very sentimental
ONE
I did not even have the guts to look at him. Just when I had the chance to see him again, only ten feet away from me. Last night I promised myself to stop being foolish and concentrate on my studies instead. Last night I told myself that I will have better grades this semester, and that I will at least (at least..) try not to absent myself from classes. Last night, I told myself to let go, because time spent repenting on the past is time wasted. It would not do me any good, and it would definitely not give me the courage to move on.
And I re-realized that it was not healthy at all to be at home for such a long time. Two or three days are fine, but two weeks, definitely not. When I went back to Los Banos, I felt different, not about the surroundings, but with myself. I was lost again.
TWO
Thank you for caring so much. I have not really been there with you, and it's quite unfair because you sound like an angel. Sorry too that I've caused you more pain. But I know you have your own set of problems to deal with, so mine will only cause you a heavier load. Just think that I am taking care of myself, I am, truly. So you too must fulfill your share :) Like I said, try not to be a masochist. It's unhealthy. You are only hurting yourself.
THREE
I rant oftentimes about my problems, and perhaps my sadness too. Even if I let nobody hear me, at least I have let them all out. And honestly, I feel better and lighter, realizing (all over and over again) that this is the kind of life I am living. All I can do is let its scar be a reminder for me that my past will always be a part of me and I cannot do anything to erase it. What I can do is accept my flaws and my life's tragedies and learn from them. Maybe someday I'll just die from a heart attack. Haha.
I don't want to end up rotten in a mental hospital. I want to live freely.
I did not even have the guts to look at him. Just when I had the chance to see him again, only ten feet away from me. Last night I promised myself to stop being foolish and concentrate on my studies instead. Last night I told myself that I will have better grades this semester, and that I will at least (at least..) try not to absent myself from classes. Last night, I told myself to let go, because time spent repenting on the past is time wasted. It would not do me any good, and it would definitely not give me the courage to move on.
And I re-realized that it was not healthy at all to be at home for such a long time. Two or three days are fine, but two weeks, definitely not. When I went back to Los Banos, I felt different, not about the surroundings, but with myself. I was lost again.
TWO
Thank you for caring so much. I have not really been there with you, and it's quite unfair because you sound like an angel. Sorry too that I've caused you more pain. But I know you have your own set of problems to deal with, so mine will only cause you a heavier load. Just think that I am taking care of myself, I am, truly. So you too must fulfill your share :) Like I said, try not to be a masochist. It's unhealthy. You are only hurting yourself.
THREE
I rant oftentimes about my problems, and perhaps my sadness too. Even if I let nobody hear me, at least I have let them all out. And honestly, I feel better and lighter, realizing (all over and over again) that this is the kind of life I am living. All I can do is let its scar be a reminder for me that my past will always be a part of me and I cannot do anything to erase it. What I can do is accept my flaws and my life's tragedies and learn from them. Maybe someday I'll just die from a heart attack. Haha.
I don't want to end up rotten in a mental hospital. I want to live freely.