probably only feisty_fitz and stueypark will be interested in this, but oh well ( Read more... )

on friday, we had our department's quarterly town hall meeting. normally for these town hall meetings, it's about an hour and a half long, with a lot of financial talk and then different teams give out awards for stellar employee performance. this was the first time i can remember it being mandatory attendance, though... usually they keep some ( Read more... )

coworker: "...so he got home from china or somewhere and his key didn't work, so he had to break into the house, then the cops showed up and when he caused a fuss he was arrested."

other coworker: "whose house?"

me (eavesdropping): "RUN'S HOUSE!!"

---

greyplanet, i admit it, i totally thought of you when i saw the "Because I (expletive) my pants every ( Read more... )

at work we were talking about people that chew gum / crack gum / chew food with their mouth open...

me: "i hate it when people chew with their mouth open. GROSS."

coworker: "there was a guy we used to sit with in the cafeteria who would chew his lunch with his mouth open. he'd say, 'if you don't like it, go sit somewhere else, this is how i was ( Read more... )

even though i thought this up about a month or two ago, i still haven't posted about it, and it's almost comedy gold so i can't really keep it from you ( Read more... )

Man nabbed after hitting girlfriend with sandwichPORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. (AP) - A man faces a domestic battery charge after allegedly hitting his girlfriend with a sandwich as she was driving on Interstate 95 on Friday. Police said the 19-year-old man became angry and hit the woman in the arm and face with a sandwich, knocking her glasses off ( Read more... )

(coworkers talking about another coworker's loud plaid blue suit)

coworker 1: "somebody better call the fashion police... woop! woop!"
me: "DAT'S DA SOUND OF DA POLICE! WOOP WOOP! DAT'S DA SOUND OF DA BEAST!"
coworker 2: *dies*

me: i went to get some cereal and realized i had forgotten to put my clothes for work in the wash
whammywah: haha
me: so i was downstairs putting the stuff in the washing machine and a cricket jumped on the back of my neck and freaked me out
me: i don't know where it came from, haha
whammywah: i did my laundry tonight
whammywah: oh man
whammywah: that's the cricket that was keeping ( Read more... )

*while sitting in my "second cubicle" at work…*coworker A: *enters bathroom* "oh, looks like it's a full house in here..." *goes to urinal*
coworker B: *goes to other urinal*
*5 seconds of silence*
coworker B: "…do you want to cross the streams?"
coworker A: "…what??"
coworker B: "do you want to cross the streams, like in 'ghostbusters'?"
coworker ( Read more... )

so since i trust you not to go waving these pictures around out in public, i'll tell you a story...

today at work, my ol' coworker ben (who still works in the store channel as a technician), forwarded me an email that was sent to the stores and had this image:


( Read more... )