The saga of useless information continues....
Meme snatched from Sappho-pon in my further attempts to push things off into cheery-happy-bunny land.
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10 things you want to say to people. NO NAMES.
1) You ARE significant to me, I just can't ever tell you why because too much information is involved in the comparison.
2) Do you think I want a double life? I can't get you involved in this. It would make everything clear, and you'd understand, but...it would hurt, and besides, it's been too long anyway. What right do I have to dredge things up now?
3) I do like people. Just the "wrong" ones, which is why I say I don't. There are just so many wrong ones in your eyes. I don't even have to like many of them to just coincidentally run into the wrong ones, because relaly nobody will be good enough for your little girl...
4) You're not alone, and I don't intend to let you mess up yourself for attention, because you're not going to lose mine anyway, no matter where things go. I just suck at saying so.
5) You can't carry a chip on your shoulder for everything. Even if people step on you, it's sometimes better than stepping on them, and it's preventable for future times. You never take things the same way twice, and sometimes you have to win people over by taking what they dish out so you can be there to help them when they need it--most other people won't be, and those are the people who need it the most.
6) Why do I have to watch everything I say to be sure I don't say something 'accidentally' racist? If you could see how much I detest being white, then you'd know for certain that I'm bitterly envious, even when you give into dumb things to go along with what you're "supposed" to do.
7) I'm never going to be able to sit back and shout "damsel in distress!" to get men to help me. If you knew my background, you'd know why. It goes against every self-preservation instinct in me, not to mention, it's manipulation in my eyes. Maybe not to you, but I want to live my life being as useful as I can be. I don't have to be a man to open doors for people. I don't have to be a man to be good with my hands. I don't have to be a feminist to want that, and I don't have to be a bit of decorative fluff to get out of work. It's better that I know how to do what I need to.
8) I don't blame you for what you did to me. I blame you for what you did to her. Whether she's guiltless or not, you're still responsible for rising to it, in the name of personal honor or otherwise, and you should know better than to think honor is the way others perceive you, or to say that I'm just 'mean' for speaking this way. Honor is a personal thing, and if you go down in the dirt with dignity, you still have honor for not pulling another person down in the dirt with you, or further into the dirt to make yourself look better. To be a good person is not something up for majority-rule vote. It's internal, and when it's lost, or colored differently, that's that.
9) I remember. Even if you don't. And I can guess what happened. I'm not going to bring it up again, but I want you to make a clean slate in exchange. I have no right to ask that, and I might be too late anyway, but I want you to get over it like I did, and I want you to be better than the stimulus that made you do what you did.
10) You were my best friend. Why is it I never realized how shallow some of these things were until you said I MIGHT be invited to your "super-cool masquerade ball" and I realized I'd been excluded until I praised you enough?
NINE things about yourself:
1) Blond
2) Curly
3) Overall weird and-yet-somehow-desirable hair
4) too-large clothes
5) bad skin
6) extravagant flailing gestures
7) Weird art
8) Weird fics
9) Sings (badly) in the car to stay awake. Usually in harmony.
EIGHT ways to win your heart:
(Uh?)
I...draw a blank here. I'm really not sure how to respond, because I can't figure it out myself. I usually just like people and that's that. If I DON'T like people I work at it until things click. Usually people don't like ME, not the other way around. There are things that annoy me, but I try to deal with them rather than just throwing up my hands. *shrug* I just like people.
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:
1) "That's the question isn't it?"
2) "And this becomes difficult..."
3) "Maybe they'll come on later. I should stick around."
4) 'This is going to be exceptional fun..."
5) "I should try to cheer them up..."
6) "Hee...~<3"
7) "huh. Maybe I should get some food/sleep/use the bathroom instead of sticking around..."
SIX things you do before you fall asleep:
1) Remove rattling wheels from the gerbil cage
2) Check that Kafka's not dead yet, that water levels are fine, and that there aren't any babies wandering around
3) Brush teeth and rinse off face and hands
4) Check that the alarm clock will actually go off at the proper time if needed
5) Pull off the jewelry and unnecessary things like T-shirts.
6) Write, write, write until the eyelids start to droop and the brain calms.
FIVE things that frustrate you:
1) People being cruel to one another.
2) People justifying that cruelty and refusing to change.
3) My inabilility to articulate my ideas well when not on paper.
4) My monolinguism.
5) My lack of responsibility.
FOUR things you love to do on rainy days:
1) Walk/dance in them.
2) Stare aimlessly out the window and watch it pour.
3) NOT strain my eyes outdoors for once.
4) Read in the carport with the rain pouring all around...
THREE biggest turn on's:
E-Eh? O_o
...I had to think about this longer than I'd like to admit...*turns red* (It's hard to find things the people I crush on have in common on the exterior...)
1) Nice eye-whites. (I'm not kidding...)
2) Insane creativity.
3) Weird sense of humor is always a plus.
TWO things you want to do before you die:
1) Make something meaningful, and/or beneficial to others.
2) Have a crapload of kids and teach them well in the ways of the darkside world
ONE confession:
1) I am not a man. (GASP!) I am in fact of the ladylike purusuasion, as evidenced by my ability to babble for long periods of time. (Hey! Stereotype police! Arrest that women! *carried away by an angry mob*)
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10 things you want to say to people. NO NAMES.
