Fears, Band, and School
Realized I should really start updating people on my life. xD;
Uh...Let's see... Guard/band's going well, I guess. We only have 3 more big shows to do, thank God.
I finally decided this was going to be my last year. That's just really nothing worth enough to do it again, if that made sense. I mean... Jill's graduating, so I don't really have a reason to come back next year...
Granted, it'd be my senior year and all, but I dunno if I want to put up with all the drama and shit.
Maybe I'll join the actual band. I'll learn to play flute. Or just go into Pit and shake bells, or something. ^^;
uh... On that note- School! Classes for this Quarter:
1st Mod- Band Front
2nd Mod- Psychology
3rd Mod- Honors German 3
4th Mod- Biology
Speaking of German class, there's a trip to Germany going on, like...this summer, I think. So another reason I wouldn't be able to do Guard.
...Jealousy sucks. It really, really sucks to listen about how great someone is, from someone you really like. It makes me want to grab the speaker by the front of the shirt, kiss them and tell 'em to shut the eff up, because I don't care.
God, this hurts... Shit, I think I'm gonna cry... No, dammit!
....Anyways, I don't want to hear it. But I'll endure it. I'll sit there and smile, laugh and nod along to what you say, just so you won't know.
Except...you do know. It make it hurt more. Sometimes I think you've forgotten how much you mean to me. Sometimes I just wish it could work- but I know it never will. I'll admit it: I'm scared.
Scared that if we do go out, everything will change.
Scared that it won't be the same, and that this will end up like all my other relationships.
I'm too much of an Aries. I love the thrill of the chase. I want the other all to myself, but once I get them, I find that I don't want them anymore.
Then I let them go, but only want them back again. It sucks, and I hate it! Dammit!
Told you I made dinner plans
You and me and no one else
That don't include your crazy friends
Well I'm done
With awkward situation's empty conversations
Oh This is an S.O.S.
Don't wanna second guess,
This is the bottom line
It's true
I gave my all for you,
now my heart's in two
And I can't find the other half
It's like I'm walking on broken glass,
better believe I bled
It's a call I'll never get
Haha. Seems to sum it all up... I'm also scared of putting this up on LJ, 'cause I know they'll see it... and I don't want anything awkward between us. I don't want things to change... I'm also scared that... Once they leave, they'll forget all about me. That I'll never be someone special, someone that they'll remember.
Uh...Let's see... Guard/band's going well, I guess. We only have 3 more big shows to do, thank God.
I finally decided this was going to be my last year. That's just really nothing worth enough to do it again, if that made sense. I mean... Jill's graduating, so I don't really have a reason to come back next year...
Granted, it'd be my senior year and all, but I dunno if I want to put up with all the drama and shit.
Maybe I'll join the actual band. I'll learn to play flute. Or just go into Pit and shake bells, or something. ^^;
uh... On that note- School! Classes for this Quarter:
1st Mod- Band Front
2nd Mod- Psychology
3rd Mod- Honors German 3
4th Mod- Biology
Speaking of German class, there's a trip to Germany going on, like...this summer, I think. So another reason I wouldn't be able to do Guard.
...Jealousy sucks. It really, really sucks to listen about how great someone is, from someone you really like. It makes me want to grab the speaker by the front of the shirt, kiss them and tell 'em to shut the eff up, because I don't care.
God, this hurts... Shit, I think I'm gonna cry... No, dammit!
....Anyways, I don't want to hear it. But I'll endure it. I'll sit there and smile, laugh and nod along to what you say, just so you won't know.
Except...you do know. It make it hurt more. Sometimes I think you've forgotten how much you mean to me. Sometimes I just wish it could work- but I know it never will. I'll admit it: I'm scared.
Scared that if we do go out, everything will change.
Scared that it won't be the same, and that this will end up like all my other relationships.
I'm too much of an Aries. I love the thrill of the chase. I want the other all to myself, but once I get them, I find that I don't want them anymore.
Then I let them go, but only want them back again. It sucks, and I hate it! Dammit!
Told you I made dinner plans
You and me and no one else
That don't include your crazy friends
Well I'm done
With awkward situation's empty conversations
Oh This is an S.O.S.
Don't wanna second guess,
This is the bottom line
It's true
I gave my all for you,
now my heart's in two
And I can't find the other half
It's like I'm walking on broken glass,
better believe I bled
It's a call I'll never get
Haha. Seems to sum it all up... I'm also scared of putting this up on LJ, 'cause I know they'll see it... and I don't want anything awkward between us. I don't want things to change... I'm also scared that... Once they leave, they'll forget all about me. That I'll never be someone special, someone that they'll remember.