2005-04-29 - Waiting
It wasn't long ago that you came to visit. I was ecstatic to see you.
Looking back, it feels like it's been an eternity in waiting.
The electricity we had built before you left
Was fresh in my memory,
And I longed to feel it again.
I wanted to hear the lilt of your laugh and see the joy in your smile.
I wanted to feel the warmth of your embrace.
The softness of your perfect skin.
But instead of reviewing old days with beer and laughter,
I held you and wiped away your tears.
Instead of teasing me with reminders of how green things are in the north,
You told me exactly how long those cold, dark nights last.
It became clear that you weren't happy,
And that you wouldn't be happy, in that foreign place,
Where the only friend you know is abuse.
I want to be your gallant knight.
I want to rescue you from this nightmare.
I want to steal you back, wrap you in a fluffy blanket,
And promise everything will be okay.
I want to bring you breakfast in bed,
And watch cartoons with you late Sunday morning.
I wanted to make you happy,
But you cut the stem before bloom,
And I supported your decision to move away.
Here’s your chance to come back,
But you tell me that you love me,
And you ask me to wait.
The sun and moon gracefully trade places,
Until I lose count of passing days.
I could feel the distance grow,
And I finally gave up hope
When you stopped calling.
I know that every moment I spend waiting,
You’re giving yourself to him.
Don’t you understand that it tears me apart?
I cannot wait for you anymore,
And now you say you're heartbroken.
What have I given you but patience, love, and loyalty -
What have you responded with but uncertainty and doubt?
I learned to see through empty words long ago,
And there’s no doubt now
That love is just a nice thought
Whose idealism cannot endure reality.
Looking back, it feels like it's been an eternity in waiting.
The electricity we had built before you left
Was fresh in my memory,
And I longed to feel it again.
I wanted to hear the lilt of your laugh and see the joy in your smile.
I wanted to feel the warmth of your embrace.
The softness of your perfect skin.
But instead of reviewing old days with beer and laughter,
I held you and wiped away your tears.
Instead of teasing me with reminders of how green things are in the north,
You told me exactly how long those cold, dark nights last.
It became clear that you weren't happy,
And that you wouldn't be happy, in that foreign place,
Where the only friend you know is abuse.
I want to be your gallant knight.
I want to rescue you from this nightmare.
I want to steal you back, wrap you in a fluffy blanket,
And promise everything will be okay.
I want to bring you breakfast in bed,
And watch cartoons with you late Sunday morning.
I wanted to make you happy,
But you cut the stem before bloom,
And I supported your decision to move away.
Here’s your chance to come back,
But you tell me that you love me,
And you ask me to wait.
The sun and moon gracefully trade places,
Until I lose count of passing days.
I could feel the distance grow,
And I finally gave up hope
When you stopped calling.
I know that every moment I spend waiting,
You’re giving yourself to him.
Don’t you understand that it tears me apart?
I cannot wait for you anymore,
And now you say you're heartbroken.
What have I given you but patience, love, and loyalty -
What have you responded with but uncertainty and doubt?
I learned to see through empty words long ago,
And there’s no doubt now
That love is just a nice thought
Whose idealism cannot endure reality.