Satirical-Glum-Mellowness
I think I'm losing my mind. (Again.)
While this is probably the customary reaction of anyone sitting flat on their back for most of the weekend and watching the entire second season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (loaned to me by Lee and Tim as a sort of threatening payback for getting previously all-american people hooked on DeathNote...) I really could have done without the madness.
My head feels like it's been stuffed and mounted in the least sexual way possible. (Sorry if that phrase makes you spew your drink. I always feel I have to neauter things when I don't know if Nyami-chan might be around and might actually decide to stop by my journal and remove all my "evil-yami abandonment issues" by SPORFLing her way through an entry. Call me hopefully paranoid?)
I was having all sorts of weird thoughts while semi-conscious this morning, and now it's all been replaced by fuzz. (Which, as most of you know, typically belongs on the outside of my head.) Maybe I blew a fuze upstairs finally. Maybe it's just the weirdness of trying to explain fanon!Juvenile Orion to people when they're anti-manga and can't see how much I've put into it? Well I certainly don't know, but I can guess. I was having fabulous thoughts about dragoons, and songs, and harmonizations I'll never have the skill to play for a wonderful half-awake thirty minutes this morning, and now I can't remember a single detail, not to mention, I've lost quite a few of the vaguities as well...
Agh...
I hate it when I don't get a chance to write crap down.
I'm probably a mite crankier than usual. I'm usually fairly relaxed or...at least pretty easily distracted and amused. But losing ideas like that, and not having anyone come to the RPG games except Lee and Tim and maybe Alec, and then having my ideas not understood or trivialized (not that Tim means to) just doesn't make for a good starting point.
And...well...I had to drop my Poe class.
It wasn't that I didn't like it. (Though I'm surprisingly, not-so-fond of Poe) It was more that...there was an issue with someone in that class. A long-standing issue. Probably ancient by my standards. But...he never seems to fail to pop up in exactly the wrong place, and turn me into a gibbering, frightened moron. It's really not worth mentioning, I guess, less because it's a lame story (though it is--Do any of you go back and scoff at the narrative detail of your life? Because I do. I could write a better story than the one that's true about me.) and more because it never fails to put my mind in the wrong place, and start me stewing.
The LAST time, this happened, I got angry at Fox-sama. Probably almost a year ago, come to think of it. (I really don't get angry much on the internet... I'm usually really amused.) And now I've had to change the course of my future (pun unintended but graceful in its spare ironies) and I just can't seem to run into the proper... "mood alterer" should I say? That's probably not a term commonly applied to other people. (It makes them sound like some sort of illegal drug, for one...) But the alternative is getting stuck back in my own head again. No thank you. While I like having an over-active imagination as much as the next person, the next person typically hasn't spent several years there.
Ugh. I'm talking in roundabout vaguities everywhere now...
It...hasn't been a good week so far, I'd say. Nice little downward spin until I find the next proper momentary distraction...
And...You know it's a bad day when Oscar Wilde's immortal nemesis being trampled to death by PWNies doesn't cheer you up.
http://community.livejournal.com/capswilde/3563.html
I think I need some caffeine or something. This is clearly going to be a long day (the fact my classes still go until nine, notwithstanding)...but at least I don't have to deal with ONE thing anymore.
Things may just brighten up, but until then, I'm still terribly glum, and I know I'm not going ot get much of an outlet probably until Thursday at best.
...Not that that's going to stop me from grabbing myself a footlong sub momentarily, and scarfing it down, then going off to African American Literature in the hopes that maybe today we'll talk about something non-depressing. (Or something which doesn't make me look strange for being the palest kid in the class, coupled with a dutch last name...)
And hopefully, I won't get tentatively hit on by more people thinking I'm a lesbian.
I'm starting to feel bad about this...I think I'm up to two so far this semester, and maybe ONE before that. Not to mention half a dozen people who got confused and had to ask, while still trying to be all "it's okay that you're gay" while I'm going "huh? I'm not gay. I just have no fashion sense and I can't snag a guy to save my life due to timidity +5 about awkward girly feelings."
This...tends to lead to awkwardness in conversations.
This may also lead to a fear of rainbows in the near future on my part... (It's not like I have problems with people who are gay/lesbian/bi, it's just they always assume I am, too, and then when you get to religion they get REALLY confused about why I'm not beating them over the head with a tract or a holy tome...) I don't WANT to become paranoid!jumpy about people for the rest of my life, but it would be REALLY nice not to be confused for something I'm not just ONCE in my life...
Especially not when I have to deal with other such things which might make me snappish, introspective, or otherwise a great bearer of unnecessary information...
