Eventually if you date long enough you'll find yourself dating the same people. Not the same in name, but the same in character, mannerisms, lack of affection
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It's more like you find yourself attracted to 'same people'. Generally peoples behaviours follow a pattern. However usually when dating someone you don't know, well, you don't what they are like when you first start dating!
For example, This is generally physically what I find attractive in a guy, slim build, facial hair I dig and for some reason, blue eyes. Not really fussed on anything else. Totally depends on personality after all and interests.
To be honest, getting physical when both people are drunk is border line rape. Even if two people consent, like I just feel after doing that stuff when I was younger was a mistake, half the time, no idea what I was doing and made bad choices while drunk. Also because, both people are intoxicated and it's generally terrible having sex when you are and never really as good anyway. So it's much nicer when people are sober. My life has got better since I gave up drinking. Occasional drinking was fine however.
Chances are if your feeling like someone won't text or talk to you back if you stopped all communicating, they may not actually want the relationship at all. I learnt this from the last guy I dated. Faked it the whole time, I reackon so. I always generally had to ask him to hang out, but he paid for it. Then he started this flake out behaviour after he broke up with me. I should have walked away at that point and I have now. Maybe she just likes the attention? That is really quite shallow of them if they are. Because, it's wasting your time. Generally from personal experience, I love attention to death. Until recently, I never realized what a waste of time dating is for the majority of relationships that barely last a month. It really saddens me that you feel that way, makes you lonely in a relationship. Maybe the best choice is to end it. But it is your choice.
In the end, I have learnt, no matter how attracted you are to someone, if they make you feel like shit, stress you out and have sleeping issues. It's not worth hanging on. Because it's a not real relationship you can be happy in. Your own happiness is all that matters.
Thank you for the response. I read it and thought a lot about it and formulated several responses in my head but they never turned out quite as I wanted so I decided to just sit town and start typing.
Slim build, facial hair and blue eyes? Sounds familiar...
I understand the argument you're making regarding getting physical when drunk - at the very least it creates a legal hazard. Another friend (male) told me he wouldn't even touch alcohol the first time he was with a girl due to the legal issues that could potentially arise. It's sad that we live in that world. I guess different lifestyles but I always thought the physical part to be better after a few drinks but to each their own. I did have /KM pour her own drinks - not sure if it makes much of a difference but there was absolutely no way I would pour someone else drinks then get physical with them.
Your words are very wise - particularly illustrating the 'waste of time'. Having dating pretty frequently I'm amazing at the lack of intimacy (mostly emotional) people will be willing to accept. I suppose I'm a hypocrite for accepting the lack of affection or "emotional intimacy" with /KM while complaining about it but I don't see the current situation going on forever. At the very least a discussion needs to take place. Sorry to hear about your last relationship. Extending even beyond relationships, I feel so many friendships are that way too - one "lack of a text" away from ending. Strange.
I had to cut that person out of my life. I will regret for a long time the fact that I tried to do something good for him. Actually the best thing you can ever do is cut someone out of your life who is bad for you, no matter how hard it is, even if you miss them every day. You know your better off for it. I'm guessing it's why I am having issues getting over it, in time I will. I know I will. I am a strong person.
You're most welcome.
I find generally Men are like that lack of emotional connection, but I think it's just people in general due to fear of being hurt, quite possibly.
For example, This is generally physically what I find attractive in a guy, slim build, facial hair I dig and for some reason, blue eyes. Not really fussed on anything else. Totally depends on personality after all and interests.
To be honest, getting physical when both people are drunk is border line rape. Even if two people consent, like I just feel after doing that stuff when I was younger was a mistake, half the time, no idea what I was doing and made bad choices while drunk. Also because, both people are intoxicated and it's generally terrible having sex when you are and never really as good anyway. So it's much nicer when people are sober. My life has got better since I gave up drinking. Occasional drinking was fine however.
Chances are if your feeling like someone won't text or talk to you back if you stopped all communicating, they may not actually want the relationship at all. I learnt this from the last guy I dated. Faked it the whole time, I reackon so. I always generally had to ask him to hang out, but he paid for it. Then he started this flake out behaviour after he broke up with me. I should have walked away at that point and I have now. Maybe she just likes the attention? That is really quite shallow of them if they are. Because, it's wasting your time. Generally from personal experience, I love attention to death. Until recently, I never realized what a waste of time dating is for the majority of relationships that barely last a month. It really saddens me that you feel that way, makes you lonely in a relationship. Maybe the best choice is to end it. But it is your choice.
In the end, I have learnt, no matter how attracted you are to someone, if they make you feel like shit, stress you out and have sleeping issues. It's not worth hanging on. Because it's a not real relationship you can be happy in. Your own happiness is all that matters.
Reply
Slim build, facial hair and blue eyes? Sounds familiar...
I understand the argument you're making regarding getting physical when drunk - at the very least it creates a legal hazard. Another friend (male) told me he wouldn't even touch alcohol the first time he was with a girl due to the legal issues that could potentially arise. It's sad that we live in that world. I guess different lifestyles but I always thought the physical part to be better after a few drinks but to each their own. I did have /KM pour her own drinks - not sure if it makes much of a difference but there was absolutely no way I would pour someone else drinks then get physical with them.
Your words are very wise - particularly illustrating the 'waste of time'. Having dating pretty frequently I'm amazing at the lack of intimacy (mostly emotional) people will be willing to accept. I suppose I'm a hypocrite for accepting the lack of affection or "emotional intimacy" with /KM while complaining about it but I don't see the current situation going on forever. At the very least a discussion needs to take place. Sorry to hear about your last relationship. Extending even beyond relationships, I feel so many friendships are that way too - one "lack of a text" away from ending. Strange.
Thanks
Reply
You're most welcome.
I find generally Men are like that lack of emotional connection, but I think it's just people in general due to fear of being hurt, quite possibly.
Reply
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