The Bitchin' Wallabies
Ok, another fic for the kink meme. This was for the request of six reviewers starting a rock band and there being lots of backstage relationship shenanigans, and while I admit I used the familiar Chick/Todd/Lupa triangle for part of it, I still worked in Critic/Film Brain, which I always love, and slut!Spoony, who I guess is closer to SWSpoony, but this time his affairs are consensual, even if they start off.. not consensual-ish.
The title comes from one of the best playings of Musical ever, where Greg, Mike, and Josie (sort-of) start a band, go to Australia, and come in third in a rock and roll championship! The Bitchin' Wallabies will always be one of the greatest bands to ever have existed.
Paw fiddled with his backstage pass and bore a grin of excitement as he watched the amazing performance on the stage before him. Channel Awesome was the newest, biggest rock sensation since The Beatles, and Paw had personally been invited to meet the group, as well as conduct an interview after their latest concert.
After Channel Awesome’s fifth encore, a swarm of enthusiastic fans hurried to wait by the backstage doors, hoping to snag an autograph or picture with any of the six members.
“Sorry, folks, but you’ll be waiting a long time tonight,” Paw thought as a muscle-bound security guard escorted him to the shared dressing room of the Nostalgia couple.
“They usually all meet up in here after a gig,” the security guard explained. “Three are already in there and the others will be along shortly.”
“Thanks so much,” Paw said, his smile growing. He knocked swiftly on the door and gripped his notepad tightly when he was allowed entry.
“I can’t believe I’m really meeting you,” he said, unable to keep the awe from his voice. “You guys… you’re awesome!”
“I knew that name would pay off one day,” the Nostalgia Critic, lead singer and founder of the band said with a chuckle. He was lounging on a couch beside a young woman with pigtails. “Didn’t I tell you that when I came up with the idea for the band, honey?”
“Huh? Yeah, I guess.” The Nostalgia Chick, the band’s female singer and girlfriend of the Critic, was seated at the end of the couch as far from her significant other as she could be. Her attention seemed focused entirely on the band’s keyboardist, the mysterious masked-man, Todd, who was relaxing in one of several large armchairs scattered throughout the room. Paw quickly followed suit and settled into the chair closest to the door.
“So Todd,” Paw said to the pianist, opening his notepad to a blank page. “You’re the newest member to Channel Awesome. How were you recruited into the band?” Todd shrugged.
“I was just fooling around in a little piano bar in downtown Chicago-”
“Fooling around?” the Chick interrupted with an adoring smile at Todd. “More like enchanting audiences with your magical fingers!”
“-and one day the Critic came up to me and asked if I was interested in playing in a band.”
“I thought having new blood would improve the atmosphere here,” the Critic said as he stared at the Chick with an unhappy expression. “I am now re-thinking that decision.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” the Chick said. “Todd’s the best keyboardist we’ve ever had and you know it. His playing is the glue that holds us together as a band.” The Critic narrowed his eyes and muttered something not fit to print under his breath.
“Uh, oh I have another question,” Paw said, hoping to lighten the suddenly tense atmosphere. It seemed to work as the three turned to look at him. “Where did you get the inspiration for your newest hit, ‘Big-Lipped Alligator Moment’?”
“That song was my creation,” the Chick piped up as she turned her gaze back to Todd. “It’s a song about how one day you feel stuck in a boring, loveless relationship just because it’s comfortable-”
“You fucking bitch,” the Critic said icily.
“-and the next day you find the one person who makes you excited and happy and just turns your whole life upside down, from out of nowhere, with neither rhyme nor reason! You know what that feeling’s like, don’t you Todd?” She looked hopeful as she asked. Todd, who had been guzzling down a beer, glanced up at the sound of his name.
“Was someone talking to me?” The Chick’s smile faltered for a second before returning with more strength.
“You’re so funny, Todd.”
“Unbelievable,” the Critic muttered. Paw couldn’t help sensing the discomfort in the room and searched for a new question to ask, when the door swung open once again and a swell of screaming assaulted his ears.
“Yo, bitches.” Spoony, the drummer for Channel Awesome, blew one last kiss to his legions of fans before sauntering over to the group. “Who’s this?” he asked, pointing to Paw.
“I’m here to interview you all, Mr. Spoony,” Paw replied quickly, holding up his notepad for proof.
“Aw, you don’t have to be so formal,” the drummer said as he settled on the arm of Paw’s chair. “No Mister, just Spoony, ok?” He smiled at Paw and squeezed his shoulder, in a way that seemed a bit overly familiar in Paw’s opinion, but who was he to complain in the presence of such beloved artists?
“Sure thing then, Spoony. Would you mind answering a few questions?” Spoony’s smile widened and he squeezed Paw’s shoulder again, with a bit more pressure this time.