...Bright happy things around the horizon, I hope. (But hopefully not rainbows...*sigh*)
While this is probably the customary reaction of anyone sitting flat on their back for most of the weekend and watching the entire second season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (loaned to me by Lee and Tim as a sort of threatening payback for getting previously all-american people hooked on DeathNote...) I really could have done without the madness.
My head feels like it's been stuffed and mounted in the least sexual way possible. (Sorry if that phrase makes you spew your drink. I always feel I have to neauter things when I don't know if Nyami-chan might be around and might actually decide to stop by my journal and remove all my "evil-yami abandonment issues" by SPORFLing her way through an entry. Call me hopefully paranoid?)
I was having all sorts of weird thoughts while semi-conscious this morning, and now it's all been replaced by fuzz. (Which, as most of you know, typically belongs on the outside of my head.) Maybe I blew a fuze upstairs finally. Maybe it's just the weirdness of trying to explain fanon!Juvenile Orion to people when they're anti-manga and can't see how much I've put into it? Well I certainly don't know, but I can guess. I was having fabulous thoughts about dragoons, and songs, and harmonizations I'll never have the skill to play for a wonderful half-awake thirty minutes this morning, and now I can't remember a single detail, not to mention, I've lost quite a few of the vaguities as well...
Agh...
I hate it when I don't get a chance to write crap down.
I'm probably a mite crankier than usual. I'm usually fairly relaxed or...at least pretty easily distracted and amused. But losing ideas like that, and not having anyone come to the RPG games except Lee and Tim and maybe Alec, and then having my ideas not understood or trivialized (not that Tim means to) just doesn't make for a good starting point.
And...well...I had to drop my Poe class.
It wasn't that I didn't like it. (Though I'm surprisingly, not-so-fond of Poe) It was more that...there was an issue with someone in that class. A long-standing issue. Probably ancient by my standards. But...he never seems to fail to pop up in exactly the wrong place, and turn me into a gibbering, frightened moron. It's really not worth mentioning, I guess, less because it's a lame story (though it is--Do any of you go back and scoff at the narrative detail of your life? Because I do. I could write a better story than the one that's true about me.) and more because it never fails to put my mind in the wrong place, and start me stewing.
The LAST time, this happened, I got angry at Fox-sama. Probably almost a year ago, come to think of it. (I really don't get angry much on the internet... I'm usually really amused.) And now I've had to change the course of my future (pun unintended but graceful in its spare ironies) and I just can't seem to run into the proper... "mood alterer" should I say? That's probably not a term commonly applied to other people. (It makes them sound like some sort of illegal drug, for one...) But the alternative is getting stuck back in my own head again. No thank you. While I like having an over-active imagination as much as the next person, the next person typically hasn't spent several years there.
Ugh. I'm talking in roundabout vaguities everywhere now...
It...hasn't been a good week so far, I'd say. Nice little downward spin until I find the next proper momentary distraction...
And...You know it's a bad day when Oscar Wilde's immortal nemesis being trampled to death by PWNies doesn't cheer you up.
http://community.livejournal.com/capswilde/3563.html
I think I need some caffeine or something. This is clearly going to be a long day (the fact my classes still go until nine, notwithstanding)...but at least I don't have to deal with ONE thing anymore.
Things may just brighten up, but until then, I'm still terribly glum, and I know I'm not going ot get much of an outlet probably until Thursday at best.
...Not that that's going to stop me from grabbing myself a footlong sub momentarily, and scarfing it down, then going off to African American Literature in the hopes that maybe today we'll talk about something non-depressing. (Or something which doesn't make me look strange for being the palest kid in the class, coupled with a dutch last name...)
And hopefully, I won't get tentatively hit on by more people thinking I'm a lesbian.
I'm starting to feel bad about this...I think I'm up to two so far this semester, and maybe ONE before that. Not to mention half a dozen people who got confused and had to ask, while still trying to be all "it's okay that you're gay" while I'm going "huh? I'm not gay. I just have no fashion sense and I can't snag a guy to save my life due to timidity +5 about awkward girly feelings."
This...tends to lead to awkwardness in conversations.
This may also lead to a fear of rainbows in the near future on my part... (It's not like I have problems with people who are gay/lesbian/bi, it's just they always assume I am, too, and then when you get to religion they get REALLY confused about why I'm not beating them over the head with a tract or a holy tome...) I don't WANT to become paranoid!jumpy about people for the rest of my life, but it would be REALLY nice not to be confused for something I'm not just ONCE in my life...
Especially not when I have to deal with other such things which might make me snappish, introspective, or otherwise a great bearer of unnecessary information...
...Bright happy things around the horizon, I hope. (But hopefully not rainbows...*sigh*)