(no subject)
Today, I stepped on the scale just like I do obsessively every morning, and was shown a number that means I've reached my first goal! I've lost 10% of my original body weight! Not 10% of my goal total weight loss, but 10% of my body is gone! Vanished! w00t! Tres happy. When I lose 20% of my body, I'll buy myself a new lululemon hoodie. My mom keeps telling me that it's better to celebrate victories with a material item, rather than with food. I have no problem buying things for myself. I want to get to a certain weight (which is 35 pounds away) before my cousin's wedding in August, because I am not having my pictures taken looking like a pale blimp. When (not if!) I reach that, I want to lose more weight after that.
So today, I rock.
For the most part, except that week and a half hat I was studying for finals, Nath and I have stuck to our 4 days a week at the gym since New Years.
But, aside from that small victory, life has been a little bleak. Nath and I are supposed to be moving into our new house Friday through Monday, but those just happen to be the days that my 12 hour shifts at the hospital start on. That's a little stressful right there, especially since we only have one car right now (our new one) and the transit system in Kelowna is crap and you can't take the bus anywhere! ARGH. This majorly sucks. Also, we won't have any couches or a bed or a kitchen table because we haven't bought any of that stuff for ourselves yet. That will be a lot of money that could be much better spent on myself. Oh well. Hopefully everything will turn out alright in the end; I'm so glad to have Nathan to calm me down when I get crazy. We compliment each other so well; he's practical, I'm...not, he's calm, I'm crazy, I cook, he makes sandwiches (haha). You get the picture.
*sigh*
I almost spilt a water bottle on my laptop, but thanks to my cat-like reflexes, I caught it. *insert sarcasm here*
I have to buy a new shower curtain cuz ours is turning a weird color thanks to my Lush bath-bombs. I forgot what color our new bathroom is though, and I can't (and I won't) buy a new shower curtain until I can be sure that it matches the decor.
Oh, I'm starting my month-long unpaid summer clinical at the hospital. I'm on oncology again, like I was in 1st semester. I am not happy about this. I don't like working on oncology, it's depressing. I have a hard time being a nurse to dying people, I want everyone to get better and for there to be no hurt in the world. It's frustrating because I don't feel like I'm actually doing anything. I try to use my spare time to talk to people, not deep conversation about the meaning of death etc, but more just to talk about things. I love to hear about what older people have done with their lives. A lot of nurses don't have time for this kind of thing, which is the shitty reality of modern health care. I bought a Sponge-bob Squarepants scrub top. It makes me happy, and possibly look more cheerful than I sometimes feel. I am SO looking forward to night shifts... 7pm-7am. Does it get any better than that? Nope. As much as I bitch about not liking oncology, I love what I do. Sometimes I think that I get just as much out of nurse-patient relationships as the patient does; it provides me with some weird sense of validation that I'm a good, kind, and caring person - something I've never heard from anyone else besides my patients (and Nathan, who thinks I'm lovely just the way I am). My patients thank me all the time for being caring, and for listening to them. Is it because they're in a position of lesser control than they're used to, or is there a nice person buried underneath my sarcastic, bitch shell?
Who knows?