Comments | oceansex: [fic post] Blame

oceansex

[fic post] Blame

Apr 17, 2009 00:34

Title: Blame
Rating: G
Genre: Angst/Downer
Pairings or Characters: Tamaki/Haruhi, Host Club
Warnings: not a happy fic.
Word Count: 933
Summary: The funny thing is, she doesn't so much mind the dreams, because at least she gets a chance to say it to him instead of just an empty room.
Author Notes: Wrote this up in the last half hour. I'm not having ( Read more... )

ouran, !fic, pairing -- tamaki/haruhi, rating -- [g]

Comments 15

surmise April 17 2009, 06:40:33 UTC

Before I read:

Feel better, bb ;-; ♥

--- T______T So sad, and completely well written. I love the dream sequence..

oceansex April 17 2009, 18:07:37 UTC

I feel a little better. still feel useless/stupid, but better. ♥

thank you bb. I'm not great at more abstract writing, like how dreams are usually written, so I'm glad you liked it. ♥

surmise April 18 2009, 02:34:23 UTC

You shouldn't feel like that, it's unbecoming of you T__T <33 -- But I'm glad you feel better!

It was perfect~ I don't think there is a way of writing dreams, specifically, so this was as good as it gets ;]

(The comment has been removed)

oceansex April 17 2009, 18:07:59 UTC

thank you. I think I got most of my sad out with this. ♥

cascadingiris April 17 2009, 19:23:06 UTC

Absolutely lovely! Such angst! It was extremely well written. ♥

oceansex April 17 2009, 19:29:12 UTC

thank you very much ♥

cascadingiris April 17 2009, 19:30:40 UTC

I've friended your journal--hope that's okay. I wanted to message you, but you've disabled messages from those your don't list as friends.

oceansex April 17 2009, 20:21:45 UTC

perfectly fine! mind if I friend you back? (always love making new friends. ♥)

Thread 5

peekaydee April 17 2009, 19:35:04 UTC

i love you.

i really do. i'm always here for you reveychu. i don't like it when you're sad so please be happy ;;

oceansex April 17 2009, 20:24:33 UTC

I love you, too.

you've already helped me more than you know. ♥

peekaydee April 18 2009, 23:13:04 UTC

i love you more :[

hfdjhgflgldhs; /RAPE

oceansex April 19 2009, 01:38:47 UTC

no, ilu moar. trufax. lolol not this again XD

can't rape the willing bb. SO HA. /rapes back

treeflamingo April 19 2009, 12:30:36 UTC

Wow. That... yeah, that was a downer. Allow me to congratulate you on a piece of unabashed angst that gracefully avoids being adolescent and whiny. What I appreciate about using a dream sequence to tell this story is that it allows for unreliability on the part of the narrator; you have no idea if all this blame and guilt, all these fingers being aimed at Haruhi are real, or just facets of her own unhappiness.

Also, congratulations on effectively using present tense. It is exceptionally well executed here, and adds to the angst in a wonderfully subtle manner.

I always look for concrit to give people, and I have two points for you. Point 1: you may want to try looking for smoother ways to transition between some of the scenes in the dream; some of the transitions are kind of... short. The transition between "Twins" and "Carriage" is excellent (excellent), but between "HunnyMori" and "Twins" is abrupt. Therein lies the difficulty of dream sequences, I think - dreams are such wishy washy, subjective things. It's hard to make them ( ... )

oceansex April 20 2009, 01:45:08 UTC

thank you for your comment! as always, reading what you've written for me has brought a big smile to my face! I'm happy to announce that I'm feeling far less depressed than I did when I wrote this. XD ( ... )