There was that one day the stove caught fire...you know like two days ago...
uh stuff as always is happening in this house.. and RARELY is it good... so since its not good and I vowed to think positive I am going to skip talking about this place... oh expect the only REAL good thing... is my Aunt will not be here in a week.. SHE REALLY NEEDS to be in a home.. never thought I would have said that, but I am also afraid that after a few months living there they may kick her out... cause of her misdemeanor... BUT LETS NOT tempt any lions if there isn't already any...
Still nothing new about my health and no news from a doctor... so maybe no news is good news?
But then what the hell is wrong with me.... long dribbling sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I kinda want to start dating again... but I guess I have no way to go bout doing that,,, since I dont actually live or belong anywhere....
And I don't want to like someone who isn't from where I am headed because then again I will be taken from my true destination.. so I am doing best to shrug off that feeling... the one that misses being someone apple of their eye.
But who am I kidding? Still heart broken about Chris... BUT at the same time.. I think I can finally see that he is gay and making a gay man straight is like forcing a river to flow the other way.. and I can push up stream all I want... but he still wants to f men and marry one... and perhaps get a sex change.. and unless I get a sex change I don't think I have a chance.
He knows I wont get a sex change, I think that bummed him out a little. I think it bums me out a little.
Help I am a gay man trapped in a girls body... and I say that literally... aint no joke... crazy man! Who thinks that way anyhow...
really.
Uhm oh so I went to the Powerhouse in Folsom off of Sutter Street on Thursday night and I saw John Corbitt band play and the Whiskey Dawn.. they are cowboy bands... err country bands.. never thought I would see myself in a hick bar... loadddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddssssssssssssssssssssss and hoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaards of single ladies.. kinda scary... but fun too! And I danced my bum off and some little miss sweet thing kept shaking her non booty in my face.. haha but of course I drooled over the mandolin player who is a teacher at UCD and my cousin informed me he is married with three kids.. of course..
oh wait did I not say I didnt want to date anyone here anyhow?! AGHH
Oh so John Corbitt kicked me in the heel... and then rubbed his body against my arm as he went back on stage to sing with my cousins boyfriends band... yea that was hot... haha MOST ACTION I have seen in a year or so! haha....
Afterward girls were flocked to John and making out with his ear and cheek and shoulders and chest and literally his nose and lips and forehead... anywhere they could find rooom! Cause there were SO many women at once on him and his other band mates.... pretty scary... I wonder if this is how Sarah Jessica Parker parties? Haha...
Whatever though, haha. I am sure every girl though disgusted was somewhat envious of the woman getting a smile and chat and hand touch from this hotty star gone musician.
HAHA
I don't know why I KEEP laughing...
Wait was that just gossip.
OH WELL folks I think it was.
I have broken every Buddhist vow in the last month or two... I need to leave this house I seriously am becoming HER and like her and becoming this evil bitchy me that I hated in other girls in Middle School.
Still nothing new about my health and no news from a doctor... so maybe no news is good news?
But then what the hell is wrong with me.... long dribbling sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I kinda want to start dating again... but I guess I have no way to go bout doing that,,, since I dont actually live or belong anywhere....
And I don't want to like someone who isn't from where I am headed because then again I will be taken from my true destination.. so I am doing best to shrug off that feeling... the one that misses being someone apple of their eye.
But who am I kidding? Still heart broken about Chris... BUT at the same time.. I think I can finally see that he is gay and making a gay man straight is like forcing a river to flow the other way.. and I can push up stream all I want... but he still wants to f men and marry one... and perhaps get a sex change.. and unless I get a sex change I don't think I have a chance.
He knows I wont get a sex change, I think that bummed him out a little. I think it bums me out a little.
Help I am a gay man trapped in a girls body... and I say that literally... aint no joke... crazy man! Who thinks that way anyhow...
really.
Uhm oh so I went to the Powerhouse in Folsom off of Sutter Street on Thursday night and I saw John Corbitt band play and the Whiskey Dawn.. they are cowboy bands... err country bands.. never thought I would see myself in a hick bar... loadddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddssssssssssssssssssssss and hoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaards of single ladies.. kinda scary... but fun too! And I danced my bum off and some little miss sweet thing kept shaking her non booty in my face.. haha but of course I drooled over the mandolin player who is a teacher at UCD and my cousin informed me he is married with three kids.. of course..
oh wait did I not say I didnt want to date anyone here anyhow?! AGHH
Oh so John Corbitt kicked me in the heel... and then rubbed his body against my arm as he went back on stage to sing with my cousins boyfriends band... yea that was hot... haha MOST ACTION I have seen in a year or so! haha....
Afterward girls were flocked to John and making out with his ear and cheek and shoulders and chest and literally his nose and lips and forehead... anywhere they could find rooom! Cause there were SO many women at once on him and his other band mates.... pretty scary... I wonder if this is how Sarah Jessica Parker parties? Haha...
Whatever though, haha. I am sure every girl though disgusted was somewhat envious of the woman getting a smile and chat and hand touch from this hotty star gone musician.
HAHA
I don't know why I KEEP laughing...
Wait was that just gossip.
OH WELL folks I think it was.
I have broken every Buddhist vow in the last month or two... I need to leave this house I seriously am becoming HER and like her and becoming this evil bitchy me that I hated in other girls in Middle School.