“I think I have all the answers you’re looking for,” Spoony said as he cast his half-lidded gaze across the room. “The Critic seems like a confident guy, but he’s really fucking submissive in bed. He whines if you ask him to be on top even once, that lazy bastard.”
“Hey! Those meetings were supposed to be confidential!” the Critic yelled, his face bright red.
“The Chick, on the other hand, is a major dom,” Spoony continued, his fingers inching ever so slowly down Paw’s back. “She even has her own strap-on that she likes to use.”
“Men like confident women,” the Chick said, still staring at Todd.
“And that one over there,” Spoony said, pointing to the keyboardist, “total masochist. He begs for so much pain, even I feel guilty with the amount of punishment I dish out at times.”
“I’m totally into S&M too,” the Chick quickly told Todd. “Whips, chains, anything sharp enough to draw blood. Interested?”
“I’m right fucking here!” the Critic shouted.
“Not at all,” Todd said, which left the Chick looking deflated.
“Uh, um.” Paw struggled to think of a new question, which was difficult as he was being set off-balance not only by the angry interactions between people who seemed like the best of friends on-stage, but by the way Spoony’s hand was rubbing lower and lower down his back. That was a new, but extremely pleasant sensation, which was making Paw notice how very warm it was in the dressing room.
“We’re back!” The door opened once more to allow Film Brain and Obscurus Lupa entry.
“Hi Lupa!” Todd said, perking up enough to wave at the red-headed bass guitarist. The Chick scowled at him.
“Hi Critic!” Film Brain, who played electric guitar, said as hurried over to sit beside him on the couch.
“One of them’s a moaner and the other’s a screamer,” Spoony murmured to Paw about the guitarists. “I’ll let you guess which is which.” Paw could barely contain his own moan as the drummer’s hand started to caress his ass.
“Who’s this?” Lupa collapsed into an armchair next to Paw and stared at him curiously, while Paw struggled not to look as aroused as he felt.
“He’s doing an interview with us, Lupa,” Todd blurted out as he scooted his chair closer to where she sat. “I was just going to tell him how your guitar-work is the glue that holds us together as a band!”
“B-but Todd, that’s what I said!” the Chick protested.
“That was a sweet thing to say, Chick,” Lupa told her with a smile.
“Shut up,” Chick snapped.
“Okay!” Lupa replied, just as happily.
“I think the Critic is really the one who keeps us all together,” Film Brain said with a look of adoration that almost surpassed the Chick’s. “He’s been a true leader to us, and I never feel afraid to ask him for help or advice-”
“Or if you can blow him before the show starts?” Spoony teased, as his fingers moved under the waistband of Paw’s jeans. Paw bit down on his tongue to keep from moaning and lamented the fact that he had lost the ability to write many minutes ago.
“S-shut up!” Film Brain stuttered, his face going red. The Critic, however, was now appraising him with interest.
“Film Brain is actually my favorite member of Channel Awesome,” he said, which made the younger man whirl around to face him in shock.
“I am?” He squealed with surprise then as the Critic slid him over so that he was sitting atop his lap, but quickly quieted when the singer started to run a hand through his hair.
“That’s right. I never could have kept going if I didn’t have the support of someone who matters so much to me.” The Critic stared at the Chick as he talked, but she was still busy ogling Todd and didn’t notice.
“I-I never realized I was so important to you,” Film Brain murmured, his cheeks now flushed.
“I’m so sorry for never expressing my true appreciation,” the Critic said before leaning down to kiss the Brit’s neck. Film Brain moaned and shuddered, which would normally have made Paw uncomfortable, but he was too busy trying to make sure no one noticed his own heightened state of arousal. Spoony’s wandering hands certainly weren’t helping matters.
“Uh, if you’re going to do that, we should probably leave,” Lupa said as she observed her band mates with disinterest. “Come on, Mr. Reporter, let’s move this party to my dressing room.”
“I’ll go too!” Todd shouted as he jumped up.
“And me!” Chick said, also standing.
“Damn it!’ the Critic screamed as he pulled his mouth away from Film Brain’s neck. “Do you even see what I’m doing here?”
“Yeah, that’s nice honey,” the Chick said as she followed Todd and Lupa out of the room.
“Fuck this! That’s it, we are through!” the Critic roared, before turning back to the confused guitarist. “Come on, Film Brain! We’ll make it official in your room, since you have that waterbed!”
“Ok! Bye!” Film Brain waved enthusiastically as the Critic pulled him away.
“I thought they’d never leave,” Spoony muttered when the door closed at last. “Now that we’re alone, let’s get down to business.”
