[fic post] Shapeshifting is Cheating
Title: Shapeshifting is Cheating
Rating: G
Genre: Humor/Romance
Pairings or Characters: Billy/Teddy with bits of Eli/Kate, Cassie/Vision and Tommy/punch bowl
Warnings: derpiness, some underage drinking
Word Count: 1,109
Summary: It's Halloween night and Teddy is very proud of his terrible costume.
Author Notes: There was supposed to be porn, but my mojo left me. :( Late Halloween fic.
Shapeshifting is Cheating
"Teddy..." Billy starts in his 'are you seriously doing this' tone, looking at the floor and the boy in the middle of it in a mix of concern and embarrassment.
"Yup?" Teddy asks, not looking up.
"You... do know you're a shapeshifter, right? And that you can literally be anyone you want?"
"So?"
"Why are you making a costume?"
"Because shapeshifting would be cheating," Teddy says, before letting out a satisfied sigh and holding up his newly-crafted costume. Billy winces as he slides it on.
"Teddy, no offense, but your sewing skills are a bit... lacking. And what's that on your head?"
"It's the horns, er, hat. Thing."
"What are you supposed to be, anyway?"
Teddy stands up and holds out his arms in what Billy assumes is meant to be an impressive display. Instead it just kind of makes him look like a shower curtain. When Billy can't guess, Teddy frowns.
"I'm Maleficent. Y'know, from Sleeping Beauty."
"Why are you Maleficent?" Billy asks, holding a hand up to his face and thinking, Is this really my boyfriend? Oh my God, it is.
"Dude, she's, like, evil incarnate. She's bigger and badder than Kang himself! And isn't Halloween all about the dark and nasty things? What's darker and nastier than the personification of malice?"
"She gets taken down by three fat, old fairies."
"Hey, those fairies are badass, and Phillip helps, too," Teddy pouts, "But whatever, man, I know you're just jealous."
~
"What are you?" Tommy gawks, before bursting out laughing.
"He's Maleficent," Billy provides while Teddy folds his arms over his chest and grows several inches taller without even thinking about it. Billy has to tap his shoulder and warn him that he'll tear his outfit before he realizes and promptly shrinks back to normal.
Tommy is dressed like Magneto -- which makes him either the biggest suck up or the biggest narcissist Billy has ever met, and he's met Tony Stark -- and refuses to let go of the punch bowl, like it's his date to their unofficial Halloween gathering at the Young Avengers headquarters. Cassie is dressed like Marilyn Monroe while Vision is a traditional Dracula. Vision is thoroughly baffled by Teddy's costume, while Cassie hides giggles behind her hand and does her best to compliment him.
Despite his boyfriend looking like a shower curtain with cups on his head, Billy thinks he looks like a pretty snazzy astronaut. He had a pretty nerdy track record when it came to Halloween costumes, but he had settled for a less obscure outfit this year to avoid questions and remarks like, "So, what are you again?" and "I've never heard of it, sounds lame."
The irony that his boyfriend did exactly that the same year he decided not to is not lost on him.
Eli and Kate haven't arrived yet, and everyone but Tommy agrees that they're probably still on their totally-not-but-actually-really-is date. When Billy and Cassie speculate on how much longer they're going to spend totally-not-but-actually-really making out before showing up, Tommy groans and turns to his punch bowl, muttering, "Sweet, sweet, jungle juice. You'll never treat me like they do."
~
It actually only takes another half hour for the latecomers to finally show up, claiming bad traffic for the lateness. (Billy and Cassie exchange looks while Tommy makes kissing noises at the punch bowl.) Eli's dressed as a mummy, but he takes his mask off as he walks in, while Kate's dressed like a gladiator, plastic sword and all.
Teddy runs up to the two of them and stretches out his arms, making Kate leap back in surprise, holding her sword like she's about to strike.
"Jesus, Teddy, what--" she starts before Eli interrupts with, "Maleficent, right?"
Everyone stares, including Teddy, until Eli demands they explain why they're looking at him so weird. Teddy leaps at him and buries his face into his shoulder, letting out what may or may not be a happy sob or two. Eli looks panicked and glances at Billy over Teddy's shoulder, mouthing, 'What did I say?'
