Comments | oceansex: [fic post] The Days Go By Oh So Slow

oceansex

[fic post] The Days Go By Oh So Slow

Nov 18, 2008 14:23

Written for challenge 19 over at ouran_contest.

Title: The Days Go By Oh So Slow
Rating: G
Genre: General
Pairings or Characters: Host Club (one-sided MoriHaru if you squint)
Warnings: none
Word Count: 561
Summary: Haruhi has trouble being patient, and surprisingly, the Host Club has trouble helping her waste time.
Author Notes: This is my first Ouran fic, so ( Read more... )

ouran, pairing -- mori/haruhi, !fic, rating -- [g], contest entry

Comments 11

arthoniel November 19 2008, 00:57:32 UTC

Ooh, very nice!! Especially for a first-time fic... I think you got them all down really perfectly! :D

oceansex November 19 2008, 02:15:51 UTC

waaah, thank you! @__@ <3

elisabell_angel November 19 2008, 01:31:43 UTC

Wow.... This makes me thankfull that in canon Hani and Mori will never graduate ^^.

oceansex November 19 2008, 02:16:44 UTC

me, too! the thought of them graduating is so sad. ;_; I never want to lose Mori-sempai! ):

treeflamingo November 19 2008, 14:50:06 UTC

You know, that's an interesting point. Mori and Haruhi are very detail-oriented about each other, aren't they? Mori was the only one to think of bribing her with ootoro; Haruhi was the only one to figure out how worried he was when Hunny was lost in the water park, to figure out that he needed company. I bet he would have that kind of subtle influence over her, to be able to correct her quietly, and have his words change they very way she thinks, without ever forcing an admission to anything at all. That;s a really interesting dynamic to insert into the way I view these characters. Thank you.

Now, I have a piece of concrit. This is something a writing teacher told me at some point in the misty past: cut the word "seem" from your vocabulary. Don't use a simple simile when a powerful metaphor is available. Ask yourself, "How was it really? How was it really for my character?" Very little ever "seems" in stories; things are, and things are perceived. Part of the fun of being a reader is getting to titter behind our hands when ( ... )

oceansex November 19 2008, 17:37:12 UTC

I'm glad I showed you something new! While I know a relationship between Mori and Haruhi in canon will never happen, I still find their relationship interesting for that reason. They just seem so in tune with each other, so I've always tended to think of them as very close, even if (unfortunately) not romantically.

And thank you, thank you! I really appreciate your crit. I just inserted the word "seem" in there without really thinking about it, but you make a great point. I'll be sure to drop it from my storytelling vocab as best I can.

darkflame_dragn November 20 2008, 19:46:58 UTC

Congrats on your first Ouran fanfic! ^^ I like how you've captured a piece of Haruhi we normally don't see as she frets so little over almost everything. A nice read. Thanks for sharing.

oceansex December 1 2008, 03:08:36 UTC

Haha, thank you. x) I'm glad this didn't seem out of character (I originally had a few worries about that), but I've always thought she must have had a side like this to her that we aren't ever shown. I'm happy you enjoyed it!

hooves February 2 2009, 05:13:25 UTC

[Putters in last]

I have no Ouran icon at the moment (working on that, I swear!) to put here, so...generic any-fandom-goes icon instead? Haha.

Anyway, you seem to like Mori and Haruhi, so I'm interested in reading this. They're both such interesting characters. I only hope that I can pull them off. Anyway, I'm going to read and try to leave you intelligent feedback. (Your journal's format is hard for me to read (tiny font), so sorry for any spelling errors or anything.)

the slowness of just getting there eats away at her so badly she can’t think to appreciate it.

Amen to that! I understand that feeling completely. I'm sure we've all been there a time or two...or ten. ;) If not more! Right now for me... My job ends in April. I'll be out of a job at the beginning of April. A part of me wants time to slow down because I need money to pay my bills but another part of me is glad to be laid off because I can find a job I might like better, even if it doesn't pay as well. Plus, haha, I can try my hand at writing original things, maybe. ( ... )

oceansex February 2 2009, 17:35:52 UTC

I don't know why I love MoriHaru so much, but I suppose it's my own preference of tall-dark-and-silent guys influencing my shipping, lol. They have some cute moments together, too, so it's not like it's impossible... Well, a girl can dream ( ... )

hooves February 2 2009, 18:09:09 UTC

Hell yes a girl can dream! Actually, one of my Ouran buddies (who is also a Rose of Versailles buddy) prefers Mori/Haruhi over all of Haruhi's other possible pairings. Also, I like tall dark-haired, dark-eyed men myself. Being blonde myself I'm not generally attracted to blond men (in anime or otherwise), so...yeah. But Tamaki is special, I guess. His personality is win.

I'm always looking forward to the next vacation, so I understand. Time off is so...nice. Relaxing. (I almost said "refreshing"!)

I love it when lines just come to you. I wish that happened to me several times a day. =P I'd never stop writing. (Well, Carpal Tunnel Syndrome tends to stop me, but so long as it doesn't act up, I could be unstoppable!)

And I'm glad you like my little reviews! =] Mind you friending me? Of course not! I'm absolutely honored, and I friended you back! ♥