I am sorry Live Journal
I know I said no negative.. but I have no where else to regress...
Yesterday, while I was preparing homemade pancakes- doing laundry- watering the lawn- picking at the garden- cleaning house- and waiting for my Aunt to wake up... she was plotting against me.
I walked by her room several times to see if she was awake yet... it was getting to be about noon and still... no sound from her room... no tv or talk or anything... she HAD stayed up until 3am the night before- as she refused to sleep until I got home from my night out- though she had her kid and sister in the house who were waiting for me- caring for her-etc.... SO I figured she was just still super tired from not sleeping much the night before.. I on the other hand woke up an hour later then usual- almost 10 am but was wide awake and ready for the day...
(I slept a lot during the day I was to go out.. so I think I was set..)
I hear the phone ring. I hear her answer it. I wait... I go to her room, to see if she was done with her conversation... silence again... I slowly walk into her room... and I hear no sound... she must have gone back to sleep I think.
I am refilling her pills and then I get a text from my other Aunt.. her sister- "Why are you not feeding and changing C*... she is calling me for help."
I am like whhhhat?????
So I go to see C and she is awake..
And I walk in on her talking to someone on the phone...
in a hushed voice I hear her say "shes hear now, I have to go..."
"OH HII I was talking to Cass"
me: yea
so C have you been up for a while?
her: no I just go up.. well I kept waking up and falling asleep today--- I am really tired.
me: Yea... I know I kept coming by your room and didnt hear anything.
her: yea, I knew you were awake, I could hear you in the garden and watering the lawn.. and doing the laundry... but I was tired so I slept more.
me: so why didnt you call me when you wanted up? what is this about you calling J and telling her I am not feeding you or diapering you?
her: oh I didnt call her.... wait.. yea I did... Uhm well I just left a message on her machine.. and said I didnt know where you were.
me: but I am here... where would I go?
her: I dont know.. i just felt you were not here...
I look at the ground.. and the piece of paper that is used for her to contact me and other people is crumbled up on the floor...
me: why are your numbers on the ground?
her: i know your number! and i wanted the wall clean.
me: so why didnt you call me? instead of your sis or cass?
her: because i didnt think you were here
me: where was i, do you think?
her: i dont know. the park?
me: why didnt you call my cell if you know my number?
her: I didnt want to, cause you were not here.
me: (looking at her like she is crazy and SHE BETTER know? how absurd she sounds) BUT I WAS HERE... and EVEN if I WASNT you could have called my cell... THE PARK is ten times closer to home then your sister or kid... so your logic is not making sense...
her: its just a misunderstanding.
a long pause... this whole time I am changing her and doing her daily exercises...
me: so... when you call your sis and tell her I am not feeding you and I am leaving you in dirty diapers.. how do you think that is going to look.. for me.. for my character?
her: long pause... well I will just have to tell them it was a misunderstanding, mixed communication... I am tired and maybe I got things mixed up... she fades off...
longer pause... I need a break from my Aunt...
I go text J and tell her about how I was there all morn waiting for her to wake and all the things I did to show proof I was here.. I tell her I think C is trying to sabotage me and that I feel C wants to hurt my reputation...
J texts back and agrees and think C is trying to get people to come running to her aid and lather her with attention.. as she did a lot of guilt tripping last night when they were here with her.. and that J would like me to call her...
So after C is up and I have her breakfast heated and coffee brewed I go call J...
She reassures me she knows I am not trying to hurt C and that I am here at the house doing my duties... and that she also thinks C is trying to get extra attention and I have done nothing wrong. Good.
J also tells me that C called her AND Cass and told them that I had refused to come when she called me.. I check my call records.. no missed calls.. I tell J.. and J says that C also told them that Ci said I wasnt at the house... I told J C admitted to knowing I was in the house and the backyard for a little bit and admitted to that BEFORE I told Ci J had contacted me about not feeding diapering her...
ANYHOW,,, stupid... I am being detailed... because I need to have this written down somewhere.. its like I need a play by play so if I forget any details.. and later this comes up or something similar I have something to show.. for my memory of whats happening...
So... LJ this is just great eh?
I am just still pissed this morning.. because this woman is just evil. I hate her, I honestly do, And I feel like a jerk because I dont hate people. Nonetheless family...
There was the fire in the kitchen the day before... the stove had an electrical fire.. not caused by me other then turning the thing on... and for that she told them I ran out of the house with the fire still going, eaving her for dead. And though the idea crossed my mind... jk.. but yea. maybe not... I HAD PUT OUT THE FIRE> opened all the doors and windows... drank billows of smoke so my lungs hurt and told her I will about the fire AFTER I sit for a minute.. I sat on the stoop... less the 3 feet away in her view, still half in the house...
how dare she tell people I left her in the fire...
how dare she tell people I am leaving her in her urine and stuck in bed... starving...
AND HOW DARE she then wonder why I refuse to converse with her...other then for her basic needs to be met and still I cook and clean and pack and still be a human to her.. but does she deserve even that?
I lost compassion for this woman...
