(no subject)
I know it's fast becoming a cliche, but I've been left to my own devices, and been thinking too damn much again. In any event, I can't help but reflect on what my life has amounted to. I'm alive today because of the grace and mercy of two sisters who I encountered in a rather complicated way. Is it a saving grace I deserve, though? Have I accomplised anything with the renewed chance given me? The only thing I have to be proud of has little at all to do with me. People often tell me how intelligent I am, how much potential I have. I've all but squandered that potential, and am now just.....mediocre in every sense of the word. Great things? I'd be dead long ago save for Suzanne, and dead now save for my Elizabeth. Two sisters, they've given me so much, but what have I done with it? The only thing worthwhile about myself is my love for my angel. The only thing special about me is what I share with her. Me, myself, on my own? Mediocre, like I said. I have nothing to show for myself even after being saved. Why does she persist? Why does she continually fight for an exsistence that will be forgotten almost as soon as it's extinguished? I live only for another. That kind of fragility is disheartening, believe me I know. I'm not special, whatever potential I may or may not have had. Just another name. Just another face. Why does she still care? Why do I?