the way, stop showing me up in front of the plebs.” Except with more pouting and brooding. Robin’s all “I don’t even like death OR killing. So you can just shut up. Kay. Go ‘way, as I said before. I’m so much better than you are and everyone loves me. And you’re too broody. Go ‘way. Thanks.” But then rather foreshadowingly, Guy says “I saw you fight, dude! You were boss” And Robin’s all “WTF? Wen wuz dat?” And Guy is all “I dun remember. BYE!”
MUCH IS HUNGRY/STUPID:
Much is bathing and eating…presumably nekid as a jaybird. In waltzes one of the lady servants, clearly unfazed by nekidity. They talk about war and Much eats rose petals. Silly man. “I knew that!” In comes Robin, also unfazed by nekidity. Jesus, can’t Much just cry in peace? Yus, he was crying. Presumably because war is tough. Robin is clearly unbathed and he just washes his face. “Let’s go see my wench.” And Much is all “But I want eats and sleeps and clean!” And Robin is all “OH YAH! Right, you stay here then. Bye!” But then of course, since Much is totally Robin’s biatch and I’m guessing from the grin on his face, Robin knows this too, Much follows him outside.
OUTSIDE:
Robin gives the order to his servants that everyone from the village is to tuck into the feast that was set up for Robin’s return. See, he’s a pretty decent fellow, this Robin of Locksley. Much is disappointed, because he loves food.
KNIGHTON:
The Old Sheriff don’t want a bar of Robin and he is another one of them ‘out of sight, out of mind’ers like from Locksley. Seriously. Five years isn‘t all that long! It’s not like they had plastic surgery in 1192! Cue Marian, much to Robin’s delight…even though she’s got an arrow pointed at his face. Cutting their losses, Much and Robin clear off. Although, Robin mentions that Marian is still at home and is therefore unmarried. POINTZ!
TIME TO MEET THE SHERIFF:
Robin wastes no time getting to the council of Nobles and Guy does fuck all in this scene except move his head up and down. Seriously, watch for that shit…it’s laughable. The Sheriff is all “You’re lands cool, Robby?” And Robin is all “Nah. Sucks. And you suck. And Guy kinda sucks too. And Taxes suck and all that sucky suck. No taxes plz. And trade is a good idea too. Kay, going home nao. Bai!”
BACK AT LOCKSEY:
Comical Frown Dan, The One Handed Man is all upset about some shit. Turns our Flour Power stealy guy squealed on his buds and turns out it were Luke and Will Scarlet. Shiz, yo.
BACK AT NOTTINGHAM:
“Yo, bring out the dudes from Locksley.” And who should be there, but that rather attractive man from the very start of the episode. Clearly he’s been getting into more mischief. Cheeky devil. He’s yelling that he’s also from Locksley. Clearly though, this is a lie. Robin and Much meet with the three real guys from Locksley who are not lying about where they’re from. It’s Luke, Will and Benedict (who is Flour Power stealy dude) WOEZ! “Fuck you here for?” Robin asks. Will, being the young whippersnapper he is, goes into a whole “Everything sucks and the sheriff sucks and taxes suck and life sucks and all that sucky suck” rant Which clearly wins Robin over because those were his exactly thoughts. Will gets a smack in the face for his troubles. “Fuck did you do, Benny boy?” “Flour. Stole it. Shouldn’t of. I go now?” Robin asks what his punishment is. “Dunno.” The Jailer subtley motions to his neck. Much is outraged. “WTF? HANGING? You’re going to hang these kids with hanging? Hanging? Hey, Benny, you believe this you’re going to get a hanging. You too Luke and Will. Hanging!” The boys in question freak out, of course and Luke is all “u sav us robin, plz? Dad sed u wuld! H8 u 2 fartface1!1!1one” Then my favourite line from the episode comes from the Jailer. “Do you mind? We don’t tell them if it’s the dangle.”
Cue that rather attractive troublemaker who has clearly been yelling that he’s from Locksley. No clue what’s just gone down. “You’re not from Locksley, foo’. Wtf?” is Robin’s response. Mr Handsome-face, attractive-hands, gorgeous-eyes is all “You saved me once. Just do that again. Kay...cuz I gots a kid now” and Much is all “But your wife was only preggers before...how she hav baby?” and Mr Handsome-face, attractive-hands, gorgeous-eyes is all “You do know that after preggers comes baby, yus? Coz, my wifey poo...who totally exists kaythanks...just had a baby! Yay me! I’m a Daddy!” And Robin is all “Shit man. You and your lying. I can’t save my own dudes and now you’re fuckin’ going with them.” And then Mr Handsome-face, attractive-hands, gorgeous-eyes is all “Wtf? Where am I going? Away from here, because that would be awesome.” As Robin and Much leave, Mr Handsome-face, attractive-hands, gorgeous-eyes realises he may have made a mistake. Another favourite line. “I’m not from Locksley. Did I say Locksely? There’s been a mistake here. I’m from Rochdale. Rochdale! That’s why they call me Allan A Dale” and thus, we know his name now. Glee! However, he’s being thrown in with the “Locksley Lot” for a Hangin’...so yeah. O NOEZ!