Paw realized his jeans were slowly being pulled down to his ankles, and decided this was not an entirely horrible thing. It was actually very pleasant, and as Spoony reached down to stroke his thighs, causing his notepad to fall to the floor, completely forgotten, he realized it sure as hell beat asking questions.
The title comes from one of the best playings of Musical ever, where Greg, Mike, and Josie (sort-of) start a band, go to Australia, and come in third in a rock and roll championship! The Bitchin' Wallabies will always be one of the greatest bands to ever have existed.
Paw fiddled with his backstage pass and bore a grin of excitement as he watched the amazing performance on the stage before him. Channel Awesome was the newest, biggest rock sensation since The Beatles, and Paw had personally been invited to meet the group, as well as conduct an interview after their latest concert.
After Channel Awesome’s fifth encore, a swarm of enthusiastic fans hurried to wait by the backstage doors, hoping to snag an autograph or picture with any of the six members.
“Sorry, folks, but you’ll be waiting a long time tonight,” Paw thought as a muscle-bound security guard escorted him to the shared dressing room of the Nostalgia couple.
“They usually all meet up in here after a gig,” the security guard explained. “Three are already in there and the others will be along shortly.”
“Thanks so much,” Paw said, his smile growing. He knocked swiftly on the door and gripped his notepad tightly when he was allowed entry.
“I can’t believe I’m really meeting you,” he said, unable to keep the awe from his voice. “You guys… you’re awesome!”
“I knew that name would pay off one day,” the Nostalgia Critic, lead singer and founder of the band said with a chuckle. He was lounging on a couch beside a young woman with pigtails. “Didn’t I tell you that when I came up with the idea for the band, honey?”
“Huh? Yeah, I guess.” The Nostalgia Chick, the band’s female singer and girlfriend of the Critic, was seated at the end of the couch as far from her significant other as she could be. Her attention seemed focused entirely on the band’s keyboardist, the mysterious masked-man, Todd, who was relaxing in one of several large armchairs scattered throughout the room. Paw quickly followed suit and settled into the chair closest to the door.
“So Todd,” Paw said to the pianist, opening his notepad to a blank page. “You’re the newest member to Channel Awesome. How were you recruited into the band?” Todd shrugged.
“I was just fooling around in a little piano bar in downtown Chicago-”
“Fooling around?” the Chick interrupted with an adoring smile at Todd. “More like enchanting audiences with your magical fingers!”
“-and one day the Critic came up to me and asked if I was interested in playing in a band.”
“I thought having new blood would improve the atmosphere here,” the Critic said as he stared at the Chick with an unhappy expression. “I am now re-thinking that decision.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” the Chick said. “Todd’s the best keyboardist we’ve ever had and you know it. His playing is the glue that holds us together as a band.” The Critic narrowed his eyes and muttered something not fit to print under his breath.
“Uh, oh I have another question,” Paw said, hoping to lighten the suddenly tense atmosphere. It seemed to work as the three turned to look at him. “Where did you get the inspiration for your newest hit, ‘Big-Lipped Alligator Moment’?”
“That song was my creation,” the Chick piped up as she turned her gaze back to Todd. “It’s a song about how one day you feel stuck in a boring, loveless relationship just because it’s comfortable-”
“You fucking bitch,” the Critic said icily.
“-and the next day you find the one person who makes you excited and happy and just turns your whole life upside down, from out of nowhere, with neither rhyme nor reason! You know what that feeling’s like, don’t you Todd?” She looked hopeful as she asked. Todd, who had been guzzling down a beer, glanced up at the sound of his name.
“Was someone talking to me?” The Chick’s smile faltered for a second before returning with more strength.
“You’re so funny, Todd.”
“Unbelievable,” the Critic muttered. Paw couldn’t help sensing the discomfort in the room and searched for a new question to ask, when the door swung open once again and a swell of screaming assaulted his ears.
“Yo, bitches.” Spoony, the drummer for Channel Awesome, blew one last kiss to his legions of fans before sauntering over to the group. “Who’s this?” he asked, pointing to Paw.
“I’m here to interview you all, Mr. Spoony,” Paw replied quickly, holding up his notepad for proof.
“Aw, you don’t have to be so formal,” the drummer said as he settled on the arm of Paw’s chair. “No Mister, just Spoony, ok?” He smiled at Paw and squeezed his shoulder, in a way that seemed a bit overly familiar in Paw’s opinion, but who was he to complain in the presence of such beloved artists?
“Sure thing then, Spoony. Would you mind answering a few questions?” Spoony’s smile widened and he squeezed Paw’s shoulder again, with a bit more pressure this time.
“I think I have all the answers you’re looking for,” Spoony said as he cast his half-lidded gaze across the room. “The Critic seems like a confident guy, but he’s really fucking submissive in bed. He whines if you ask him to be on top even once, that lazy bastard.”