1) You ARE significant to me, I just can't ever tell you why because too much information is involved in the comparison.
2) Do you think I want a double life? I can't get you involved in this. It would make everything clear, and you'd understand, but...it would hurt, and besides, it's been too long anyway. What right do I have to dredge things up now?
3) I do like people. Just the "wrong" ones, which is why I say I don't. There are just so many wrong ones in your eyes. I don't even have to like many of them to just coincidentally run into the wrong ones, because relaly nobody will be good enough for your little girl...
4) You're not alone, and I don't intend to let you mess up yourself for attention, because you're not going to lose mine anyway, no matter where things go. I just suck at saying so.
5) You can't carry a chip on your shoulder for everything. Even if people step on you, it's sometimes better than stepping on them, and it's preventable for future times. You never take things the same way twice, and sometimes you have to win people over by taking what they dish out so you can be there to help them when they need it--most other people won't be, and those are the people who need it the most.
6) Why do I have to watch everything I say to be sure I don't say something 'accidentally' racist? If you could see how much I detest being white, then you'd know for certain that I'm bitterly envious, even when you give into dumb things to go along with what you're "supposed" to do.
7) I'm never going to be able to sit back and shout "damsel in distress!" to get men to help me. If you knew my background, you'd know why. It goes against every self-preservation instinct in me, not to mention, it's manipulation in my eyes. Maybe not to you, but I want to live my life being as useful as I can be. I don't have to be a man to open doors for people. I don't have to be a man to be good with my hands. I don't have to be a feminist to want that, and I don't have to be a bit of decorative fluff to get out of work. It's better that I know how to do what I need to.
8) I don't blame you for what you did to me. I blame you for what you did to her. Whether she's guiltless or not, you're still responsible for rising to it, in the name of personal honor or otherwise, and you should know better than to think honor is the way others perceive you, or to say that I'm just 'mean' for speaking this way. Honor is a personal thing, and if you go down in the dirt with dignity, you still have honor for not pulling another person down in the dirt with you, or further into the dirt to make yourself look better. To be a good person is not something up for majority-rule vote. It's internal, and when it's lost, or colored differently, that's that.
9) I remember. Even if you don't. And I can guess what happened. I'm not going to bring it up again, but I want you to make a clean slate in exchange. I have no right to ask that, and I might be too late anyway, but I want you to get over it like I did, and I want you to be better than the stimulus that made you do what you did.
10) You were my best friend. Why is it I never realized how shallow some of these things were until you said I MIGHT be invited to your "super-cool masquerade ball" and I realized I'd been excluded until I praised you enough?
NINE things about yourself:
1) Blond
2) Curly
3) Overall weird and-yet-somehow-desirable hair
4) too-large clothes
5) bad skin
6) extravagant flailing gestures
7) Weird art
8) Weird fics
9) Sings (badly) in the car to stay awake. Usually in harmony.
EIGHT ways to win your heart:
(Uh?)
I...draw a blank here. I'm really not sure how to respond, because I can't figure it out myself. I usually just like people and that's that. If I DON'T like people I work at it until things click. Usually people don't like ME, not the other way around. There are things that annoy me, but I try to deal with them rather than just throwing up my hands. *shrug* I just like people.
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:
1) "That's the question isn't it?"
2) "And this becomes difficult..."
3) "Maybe they'll come on later. I should stick around."
4) 'This is going to be exceptional fun..."
5) "I should try to cheer them up..."
6) "Hee...~<3"
7) "huh. Maybe I should get some food/sleep/use the bathroom instead of sticking around..."
SIX things you do before you fall asleep:
1) Remove rattling wheels from the gerbil cage
2) Check that Kafka's not dead yet, that water levels are fine, and that there aren't any babies wandering around
3) Brush teeth and rinse off face and hands
4) Check that the alarm clock will actually go off at the proper time if needed
5) Pull off the jewelry and unnecessary things like T-shirts.
6) Write, write, write until the eyelids start to droop and the brain calms.
FIVE things that frustrate you:
1) People being cruel to one another.
2) People justifying that cruelty and refusing to change.
3) My inabilility to articulate my ideas well when not on paper.
4) My monolinguism.
5) My lack of responsibility.
FOUR things you love to do on rainy days:
1) Walk/dance in them.
2) Stare aimlessly out the window and watch it pour.
3) NOT strain my eyes outdoors for once.
4) Read in the carport with the rain pouring all around...
THREE biggest turn on's:
E-Eh? O_o
...I had to think about this longer than I'd like to admit...*turns red* (It's hard to find things the people I crush on have in common on the exterior...)
1) Nice eye-whites. (I'm not kidding...)
2) Insane creativity.
3) Weird sense of humor is always a plus.
TWO things you want to do before you die:
1) Make something meaningful, and/or beneficial to others.
2) Have a crapload of kids and teach them well in the ways of the darkside world
ONE confession:
1) I am not a man. (GASP!) I am in fact of the ladylike purusuasion, as evidenced by my ability to babble for long periods of time. (Hey! Stereotype police! Arrest that women! *carried away by an angry mob*)