MARIAN IS A TEASE:
She informed Robin that Daddy Bean wants to see him...after Midnight. Kinks! There is some flirting and Marian remains teaserific.
THE SHERIFF IS A BASTARD:
“Yo’ Robin. You’re overseeing that hanging of your dudes tomoz. That kay?” Robin doesn’t think it is ‘kay’ “Whatevs. You’re doing it anyways. See you then!”
THE OLD SHERIFF IS WEAK:
“Don’t do anything. Even if they are your dudes. Don’t do anything. Just kind of...sit by and do nothing. Kay? Good plan, yus?” Robin thinks he’s a fuckhead and I’m inclined to agree.
HANGING IS FUNZ FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY:
Robin gets spat at, but also mildly comforted by Dan Dan the One Handed Man. “Not your fault. Kay? It just sucks that I used to have a whole family and now I wont. Not that I’m blaming you or anything. I don’t even have a left hand, man! I’d just like to keep my boys. But you know. Whatever.”
Out come the condemned men. Allan is first to come down the stairs and for some reason, he thinks just wandering off would be a good plan of action to get out of hanging. Cute as it is, it doesn’t get him too far. So, Robin reads out each of the men’s names...Allan A Dale is from Locksley now. Yay for having a home? Anyway: Hoods are whacked over heads and there is some guilt playing around. Because if Robin saves these dudes, Much is going to get thrown off the castle or something. Dilemma! (Which we will learn more about in “Parent Hood”) So, Robin decides to take the old Sheriff’s crap advice and do absolutely fuck all. Until crunch time...when his dudes are already swinging! Oh my god. Could you imagine that? Not even a sudden drop…just kind of slowly being lowered until your neck is holding you up. Fuckin’ hell. That’s rough.
Anyway, Robin shows off his totally killer bow skills and slaughters the rope that is dangling his dudes, even going so far as shooting down two at once. That’s Boss, yo. Robin then throws a sword at the guards holding Much, taking them both out with the cunning use of head bashery. Buuuut, then of course there is a guard with an arrow aimed straight at Robin, point blank. But does he shoot? No he don’t because it wouldn’t be much of a show if the Title character got dead in the first episode. Marian comes to aid, ignore her father’s crap advice about doing absolutely fuck all and she throws a hair pin at the guard. The fuck? Yeah, I know. Sharp hair things back then, since it like sticks in the guards arm. Would you put that anywhere near your head? Jesus!
So, Off run the four dudes…where did Luke and Benny go? With Danny Cakes? I don’t know. Probably. Anyway, The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse...Robin, Much, Will and Allan run away unchallenged. Then there are more archers, so with the cunning use of horses, the four horsemen ride STRAIGHT AT the archers. Good plan, obviously, since no one gets sticked with arrows. Will looks totally serious about the ordeal, Much looks petrified and Robin and Allan look like they love this kind of shit.
TEH FOREST:
And so begins the adventures of Robin and his gang of Dudes. They celebrate with a fire in the middle of nowhere. Will decides kindling is in order and Much states to obvious. “I’m not getting a lodge at Bonchurch, right? Fuck sticks.” Allan is all cool with the idea. “This is your lodge now, my friend. Sherwood Lodge.” Much is still bitter. “You’re not my friend.” Harsh, Much. Harsh. But Allan doesn’t look fazed in the slightest. Did I mention Allan is very attractive?
All of a Sudden: OMG THE MUSIC! Things have suddenly taken a turn for the dramatic as four dudes appear over the top of the Three remaining Dudes in Robin’s gang. “Excuse me! This is our Forest!”
...”Shit.”
THE END!
Woo! Funs!
Oh, that's more fun than it should be.
Although, I don't think this one was as good as the one for Turk Flu.
And if anyone doesn't believe me about the "Attractive Hands" thing...
I'll probably have a few more handy shots at some point.
Because those hands are beautiful.
And so are his eyes.
...Ooookay, I'm heading to the wrong side of creepy now.