“Hey! Those meetings were supposed to be confidential!” the Critic yelled, his face bright red.
“The Chick, on the other hand, is a major dom,” Spoony continued, his fingers inching ever so slowly down Paw’s back. “She even has her own strap-on that she likes to use.”
“Men like confident women,” the Chick said, still staring at Todd.
“And that one over there,” Spoony said, pointing to the keyboardist, “total masochist. He begs for so much pain, even I feel guilty with the amount of punishment I dish out at times.”
“I’m totally into S&M too,” the Chick quickly told Todd. “Whips, chains, anything sharp enough to draw blood. Interested?”
“I’m right fucking here!” the Critic shouted.
“Not at all,” Todd said, which left the Chick looking deflated.
“Uh, um.” Paw struggled to think of a new question, which was difficult as he was being set off-balance not only by the angry interactions between people who seemed like the best of friends on-stage, but by the way Spoony’s hand was rubbing lower and lower down his back. That was a new, but extremely pleasant sensation, which was making Paw notice how very warm it was in the dressing room.
“We’re back!” The door opened once more to allow Film Brain and Obscurus Lupa entry.
“Hi Lupa!” Todd said, perking up enough to wave at the red-headed bass guitarist. The Chick scowled at him.
“Hi Critic!” Film Brain, who played electric guitar, said as hurried over to sit beside him on the couch.
“One of them’s a moaner and the other’s a screamer,” Spoony murmured to Paw about the guitarists. “I’ll let you guess which is which.” Paw could barely contain his own moan as the drummer’s hand started to caress his ass.
“Who’s this?” Lupa collapsed into an armchair next to Paw and stared at him curiously, while Paw struggled not to look as aroused as he felt.
“He’s doing an interview with us, Lupa,” Todd blurted out as he scooted his chair closer to where she sat. “I was just going to tell him how your guitar-work is the glue that holds us together as a band!”
“B-but Todd, that’s what I said!” the Chick protested.
“That was a sweet thing to say, Chick,” Lupa told her with a smile.
“Shut up,” Chick snapped.
“Okay!” Lupa replied, just as happily.
“I think the Critic is really the one who keeps us all together,” Film Brain said with a look of adoration that almost surpassed the Chick’s. “He’s been a true leader to us, and I never feel afraid to ask him for help or advice-”
“Or if you can blow him before the show starts?” Spoony teased, as his fingers moved under the waistband of Paw’s jeans. Paw bit down on his tongue to keep from moaning and lamented the fact that he had lost the ability to write many minutes ago.
“S-shut up!” Film Brain stuttered, his face going red. The Critic, however, was now appraising him with interest.
“Film Brain is actually my favorite member of Channel Awesome,” he said, which made the younger man whirl around to face him in shock.
“I am?” He squealed with surprise then as the Critic slid him over so that he was sitting atop his lap, but quickly quieted when the singer started to run a hand through his hair.
“That’s right. I never could have kept going if I didn’t have the support of someone who matters so much to me.” The Critic stared at the Chick as he talked, but she was still busy ogling Todd and didn’t notice.
“I-I never realized I was so important to you,” Film Brain murmured, his cheeks now flushed.
“I’m so sorry for never expressing my true appreciation,” the Critic said before leaning down to kiss the Brit’s neck. Film Brain moaned and shuddered, which would normally have made Paw uncomfortable, but he was too busy trying to make sure no one noticed his own heightened state of arousal. Spoony’s wandering hands certainly weren’t helping matters.
“Uh, if you’re going to do that, we should probably leave,” Lupa said as she observed her band mates with disinterest. “Come on, Mr. Reporter, let’s move this party to my dressing room.”
“I’ll go too!” Todd shouted as he jumped up.
“And me!” Chick said, also standing.
“Damn it!’ the Critic screamed as he pulled his mouth away from Film Brain’s neck. “Do you even see what I’m doing here?”
“Yeah, that’s nice honey,” the Chick said as she followed Todd and Lupa out of the room.
“Fuck this! That’s it, we are through!” the Critic roared, before turning back to the confused guitarist. “Come on, Film Brain! We’ll make it official in your room, since you have that waterbed!”
“Ok! Bye!” Film Brain waved enthusiastically as the Critic pulled him away.
“I thought they’d never leave,” Spoony muttered when the door closed at last. “Now that we’re alone, let’s get down to business.”
Paw realized his jeans were slowly being pulled down to his ankles, and decided this was not an entirely horrible thing. It was actually very pleasant, and as Spoony reached down to stroke his thighs, causing his notepad to fall to the floor, completely forgotten, he realized it sure as hell beat asking questions.