I lost it.. and frankly I feel to spent to look for it to come back.
Yesterday, while I was preparing homemade pancakes- doing laundry- watering the lawn- picking at the garden- cleaning house- and waiting for my Aunt to wake up... she was plotting against me.
I walked by her room several times to see if she was awake yet... it was getting to be about noon and still... no sound from her room... no tv or talk or anything... she HAD stayed up until 3am the night before- as she refused to sleep until I got home from my night out- though she had her kid and sister in the house who were waiting for me- caring for her-etc.... SO I figured she was just still super tired from not sleeping much the night before.. I on the other hand woke up an hour later then usual- almost 10 am but was wide awake and ready for the day...
(I slept a lot during the day I was to go out.. so I think I was set..)
I hear the phone ring. I hear her answer it. I wait... I go to her room, to see if she was done with her conversation... silence again... I slowly walk into her room... and I hear no sound... she must have gone back to sleep I think.
I am refilling her pills and then I get a text from my other Aunt.. her sister- "Why are you not feeding and changing C*... she is calling me for help."
I am like whhhhat?????
So I go to see C and she is awake..
And I walk in on her talking to someone on the phone...
in a hushed voice I hear her say "shes hear now, I have to go..."
"OH HII I was talking to Cass"
me: yea
so C have you been up for a while?
her: no I just go up.. well I kept waking up and falling asleep today--- I am really tired.
me: Yea... I know I kept coming by your room and didnt hear anything.
her: yea, I knew you were awake, I could hear you in the garden and watering the lawn.. and doing the laundry... but I was tired so I slept more.
me: so why didnt you call me when you wanted up? what is this about you calling J and telling her I am not feeding you or diapering you?
her: oh I didnt call her.... wait.. yea I did... Uhm well I just left a message on her machine.. and said I didnt know where you were.
me: but I am here... where would I go?
her: I dont know.. i just felt you were not here...
I look at the ground.. and the piece of paper that is used for her to contact me and other people is crumbled up on the floor...
me: why are your numbers on the ground?
her: i know your number! and i wanted the wall clean.
me: so why didnt you call me? instead of your sis or cass?
her: because i didnt think you were here
me: where was i, do you think?
her: i dont know. the park?
me: why didnt you call my cell if you know my number?
her: I didnt want to, cause you were not here.
me: (looking at her like she is crazy and SHE BETTER know? how absurd she sounds) BUT I WAS HERE... and EVEN if I WASNT you could have called my cell... THE PARK is ten times closer to home then your sister or kid... so your logic is not making sense...
her: its just a misunderstanding.
a long pause... this whole time I am changing her and doing her daily exercises...
me: so... when you call your sis and tell her I am not feeding you and I am leaving you in dirty diapers.. how do you think that is going to look.. for me.. for my character?
her: long pause... well I will just have to tell them it was a misunderstanding, mixed communication... I am tired and maybe I got things mixed up... she fades off...
longer pause... I need a break from my Aunt...
I go text J and tell her about how I was there all morn waiting for her to wake and all the things I did to show proof I was here.. I tell her I think C is trying to sabotage me and that I feel C wants to hurt my reputation...
J texts back and agrees and think C is trying to get people to come running to her aid and lather her with attention.. as she did a lot of guilt tripping last night when they were here with her.. and that J would like me to call her...
So after C is up and I have her breakfast heated and coffee brewed I go call J...
She reassures me she knows I am not trying to hurt C and that I am here at the house doing my duties... and that she also thinks C is trying to get extra attention and I have done nothing wrong. Good.
J also tells me that C called her AND Cass and told them that I had refused to come when she called me.. I check my call records.. no missed calls.. I tell J.. and J says that C also told them that Ci said I wasnt at the house... I told J C admitted to knowing I was in the house and the backyard for a little bit and admitted to that BEFORE I told Ci J had contacted me about not feeding diapering her...
ANYHOW,,, stupid... I am being detailed... because I need to have this written down somewhere.. its like I need a play by play so if I forget any details.. and later this comes up or something similar I have something to show.. for my memory of whats happening...
So... LJ this is just great eh?
I am just still pissed this morning.. because this woman is just evil. I hate her, I honestly do, And I feel like a jerk because I dont hate people. Nonetheless family...
There was the fire in the kitchen the day before... the stove had an electrical fire.. not caused by me other then turning the thing on... and for that she told them I ran out of the house with the fire still going, eaving her for dead. And though the idea crossed my mind... jk.. but yea. maybe not... I HAD PUT OUT THE FIRE> opened all the doors and windows... drank billows of smoke so my lungs hurt and told her I will about the fire AFTER I sit for a minute.. I sat on the stoop... less the 3 feet away in her view, still half in the house...
how dare she tell people I left her in the fire...
how dare she tell people I am leaving her in her urine and stuck in bed... starving...
AND HOW DARE she then wonder why I refuse to converse with her...other then for her basic needs to be met and still I cook and clean and pack and still be a human to her.. but does she deserve even that?
I lost compassion for this woman...
I lost it.. and frankly I feel to spent to look for it to come back.