Billy takes a minute or two to finish laughing with the others before prying his boyfriend away from Eli and leading him back to the couch so they can start the movie, smiling as Teddy babbles on about how he knew someone would appreciate his costume.
~
They settle around the TV for a zombie movie marathon, starting with 28 Days Later. They make it through Army of Darkness and part of Dawn of the Dead before people start either nodding off or declaring that their parents expect them home.
Cassie has the earliest curfew, and Vision offers to escort her home. Though he lives at the Bishop Publishing building, everyone expects he'll stay at Cassie's for the night. Halfway through Zombieland, Eli takes a glance at his phone and curses, because he's got about twenty minutes before he promised his grandma he'd be home. Kate offers to give him a ride home, despite having another two hours before she's expected back. Soon, it's just Teddy, Billy, a semi-conscious Tommy, and his punch bowl, all draped across the couch watching as Tallahassee finally gets his twinkie.
Tommy is thoroughly drunk on jungle juice and grumbles about meeting banana-shaped aliens before passing out again. Teddy's removed his horns -- hat-- thing and is still massaging Billy's thigh as the credits start rolling.
"Hey," Billy whispers down at him. Teddy looks up and grins.
"Hey."
Tommy, Vision and Teddy have been living as unofficial roommates in the Bishop Publishing building since the Kree/Skrull conflict that left Teddy as an emancipated minor, Tommy as a busted out runaway, and Vision as... well, Vision. Billy's parents had been dubious about letting two boys -- one of whom was dating their son and the other who was likely the spiritual twin of their son -- and a robot live alone in an abandoned warehouse. But Kate managed to get a large portion of her father's money directed toward fixing up and refurnishing the building, so it was less like letting them live in an old, empty depot and more like them living in a very large flat.
Billy's gotten permission to stay over for the night, on the condition that if there is any superhero business he come home immediately after instead, and with everyone but Tommy gone, he has his mind set on getting Teddy out of that ridiculous costume. From the smile on Teddy's face, he has similar plans.
~
Thoroughly exhausted and tucked under Teddy's sheets, pieces of their costumes scattered all over the floor, Billy decides this year's Halloween is a success.
Rating: G
Genre: Humor/Romance
Pairings or Characters: Billy/Teddy with bits of Eli/Kate, Cassie/Vision and Tommy/punch bowl
Warnings: derpiness, some underage drinking
Word Count: 1,109
Summary: It's Halloween night and Teddy is very proud of his terrible costume.
Author Notes: There was supposed to be porn, but my mojo left me. :( Late Halloween fic.
Shapeshifting is Cheating
"Teddy..." Billy starts in his 'are you seriously doing this' tone, looking at the floor and the boy in the middle of it in a mix of concern and embarrassment.
"Yup?" Teddy asks, not looking up.
"You... do know you're a shapeshifter, right? And that you can literally be anyone you want?"
"So?"
"Why are you making a costume?"
"Because shapeshifting would be cheating," Teddy says, before letting out a satisfied sigh and holding up his newly-crafted costume. Billy winces as he slides it on.
"Teddy, no offense, but your sewing skills are a bit... lacking. And what's that on your head?"
"It's the horns, er, hat. Thing."
"What are you supposed to be, anyway?"
Teddy stands up and holds out his arms in what Billy assumes is meant to be an impressive display. Instead it just kind of makes him look like a shower curtain. When Billy can't guess, Teddy frowns.
"I'm Maleficent. Y'know, from Sleeping Beauty."
"Why are you Maleficent?" Billy asks, holding a hand up to his face and thinking, Is this really my boyfriend? Oh my God, it is.
"Dude, she's, like, evil incarnate. She's bigger and badder than Kang himself! And isn't Halloween all about the dark and nasty things? What's darker and nastier than the personification of malice?"
"She gets taken down by three fat, old fairies."
"Hey, those fairies are badass, and Phillip helps, too," Teddy pouts, "But whatever, man, I know you're just jealous."
~
"What are you?" Tommy gawks, before bursting out laughing.
"He's Maleficent," Billy provides while Teddy folds his arms over his chest and grows several inches taller without even thinking about it. Billy has to tap his shoulder and warn him that he'll tear his outfit before he realizes and promptly shrinks back to normal.
