(no subject)
So...Thursday night...I had a little..'break down'...which I hadn't had since ohhh about December, so I was doing pretty good. But ya...my mom walked in on me, in the middle of my break down. and I snapped at her. I bitched at her, and I used my sarcasm skill and my attitude to the best of my ability. So she was hard core pissed at me. So ya...that sucked..I didn't get to sleep till late...Then I woke up at 330 to the stupid noises on my roof...so I got like...2 hours of sleep. Then Friday Morning I was telling Jess and Becky about my mom...and stuff...and my mom heard me talking about her, and she got pissed as all flippin hell. She took my car keys away...and she's like 'when you get home from school we're going to have a big talk' I'm like fucking wonderful. All during school I was debating whether or not to go home or not..but I wound up going...she didnt say anything to me, so im like ok, so i took a nap, i woke up at like 8..and everyone was gone, so im like uhhh ok, they all came home at like 10. my mom still woulnd't say anything to me, So Im like FUCK THIS, im going to get it over with, so I went into her room...and she layed into me...for about 20 minutes....I won't go into detail about what she said...because it was the usual. :| She didn't ground me or anything. She said...I don't want you dying your hair because you have beautiful hair and I don't want u to ruin it. im like mmmmk mom. then she's like and about you're computer. im like fine, fuckin take it...It keeps fucking me over anyway. The people on it too.
Anways...I am not doing ANYTHING that I had planned on doing this weekend. No show last night, no depressing winter formal tonite. I dunno if I'll go to Spinderson and RRSH tomorrow...Monday I supposabley have a stupid physical for soccer :( SUCKS!
But ya...I wrote a new song/poem thing...ya I know I've been writing alot and shit...and I don't know why I keep posting them...no one really says anything about them...but heh oh well...
Um...it's untitled...and I think it's something that a lot...or most people can relate too...If you can understand what the song means...well anyways here it is...oh ya and u can comment and tell me what I should have the title be...that'd be coooooolllllll.
I am only one person.
Tell me what you want from me.
And I can show you,
And make you can see,
That I am not what you want…or what you need.
Using pen and paper I sit and write,
I write to you saying you can do better.
This I know,…and to you I sing.
Signing my name with Xs and Os
I hope you understand why I write this letter.
I love you with all my heart,
This I promise you.
But time stops for no one.
I can not sit around and wait for you to come.
To come back to me, and make everything the way it was before.
I ask the Lord,
What am I to do?
I am torn between love and hurt.
Do I sit around, day and night,
Waiting for you to come back to me?
Or do I walk away from your light
Into the lonely darkness once again.
Where I slowly begin to pick the pieces of my heart off the ground.
You sit there, and watch me, not making a sound.
What do you want from me?
Do you want me to wait for you?
Just give me a sign, give me a clue.
Because I am lost, and not knowing what to do.
Even so, this is for the best.
Lets give this a rest.
I am not what you want…or what you need.
Open my letter and read,
I hope you understand why I write this letter.
It is all for the better.
Catch yall on the flip side....
Love..and hate...hurt..