something under the trees that made you cry
Six months between posts. I am a terrible blogger. It's not even that I didn't want to, either. I kept meaning to and going 'hey i should write about this', but then I never did. Distracted or otherwise caught up with something else.
I'm on the rag, so I should really just wait and write a new entry until I'm feel less like a sad sack of shit, but I figure I'll cover a few things now, like art and little updates, and try to keep my bad mood out of it.
I stopped taking commissions at the beginning of October, which is really one of the best decisions I've made. My art productivity has been through the roof since then and now that I don't feel guilty for doing personal work instead of working on commissions, I'm just doing a lot more stuff and learning a lot more overall. It feels really good, to say the least. I update my artblog often and with stuff I don't post on FA/DA/wherever: http://obliviousally.tumblr.com Lots of sketches and doodles, works in progress, and random stuff, mostly.
Some little portraits I drew right after posting about not taking anymore commissions. They're just little 500x500 headshot/icons things. One of Ally, one for a local furry chick, and one of Phe.
Lots and lots of art! You have no idea how good this makes me feel. I'm pretty sure I've drawn more in the last three months than I did in all of 2012.
Some adoptables I drew while FA was down. They're still up for grabs (i need to edit the descriptions).
Aaaaand, also, some art I've gotten in the last couple months. Most were requests/gifts, but some were small paid commissions from over the summer. Only one is missing from here, because it's adult: horrible kaiju/Jaeger pilot porn.
This school semester was pretty rough.
Tony and I both had some kind of bronchitis starting in August and running almost halfway through September. It was awful. I was running a fever so high one night that our hairless cat (whose body temperature is always about three or four degrees higher than a human's) felt lukewarm to me and I thought HE was sick. It was awful. Coughing so hard you'd throw up, being too sick to get up and do anything, just laying in bed for days on end. Awful.
Then, my mom had a massive heart attack at the beginning of September. She woke up in the middle of the night, told Bud she was having a heart attack, drove herself to the hospital, and walked in to inform them of what was happening and immediately went into cardiac arrest. They had to go CPR for almost forty-five minutes and they shocked her with the paddles about ten times (she has scars from them now). She was life flighted to Cleveland Metro and was in critical condition for forty-eight hours. It was pretty hectic. I'd woken up that morning with a message on Facebook from Bud saying that she was in the hospital and she'd had a heart attack, but I'd passed it off since I wasn't awake yet and, to be honest, my mom's been in and out of the hospital a lot the last couple years (she's had two minor strokes, among a plethora of other things), so I figured it wasn't anything serious until I called him a few hours later and he was almost crying on the phone.
I ended up taking the bus up to Cleveland, which was a fun adventure, but it was also less stress/less money on gas, since I figured I'd be stuck staying up there for the night anyhow. The evening wasn't terribly stressful, as there was nothing that could be done but wait for her condition to get in the clear. The next morning was stressful because Lynn, Bud's mom, was freaking out about leaving her at the hospital because Bud had to go back to Warren and take care of things and Lynn herself needed to go home and I needed to go home and go to work. Full blown meltdown when she saw a bird in the lobby. I was not aware, beforehand, that birds in the house/a building are a bad omen/mean people dying. Which, of course, is ridiculous when it comes to a hospital because there's people dying there every day. So I was thankful when I got home and didn't have to deal with her in context of the hospital anymore.
I love Lynn, but I cannot deal with that level of freak-out when it comes to these kinds of situations. I just don't over-react. The whole time I was calm and collected and I think the nurses liked dealing with my inquiries about things more than Bud, who thought he knew everything that was going on and was doubly frustrating when we were asking the social worker what steps we needed to take so my mom could get her medication and aftercare paid for. Bud thought the social worker would be able to magically wave a wand and fix shit, but I knew otherwise and, as next of kin, I had the say anyhow.
The next of kin thing was scary for a bit there, too. Because my mom has explicitly stated to me on numerous occasions that she does not want to be a vegetable and if I needed to, I could tell the doctors to pull the plug. I never felt like that was a thing that was going to happen, but it was still there in the back of my mind.
After she started coming to, it was a weird couple of days as the medication wore off. They had her on something that gave her temporary amnesia so she would be hazy each time she woke up (on top of that, she was also restrained to the bed and had all sorts of stuff down her throat and stuff). So when she started coming back around and they started easing her off the medication, she was confused about what year it was and who all was still alive. Bud freaked out and thought that her asking about her brother and mother and the kids was her losing fifteen years and I had to explain to him that it was the medication and she didn't lose fifteen years and just calm your tits, christ. But when he called and said that, I was legitimately scared for a moment, because that's what started happening to my grandmother before she went crazy and I just can't cope with that level of disconnect.
Once she was back to normal, things were better for the most part. They had to focus on clearing out some blood clots and she was back in the hospital a few weeks later due to that, but it wasn't too bad overall. The biggest surprise that came out of the whole thing was that my youngest sister, Adri, went up to see her at the hospital. We haven't actually seen the kids in person in about ten or fifteen years, my mom probably longer than that, but my mom's been in contact with Adri for the last couple years and they've actually been catching up because she's willing to give my mom a second chance. Their grandmother really fucked them up with the mental manipulation, so one out of three ain't bad.
But all of that mess kept me really distracted from work and school for about two solid months, then I had to play catchup and I passed one of my classes, but I completely bombed out of the other one, so I have to do an appeal again and hope they're not tired of seeing my name.
Blah blah, tired of writing right now. Typical. I need to sort through my brain and my Facebook and pull out any other relevant events in the last six months.