Tommy is dressed like Magneto -- which makes him either the biggest suck up or the biggest narcissist Billy has ever met, and he's met Tony Stark -- and refuses to let go of the punch bowl, like it's his date to their unofficial Halloween gathering at the Young Avengers headquarters. Cassie is dressed like Marilyn Monroe while Vision is a traditional Dracula. Vision is thoroughly baffled by Teddy's costume, while Cassie hides giggles behind her hand and does her best to compliment him.
Despite his boyfriend looking like a shower curtain with cups on his head, Billy thinks he looks like a pretty snazzy astronaut. He had a pretty nerdy track record when it came to Halloween costumes, but he had settled for a less obscure outfit this year to avoid questions and remarks like, "So, what are you again?" and "I've never heard of it, sounds lame."
The irony that his boyfriend did exactly that the same year he decided not to is not lost on him.
Eli and Kate haven't arrived yet, and everyone but Tommy agrees that they're probably still on their totally-not-but-actually-really-is date. When Billy and Cassie speculate on how much longer they're going to spend totally-not-but-actually-really making out before showing up, Tommy groans and turns to his punch bowl, muttering, "Sweet, sweet, jungle juice. You'll never treat me like they do."
~
It actually only takes another half hour for the latecomers to finally show up, claiming bad traffic for the lateness. (Billy and Cassie exchange looks while Tommy makes kissing noises at the punch bowl.) Eli's dressed as a mummy, but he takes his mask off as he walks in, while Kate's dressed like a gladiator, plastic sword and all.
Teddy runs up to the two of them and stretches out his arms, making Kate leap back in surprise, holding her sword like she's about to strike.
"Jesus, Teddy, what--" she starts before Eli interrupts with, "Maleficent, right?"
Everyone stares, including Teddy, until Eli demands they explain why they're looking at him so weird. Teddy leaps at him and buries his face into his shoulder, letting out what may or may not be a happy sob or two. Eli looks panicked and glances at Billy over Teddy's shoulder, mouthing, 'What did I say?'
Billy takes a minute or two to finish laughing with the others before prying his boyfriend away from Eli and leading him back to the couch so they can start the movie, smiling as Teddy babbles on about how he knew someone would appreciate his costume.
~
They settle around the TV for a zombie movie marathon, starting with 28 Days Later. They make it through Army of Darkness and part of Dawn of the Dead before people start either nodding off or declaring that their parents expect them home.
Cassie has the earliest curfew, and Vision offers to escort her home. Though he lives at the Bishop Publishing building, everyone expects he'll stay at Cassie's for the night. Halfway through Zombieland, Eli takes a glance at his phone and curses, because he's got about twenty minutes before he promised his grandma he'd be home. Kate offers to give him a ride home, despite having another two hours before she's expected back. Soon, it's just Teddy, Billy, a semi-conscious Tommy, and his punch bowl, all draped across the couch watching as Tallahassee finally gets his twinkie.
Tommy is thoroughly drunk on jungle juice and grumbles about meeting banana-shaped aliens before passing out again. Teddy's removed his horns -- hat-- thing and is still massaging Billy's thigh as the credits start rolling.
"Hey," Billy whispers down at him. Teddy looks up and grins.
"Hey."
Tommy, Vision and Teddy have been living as unofficial roommates in the Bishop Publishing building since the Kree/Skrull conflict that left Teddy as an emancipated minor, Tommy as a busted out runaway, and Vision as... well, Vision. Billy's parents had been dubious about letting two boys -- one of whom was dating their son and the other who was likely the spiritual twin of their son -- and a robot live alone in an abandoned warehouse. But Kate managed to get a large portion of her father's money directed toward fixing up and refurnishing the building, so it was less like letting them live in an old, empty depot and more like them living in a very large flat.
Billy's gotten permission to stay over for the night, on the condition that if there is any superhero business he come home immediately after instead, and with everyone but Tommy gone, he has his mind set on getting Teddy out of that ridiculous costume. From the smile on Teddy's face, he has similar plans.
~
Thoroughly exhausted and tucked under Teddy's sheets, pieces of their costumes scattered all over the floor, Billy decides this year's Halloween is a success.