(no subject)
I have been in an overall good mood lately. I've felt like me lately if that makes any sense. I guess that is because I'm at college so I plan out everything for myself and I'm doing everything independently; so it all comes down to me. Half of a tree fell down last night and it almost killed Jessica, she was talking on her cell-phone right near where it fell. I love my theology class, it is really interesting and I am focused the entire class. The rest of my classes are going fine too. I don't have education tomorrow so Ashley and I are going to work out. I ran 2 miles, did an ab work-out, and lifted weights on the machines this afternoon. For my english class we are having a mock trial and my group has to defend Medea for killing her own children. I so wish I could've been on the prosecution, that would've been so much easier. Last night I went with Ashley to eat with her family. It was nice to eat a homecooked meal. I really like her family because they are unique and they are themselves, I hate when people act fake just because they have a guest in their home and her family is so down to earth. I had a voice-mail today from a guy friend of mine asking me if I'd like to get together and hang out sometime. I called him back; I don't know exactly what this means but I'm supposed to call him tomorrow after class and we're going to do something. I'm viewing this as a friendship thing, cuz that's all I want and I hope that's what he meant.
Jeffrey called me and left me a message telling me he is going to Tallahasee for 6 weeks and then he said we needed to discuss some things. So I called him and we talked and I cried. I friggen hate this, I hate how I feel about this. I don't want to say goodbye and let go. I guess in my own naive way I thought that when I came home during breaks and holidays everything would be as it was. When I left this summer I thought that would be the first step to being without him, I really expected that when I came home we weren't going to be together. But that isn't what happened; he told me he loved me. Don't get me wrong, I was ecstatic, because I love him too. I think that is why when I left for college deep down inside I had this hope that it wasn't really goodbye. I almost wish that things had ended badly and he had been a jerk so I could say that I am better off without him but thats not the case. It really is time to say goodbye because he is about to start his manager in training and they may send him far away and I am starting my life at college. He tells me that saying goodbye to someone you love is something everyone needs to go through and I agree but I don't want to say goodbye when being with him makes me so happy. I am scared that I won't meet anyone that makes me feel the way that he does. Also, right now I don't want anyone else, all I want is him. I don't want to sound needy or like I am complaining, this is just how I feel.
I talked to Ryan today and he said he's having a party Friday so I guess that is another reason to come home. Also, Emily is coming home from school, I would like to see Melissa, my Mom got really excited when I said I might come home, and I need to get some more things for my dorm. I would like to see Jeffrey as well but I'm still contemplating on whether or not that is the best idea. If I do go home I don't think I'll be able to not see him.
I keep having to re-hang stuff in my room because the 3M tape isn't holding it up. Sara came over and helped me hang it tonight so I'm hoping they will stay up now. I love a lot of the girls on my hall. If there is something fun going on this weekend with the friends I've made so far since being at college then I may not go home. I need to go read St.Augustine's Confessions for theology. Then I need to get some sleep but I'm not tired, so hopefully later I will be tired.
Jeffrey called me and left me a message telling me he is going to Tallahasee for 6 weeks and then he said we needed to discuss some things. So I called him and we talked and I cried. I friggen hate this, I hate how I feel about this. I don't want to say goodbye and let go. I guess in my own naive way I thought that when I came home during breaks and holidays everything would be as it was. When I left this summer I thought that would be the first step to being without him, I really expected that when I came home we weren't going to be together. But that isn't what happened; he told me he loved me. Don't get me wrong, I was ecstatic, because I love him too. I think that is why when I left for college deep down inside I had this hope that it wasn't really goodbye. I almost wish that things had ended badly and he had been a jerk so I could say that I am better off without him but thats not the case. It really is time to say goodbye because he is about to start his manager in training and they may send him far away and I am starting my life at college. He tells me that saying goodbye to someone you love is something everyone needs to go through and I agree but I don't want to say goodbye when being with him makes me so happy. I am scared that I won't meet anyone that makes me feel the way that he does. Also, right now I don't want anyone else, all I want is him. I don't want to sound needy or like I am complaining, this is just how I feel.
I talked to Ryan today and he said he's having a party Friday so I guess that is another reason to come home. Also, Emily is coming home from school, I would like to see Melissa, my Mom got really excited when I said I might come home, and I need to get some more things for my dorm. I would like to see Jeffrey as well but I'm still contemplating on whether or not that is the best idea. If I do go home I don't think I'll be able to not see him.
I keep having to re-hang stuff in my room because the 3M tape isn't holding it up. Sara came over and helped me hang it tonight so I'm hoping they will stay up now. I love a lot of the girls on my hall. If there is something fun going on this weekend with the friends I've made so far since being at college then I may not go home. I need to go read St.Augustine's Confessions for theology. Then I need to get some sleep but I'm not tired, so hopefully later I will be tired.