Determined (TBC)
This has been a really interesting year by far. It's strange and a bit scary how time is going by, the year is half over and pride fest is already back and what happened last year was a year ago! Only a year ago was when my first car overheated and i was stuck at a green light with a smoking car and no license! And more than a year ago i lost my cat Elmo. I miss his affection almost everyday.
Work and school has definitely caused this year to go by. After my current promotion to Pharmacy Tech at Walgreen's, its been so stressful and has taken away so much of my comfort and pride to work around people who don't really like me and customers who are always angry at you. Its like i deserve that 9.50 and so much more at this point for how shitty that position makes me feel. I basically keep it because I'm proud i made it to that point. And for the amazing hours it gives, basically 9 to 5. Mixed in with that was a fairly decent semester in school. I took 3 classes, Oral communication, Field study and Intro to Word, a 1 credit class to be half time for financial aid which i was later dropped from.
My speech class was rather nice for the most part, i thought i made a friend, a week into it, but after she realized her neighbor was in the class, she sat by her through the rest of the course! So i sat alone in the back through most of it while i listened to fresh out of high school kids be...high schoolers. It was funny tho id always make some sort of disturbance, I walked in sat down and was like "I smell gerbils!" and the two in front of my laughed. I was like "What? I do." I don't care if i have no friends in the class, I'm going to tell it like it is! lol. During a test my phone was on and got a text message which bursts "It's Britney bitch!!!" LOL. People were like ok??? And the teacher laughed. Good guy good guy. So the criteria of my speeches were rather unique to say the least. The topics were; preventable disasters, life after people, dreams, and the history of horror movies.
My other class this semester was field study! Dun dun dun, i finally get to the class where I'm required to travel and i still didn't have a License. Just a scary car which i call my dinosaur. So anyway, being the determined person i am, i still promised myself that i would make it work. The first month actually there was no traveling at all! Guest speakers and class discussions, a lot of school friends were in the class to so i was hoping for a few rides. After the first month we basically only took 1 field trip every week, 8 of them i think. The first few I drove myself and got a few rides from my school friend Alicia. But i suppose that got old quick and i became an inconvenience only after 2 times. So the next one i took a bus, actually like 5 buses to the G-H-E-T-T-O!!! Yikes, like i had to dress down and look basically terrible, and walk the rest of the way in the rain to this Harley Davidson store connected to some university. Lets just say, it wasn't worth it lol. And so i explained my dramatic ride her to everyone in the class, and after the field trip NO ONE offered me a ride home! Not even Alicia lol. After i got my license and car, the focus was less on the ride and more of the experience which was nice.
After my license suspension was up, i was determined more than ever to get what i wanted. I basically couldn't even use the car i had anymore. I was driving home and the HOOD flew up hit the windshield and cracked in front of my face!!! No one was behind me or in front of me while i pulled over blindly so i was ok. But seriously, WHO GOES THREW THAT??? I got my temps again, then scheduled road test in West Bend since Waukesha was seriously booked, talked it over with my mom, promised she'd go with me and researched new cars at the same time. Honda always interested me, and i found a car i loved on the site. Along with those plans, and with me and my mom getting on each others nerves on the way there. I took my test in West Bend. I ALMOST failed- 3 points from failing i believe. BUT It was the greatest feeling ever, 6 years of frustrations and drama and i finally had it!
The next week or so i got a new car, 2006 Honda Civic Coupe silver 2 door, my mom also co-signed for me. Along with the new car i stepped onto a new journey in my life with new lessons. All of a sudden i was the adult, driving everywhere, paying attention to the road, having to KNOW roads, learning Milwaukee, always chose to be out and about rather than be at home, who would with years of isolation? It got exhausting and sometimes it felt like i was just 'there'. I was happy enough that i just got where i needed to and that my car was still ok without experiencing the fun of why i drove in the first place (at times). Besides that i was truly happy and blessed to finally have that security in my life i was looking for. I'm still getting used to that role of BEING the driver, something that might take awhile to process.
Health wise, I'm doing fairly ok, i see doctors and therapists regularly at least once a month to keep a healthy mind. As far as depression, i know theres times where i get really sad and indulge in that emotion without fighting it. But it doesn't feel like depression, it feels like me just wanting to over exhadurate how i'm feeling. I was getting sick a lot before i think due to the fact i was working IN a pharmacy with people that come in and interact with you because they are sick!
