life right now with a song

[oceansouth]

Once again I have tried to connect myself to another person in some way. Why is it that i feel that I need to have some type of connection. It is like im doing this to verify my existence, or feel that I am loved. I was so sad today cuz I was watching serial experiments lain all day long. Well i wasnt sad cuz it was depressing or anything just cuz I was staring at comp screen too long. Plus I we didnt end up going to lunch at mimi's cafe as planned for my dads birthday cuz grandparents suddenly had to leave (an unexpected visitor decided to drop by their house). So I had a lezy moment again today. how many have I had already. I hate how im so confused on everything, especially now. I cant decide on what I want or who I want. If that new incident didnt happen then I could have still been with bf and not have so many unwanted feelings. sucks. so here is the new song:
And you don't seem to understand
A shame you seemed an honest man
And all the fears you hold so dear
Will turn to whisper in your ear
And you know what they say might hurt you
And you know that it means so much
And you don't even feel a thing

I am falling, I am fading
I have lost it all

And you don't seem the lying kind
A shame then I can read your mind
And all the things that I read there
Candle lit smile that we both share
and you know I don't mean to hurt you
But you know that it means so much
And you don't even feel a thing

I am falling, I am fading, I am drowning
Help me to breathe
I am hurting, I have lost it all
I am losing
Help me to breathe