(no subject)
unfortunately, my life is going as I once planned. all the hopes and dreams that I once had for my future have been blown away. I've destroyed any chance I had. 2008 almost killed me. I almost wish it had. I'm not sure what I was thinking the whole time, as I was throwing away everything I had. I don't regret it as much as I wish the outcome would have been different. this time last year I had it all, and now I'm left with nothing. I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with it, now that I know what has become of it. I'm scared. I've been making decisions that even I know are wrong, yet somehow I can't stop. I even stopped writing it all in here, because I didn't want to have to remember. tough shit.