[ crossposted from dreamwidth ➙ you can also view it there ]
I'm on the rag, so I should really just wait and write a new entry until I'm feel less like a sad sack of shit, but I figure I'll cover a few things now, like art and little updates, and try to keep my bad mood out of it.
I stopped taking commissions at the beginning of October, which is really one of the best decisions I've made. My art productivity has been through the roof since then and now that I don't feel guilty for doing personal work instead of working on commissions, I'm just doing a lot more stuff and learning a lot more overall. It feels really good, to say the least. I update my artblog often and with stuff I don't post on FA/DA/wherever: http://obliviousally.tumblr.com Lots of sketches and doodles, works in progress, and random stuff, mostly.
Some little portraits I drew right after posting about not taking anymore commissions. They're just little 500x500 headshot/icons things. One of Ally, one for a local furry chick, and one of Phe.
Lots and lots of art! You have no idea how good this makes me feel. I'm pretty sure I've drawn more in the last three months than I did in all of 2012.
Some adoptables I drew while FA was down. They're still up for grabs (i need to edit the descriptions).
Aaaaand, also, some art I've gotten in the last couple months. Most were requests/gifts, but some were small paid commissions from over the summer. Only one is missing from here, because it's adult: horrible kaiju/Jaeger pilot porn.
This school semester was pretty rough.
Tony and I both had some kind of bronchitis starting in August and running almost halfway through September. It was awful. I was running a fever so high one night that our hairless cat (whose body temperature is always about three or four degrees higher than a human's) felt lukewarm to me and I thought HE was sick. It was awful. Coughing so hard you'd throw up, being too sick to get up and do anything, just laying in bed for days on end. Awful.
Then, my mom had a massive heart attack at the beginning of September. She woke up in the middle of the night, told Bud she was having a heart attack, drove herself to the hospital, and walked in to inform them of what was happening and immediately went into cardiac arrest. They had to go CPR for almost forty-five minutes and they shocked her with the paddles about ten times (she has scars from them now). She was life flighted to Cleveland Metro and was in critical condition for forty-eight hours. It was pretty hectic. I'd woken up that morning with a message on Facebook from Bud saying that she was in the hospital and she'd had a heart attack, but I'd passed it off since I wasn't awake yet and, to be honest, my mom's been in and out of the hospital a lot the last couple years (she's had two minor strokes, among a plethora of other things), so I figured it wasn't anything serious until I called him a few hours later and he was almost crying on the phone.
I ended up taking the bus up to Cleveland, which was a fun adventure, but it was also less stress/less money on gas, since I figured I'd be stuck staying up there for the night anyhow. The evening wasn't terribly stressful, as there was nothing that could be done but wait for her condition to get in the clear. The next morning was stressful because Lynn, Bud's mom, was freaking out about leaving her at the hospital because Bud had to go back to Warren and take care of things and Lynn herself needed to go home and I needed to go home and go to work. Full blown meltdown when she saw a bird in the lobby. I was not aware, beforehand, that birds in the house/a building are a bad omen/mean people dying. Which, of course, is ridiculous when it comes to a hospital because there's people dying there every day. So I was thankful when I got home and didn't have to deal with her in context of the hospital anymore.
I love Lynn, but I cannot deal with that level of freak-out when it comes to these kinds of situations. I just don't over-react. The whole time I was calm and collected and I think the nurses liked dealing with my inquiries about things more than Bud, who thought he knew everything that was going on and was doubly frustrating when we were asking the social worker what steps we needed to take so my mom could get her medication and aftercare paid for. Bud thought the social worker would be able to magically wave a wand and fix shit, but I knew otherwise and, as next of kin, I had the say anyhow.
The next of kin thing was scary for a bit there, too. Because my mom has explicitly stated to me on numerous occasions that she does not want to be a vegetable and if I needed to, I could tell the doctors to pull the plug. I never felt like that was a thing that was going to happen, but it was still there in the back of my mind.
After she started coming to, it was a weird couple of days as the medication wore off. They had her on something that gave her temporary amnesia so she would be hazy each time she woke up (on top of that, she was also restrained to the bed and had all sorts of stuff down her throat and stuff). So when she started coming back around and they started easing her off the medication, she was confused about what year it was and who all was still alive. Bud freaked out and thought that her asking about her brother and mother and the kids was her losing fifteen years and I had to explain to him that it was the medication and she didn't lose fifteen years and just calm your tits, christ. But when he called and said that, I was legitimately scared for a moment, because that's what started happening to my grandmother before she went crazy and I just can't cope with that level of disconnect.
Once she was back to normal, things were better for the most part. They had to focus on clearing out some blood clots and she was back in the hospital a few weeks later due to that, but it wasn't too bad overall. The biggest surprise that came out of the whole thing was that my youngest sister, Adri, went up to see her at the hospital. We haven't actually seen the kids in person in about ten or fifteen years, my mom probably longer than that, but my mom's been in contact with Adri for the last couple years and they've actually been catching up because she's willing to give my mom a second chance. Their grandmother really fucked them up with the mental manipulation, so one out of three ain't bad.
But all of that mess kept me really distracted from work and school for about two solid months, then I had to play catchup and I passed one of my classes, but I completely bombed out of the other one, so I have to do an appeal again and hope they're not tired of seeing my name.
Blah blah, tired of writing right now. Typical. I need to sort through my brain and my Facebook and pull out any other relevant events in the last six months.
[ crossposted from dreamwidth ➙ you can also view it there ]