Shouldn't I be more excited to go back to college?
Christmas Break was wonderful. Well, except for the airline trouble at least. I loved seeing everyone, I've missed home friends a lot. I was talking to Emily's mom briefly and I was telling her I wished that break wasn't as fun as it was so I would be more excited to go back to school. But being home would get really old really fast and nothing would be changing, plus everyone else would be back at their colleges. I really do love SHC. It is a beautiful campus, a good education, and some great people. It's always hard to start over again. I hate that everytime I am happy with my life and my friends I have to start over. College is a new experience and one I really looked forward too. I just hate having to say goodbye to people and start new friendships. It is always great making new friends, the more the merrier, I've just had to do it enough in my life already. I am in a blah mood I guess, I don't mean to sound whiny. I have already made some friends that I can see as lasting friendships, it's still too soon to tell though. I hate the uncertainty of new friends, I am a very trusting person, sometimes too trusting and I've been trying to be a little less lately. I like the comfort of home. I like being able to escape and be by myself. I'm very social but I appreciate alone time as well. I need to find something at college to feel passionate about. I don't do sports or ride anymore so there is a void. That is one reason why I am excited about rush and maybe being in a sororiety, maybe it will help me feel involved. My grades were really good this semester and I am proud of that, but I had no math or science classes which are my weaknesses. I had all core classes. This semester may be a little more difficult for me. I know that this semester will fly by. I am very much looking forward to Mardi Gras and Spring Break in Miami. I keep thinking about Fuller a lot, this year is one of the first years where I really have genuinely missed it and yearned for summer. It takes me a while to really adjust to a new place and actually like it. I did really love SHC for about the first two months but then I wasn't enjoying myself as much, I can't really explain why because I don't really know. I started reminiscing about moving to AL and all the negative feelings about being in a new place, feeling uncomfortable and insecure. It took me about a year to feel really adjusted to my new life in Dothan, maybe that's long to some people but that is how I work. So I guess once this semester of school is over I will feel much more adjusted. I really have had some great times this past semester. Times that I wouldn't trade. I just hate that uncomfortableness of change looming over me. Writing this has actually made me feel more excited to go back. I loved all the happy new years' calls and texts, expecially from SHC people. Home was good but it is time to go back to my other life. The life which is new and full of many surprises, hopefully mainly good surprises.