That's a run on sentence.
So lately I've been cultivating this zen mindset that allows me to be magnificently sunburned and robbed and alone and without sympathy and incapable and belittled and unable to find a decent cup of coffee and losing my father to generic geriatric entropy and losing my mother to her godawful Buffalo relations/Bruce Springsteen and be more or less covered in gapingly horrible open sores that feel like a combination of wasps bites, jellyfish stings, mountain lion maulings and festering jungle rot.... and, fortyfive minutes after getting off a plane, discovering that Forrest is in the goddamn hospital again for no clear or conceivable reason and will remain equivalently so for the next, yknow, life or so... and still carry on, not exactly cheerfully, but with some semblance of self control.
I'm rather proud.
And, rererererealization: I never know what the fuck I'm doing. Is this normal? I don't know what I'm doing, and I don't even understand where this intuitive grasp of lifetheuniverseandeverything is supposed to come from.
No one tells you how to deal with these piles of twine. We don't have any moral guidelines in this society anymore, or rulebooks on how to establish standards- where to draw lines in the sand.
Intuitive: quantum mechanics, e.e. cummings, cultural and moral relativity.
Nonintuitive: bureaucracy. Being kept away from people you love for no goddamn reason.
The feeling of coming home to a sandwich and a reasonable cup of coffee and little or nothing else.
I'm rather proud.
And, rererererealization: I never know what the fuck I'm doing. Is this normal? I don't know what I'm doing, and I don't even understand where this intuitive grasp of lifetheuniverseandeverything is supposed to come from.
No one tells you how to deal with these piles of twine. We don't have any moral guidelines in this society anymore, or rulebooks on how to establish standards- where to draw lines in the sand.
Intuitive: quantum mechanics, e.e. cummings, cultural and moral relativity.
Nonintuitive: bureaucracy. Being kept away from people you love for no goddamn reason.
The feeling of coming home to a sandwich and a reasonable cup of coffee and little or nothing else.