Work and school has definitely caused this year to go by. After my current promotion to Pharmacy Tech at Walgreen's, its been so stressful and has taken away so much of my comfort and pride to work around people who don't really like me and customers who are always angry at you. Its like i deserve that 9.50 and so much more at this point for how shitty that position makes me feel. I basically keep it because I'm proud i made it to that point. And for the amazing hours it gives, basically 9 to 5. Mixed in with that was a fairly decent semester in school. I took 3 classes, Oral communication, Field study and Intro to Word, a 1 credit class to be half time for financial aid which i was later dropped from.
My speech class was rather nice for the most part, i thought i made a friend, a week into it, but after she realized her neighbor was in the class, she sat by her through the rest of the course! So i sat alone in the back through most of it while i listened to fresh out of high school kids be...high schoolers. It was funny tho id always make some sort of disturbance, I walked in sat down and was like "I smell gerbils!" and the two in front of my laughed. I was like "What? I do." I don't care if i have no friends in the class, I'm going to tell it like it is! lol. During a test my phone was on and got a text message which bursts "It's Britney bitch!!!" LOL. People were like ok??? And the teacher laughed. Good guy good guy. So the criteria of my speeches were rather unique to say the least. The topics were; preventable disasters, life after people, dreams, and the history of horror movies.
My other class this semester was field study! Dun dun dun, i finally get to the class where I'm required to travel and i still didn't have a License. Just a scary car which i call my dinosaur. So anyway, being the determined person i am, i still promised myself that i would make it work. The first month actually there was no traveling at all! Guest speakers and class discussions, a lot of school friends were in the class to so i was hoping for a few rides. After the first month we basically only took 1 field trip every week, 8 of them i think. The first few I drove myself and got a few rides from my school friend Alicia. But i suppose that got old quick and i became an inconvenience only after 2 times. So the next one i took a bus, actually like 5 buses to the G-H-E-T-T-O!!! Yikes, like i had to dress down and look basically terrible, and walk the rest of the way in the rain to this Harley Davidson store connected to some university. Lets just say, it wasn't worth it lol. And so i explained my dramatic ride her to everyone in the class, and after the field trip NO ONE offered me a ride home! Not even Alicia lol. After i got my license and car, the focus was less on the ride and more of the experience which was nice.
After my license suspension was up, i was determined more than ever to get what i wanted. I basically couldn't even use the car i had anymore. I was driving home and the HOOD flew up hit the windshield and cracked in front of my face!!! No one was behind me or in front of me while i pulled over blindly so i was ok. But seriously, WHO GOES THREW THAT??? I got my temps again, then scheduled road test in West Bend since Waukesha was seriously booked, talked it over with my mom, promised she'd go with me and researched new cars at the same time. Honda always interested me, and i found a car i loved on the site. Along with those plans, and with me and my mom getting on each others nerves on the way there. I took my test in West Bend. I ALMOST failed- 3 points from failing i believe. BUT It was the greatest feeling ever, 6 years of frustrations and drama and i finally had it!
The next week or so i got a new car, 2006 Honda Civic Coupe silver 2 door, my mom also co-signed for me. Along with the new car i stepped onto a new journey in my life with new lessons. All of a sudden i was the adult, driving everywhere, paying attention to the road, having to KNOW roads, learning Milwaukee, always chose to be out and about rather than be at home, who would with years of isolation? It got exhausting and sometimes it felt like i was just 'there'. I was happy enough that i just got where i needed to and that my car was still ok without experiencing the fun of why i drove in the first place (at times). Besides that i was truly happy and blessed to finally have that security in my life i was looking for. I'm still getting used to that role of BEING the driver, something that might take awhile to process.
Health wise, I'm doing fairly ok, i see doctors and therapists regularly at least once a month to keep a healthy mind. As far as depression, i know theres times where i get really sad and indulge in that emotion without fighting it. But it doesn't feel like depression, it feels like me just wanting to over exhadurate how i'm feeling. I was getting sick a lot before i think due to the fact i was working IN a pharmacy with people that come in and interact with you because they are sick!