I need to remember his face. I need to.
Maybe writing what I remember could help me remember his face?
February 3rd, 2007
I was wearing jeans, my marching band sweatshirt, my orange and black jester hat (marching band related) and my dad's old green raincoat.
My whole family, minus my older brother, went to my little sister's basketball game. I can't remember any details from the game. But I do remember exiting the school where they had it.
I wanted to go to lunch at the Black Bear Diner. My parents didn't really want to, but we did anyway. While we ate, we remembered that their lunch food was bad, unlike their breakfast food.
My dad left the diner early. I can't remember why. The rest of us stayed a little longer. Then we left for Safeway to stock up on groceries.
The moment I walked in there, chills literally went up my spine. The whole store had a different feel. It didn't feel safe.
I went off alone to get a couple boxes of Pocky.
I got the Pocky. I ran into Adam and his friends. He introduced me. One of them asked for a hug.
It happened.
I pushed and he let go when he wanted to let go. They walked away laughing. I watched for a moment and ran in the opposite direction.
I searched all over the place for my mom and siblings. I looked in every aisle and they weren't there.
I looked over my shoulder over and over again. I kept asking myself "What just happened?" "Did that just happen?"
I found my mom, little brother, and sister. I didn't want to be recognized. I took off my hat and coat.
I asked if they were ready to go. I asked repeatedly. They weren't. My mom asked why I seemed so jittery. I said I'll tell her in the car.
Our cart was over flowing when we paid. I just wanted out of there.
In the parking lot, I saw them again. I heard "I'm not getting in the car with you, you're drunk!"
My mom asked me to put the cart away. I didn't want to. I really didn't want to. So I hurried.
Adam waved at me. That same group of friends with him. I ran into the car.
I told my mom and siblings what happened. My mom said she would have hurried in the store if I told her earlier. Or have hunted him down in the store and given him hell.
I wanted to go to the police. Mom said they would think of it as nothing more than "Boys Will Be Boys" because it wasn't rape. So we didn't.
We went home. I washed my jeans. Took a shower. I know for rape you're not supposed to. But it's not like any evidence of his hand could be left on my jeans, right?
My mom told my dad the next day. I don't know why I felt so uncomfortable talking to him about it. He said he would have hunted the guy down and killed him.
I hate my memory. What reason would my mind have for blocking out this guy's face, anyway?
February 3rd, 2007
I was wearing jeans, my marching band sweatshirt, my orange and black jester hat (marching band related) and my dad's old green raincoat.
My whole family, minus my older brother, went to my little sister's basketball game. I can't remember any details from the game. But I do remember exiting the school where they had it.
I wanted to go to lunch at the Black Bear Diner. My parents didn't really want to, but we did anyway. While we ate, we remembered that their lunch food was bad, unlike their breakfast food.
My dad left the diner early. I can't remember why. The rest of us stayed a little longer. Then we left for Safeway to stock up on groceries.
The moment I walked in there, chills literally went up my spine. The whole store had a different feel. It didn't feel safe.
I went off alone to get a couple boxes of Pocky.
I got the Pocky. I ran into Adam and his friends. He introduced me. One of them asked for a hug.
It happened.
I pushed and he let go when he wanted to let go. They walked away laughing. I watched for a moment and ran in the opposite direction.
I searched all over the place for my mom and siblings. I looked in every aisle and they weren't there.
I looked over my shoulder over and over again. I kept asking myself "What just happened?" "Did that just happen?"
I found my mom, little brother, and sister. I didn't want to be recognized. I took off my hat and coat.
I asked if they were ready to go. I asked repeatedly. They weren't. My mom asked why I seemed so jittery. I said I'll tell her in the car.
Our cart was over flowing when we paid. I just wanted out of there.
In the parking lot, I saw them again. I heard "I'm not getting in the car with you, you're drunk!"
My mom asked me to put the cart away. I didn't want to. I really didn't want to. So I hurried.
Adam waved at me. That same group of friends with him. I ran into the car.
I told my mom and siblings what happened. My mom said she would have hurried in the store if I told her earlier. Or have hunted him down in the store and given him hell.
I wanted to go to the police. Mom said they would think of it as nothing more than "Boys Will Be Boys" because it wasn't rape. So we didn't.
We went home. I washed my jeans. Took a shower. I know for rape you're not supposed to. But it's not like any evidence of his hand could be left on my jeans, right?
My mom told my dad the next day. I don't know why I felt so uncomfortable talking to him about it. He said he would have hunted the guy down and killed him.
I hate my memory. What reason would my mind have for blocking out this guy's face, anyway?