(no subject)
My sister has photos on her facebook from a yellow party in SLO.... I told her she has a more exciting life then me, and that she should have been more strict on my growing up years... (joke since she is 7 yrs younger)
though I do remember having fun... but not remembering all I did... or I remember what I did and I know I loved it, but now my tastes change and I think hhmmmm could have been doing other stuff instead... but oh well.
Guess leaves me room to do more.
But this "rut" of sickness and depressives and loneliness has to be at least a little more not around I think for much change to take shift....
I got a book on depression, its written like some type of journal and also leaves space for me to write.
Have not given it too much look at yet, but I think it was a good buy...
Found it in the zen/Buddhist section at a local bookshop for cheap... cant go to wrong with that.
Awhile ago I went to the local library for a talk on immigration, well the speaker is also a known author, and I got his book the other day too, from the library,,,, Illegal People by David Bacon
Not much in the reading mood now though.... just watching Gossip Girl season one and Greys Anatomy Season 3.
I dont think I can watch L word now , though I got season one... just tooooo many stuff to watch... And wasnt on my top list just was told by a gf to watch it.
BUT during watching tv time I have made some art... so not totally guilty of doing nothing.. Also studied for my food handlers card and got it online for work... and studying for my written at DMV... I have to get a ID since my is up in April. Bummer.
I am a little overwhelmed feeling I do not have enough contact with outside world, but at the same time outside world gives me a headache and hermit life sounds nice.
I think I miss Utah. And going to tea with Amber and making silly gifts for Garrett, I miss this more then I miss anything else. And well.. I miss sex, cooking, and walking adventures with Chris... but not sure if I will ever see him at this point.
I am not really calling anyone and actually havent called anyone really, cause I am so hopeless, and awnry, and bitter....
so just so the world knows... email is safer.
Safe so I dont run my mouth.
My hands want to swear and curse at the world too... but trust me any bitter eyore attitudes on here is a lot less then it would be if one would talk to me. I hate talking with my mum or dad lately too... just feel like I have vomit mouth... spewing all the foul things I can possibly think of. They dont deserve that.
On top of it I have to apply for medicare or something cause hospital bills are too high for anyone in my family to cover... or for me to cover... meeeh...
Also I got sick with stomach/intestinal flu after going to PDX... on drive home I almost passed out in car. No one believes me I think in the seriousness of it since I am here now and the car is too.. but I had to turn the AC on high, windows down and still I bout fell asleep at wheel couple times... I was afraid to stop too... cause I was so sick.
Made it to mums and passed out. Woke up for Greys... haha.. then back to sleep. No puking... thank god... but still so sick I cant leave the house...
Well I left the house once since Thursday..... been missing work.
I went to Willamette Park in Corvallis and a creepy guy in the woods was following me.
Apparently this is where creepy guys hang and i didn't know it til I told my Aunt.
First creepy guy was walking quietly behind me. And when I noticed him felt startled... I thought I was alone.. no biggie... so I go to the river and sit so he can pass me. He does... then he circles back and looks at me... finally I turn my head and he darts forward... then a few minutes later I turn my head around and he is deeper in woods but watching me and he sees I see him and he walks off... I get out of river area.. i look around i see nothing, but I know he is there... So I start to walk back... towards car... but don't want to leave and I think he is gone now... but to be safe I ask another stranger that didn't have danger written all over him to walk with me, and explain what happened. Then we saw creepy guy by the water where I once was... and he sees me and sits down then gets up and starts putting his hands on his face like he is hiding his face and throws his arms up and walks the other way, away from up but same direction forward we are going, I ask this new stranger named Sam to walk me towards the parking lot, and we then are around a few other people and kids, and I say thanks and bye to Sam.. got it from here... Sam also felt creeped out by creepy man in the woods...
That was my first harvesting experience. Didn't find anything. But got a weird story and some tree roots for an art project.
though I do remember having fun... but not remembering all I did... or I remember what I did and I know I loved it, but now my tastes change and I think hhmmmm could have been doing other stuff instead... but oh well.
Guess leaves me room to do more.
But this "rut" of sickness and depressives and loneliness has to be at least a little more not around I think for much change to take shift....
I got a book on depression, its written like some type of journal and also leaves space for me to write.
Have not given it too much look at yet, but I think it was a good buy...
Found it in the zen/Buddhist section at a local bookshop for cheap... cant go to wrong with that.
Awhile ago I went to the local library for a talk on immigration, well the speaker is also a known author, and I got his book the other day too, from the library,,,, Illegal People by David Bacon
Not much in the reading mood now though.... just watching Gossip Girl season one and Greys Anatomy Season 3.
I dont think I can watch L word now , though I got season one... just tooooo many stuff to watch... And wasnt on my top list just was told by a gf to watch it.
BUT during watching tv time I have made some art... so not totally guilty of doing nothing.. Also studied for my food handlers card and got it online for work... and studying for my written at DMV... I have to get a ID since my is up in April. Bummer.
I am a little overwhelmed feeling I do not have enough contact with outside world, but at the same time outside world gives me a headache and hermit life sounds nice.
I think I miss Utah. And going to tea with Amber and making silly gifts for Garrett, I miss this more then I miss anything else. And well.. I miss sex, cooking, and walking adventures with Chris... but not sure if I will ever see him at this point.
I am not really calling anyone and actually havent called anyone really, cause I am so hopeless, and awnry, and bitter....
so just so the world knows... email is safer.
Safe so I dont run my mouth.
My hands want to swear and curse at the world too... but trust me any bitter eyore attitudes on here is a lot less then it would be if one would talk to me. I hate talking with my mum or dad lately too... just feel like I have vomit mouth... spewing all the foul things I can possibly think of. They dont deserve that.
On top of it I have to apply for medicare or something cause hospital bills are too high for anyone in my family to cover... or for me to cover... meeeh...
Also I got sick with stomach/intestinal flu after going to PDX... on drive home I almost passed out in car. No one believes me I think in the seriousness of it since I am here now and the car is too.. but I had to turn the AC on high, windows down and still I bout fell asleep at wheel couple times... I was afraid to stop too... cause I was so sick.
Made it to mums and passed out. Woke up for Greys... haha.. then back to sleep. No puking... thank god... but still so sick I cant leave the house...
Well I left the house once since Thursday..... been missing work.
I went to Willamette Park in Corvallis and a creepy guy in the woods was following me.
Apparently this is where creepy guys hang and i didn't know it til I told my Aunt.
First creepy guy was walking quietly behind me. And when I noticed him felt startled... I thought I was alone.. no biggie... so I go to the river and sit so he can pass me. He does... then he circles back and looks at me... finally I turn my head and he darts forward... then a few minutes later I turn my head around and he is deeper in woods but watching me and he sees I see him and he walks off... I get out of river area.. i look around i see nothing, but I know he is there... So I start to walk back... towards car... but don't want to leave and I think he is gone now... but to be safe I ask another stranger that didn't have danger written all over him to walk with me, and explain what happened. Then we saw creepy guy by the water where I once was... and he sees me and sits down then gets up and starts putting his hands on his face like he is hiding his face and throws his arms up and walks the other way, away from up but same direction forward we are going, I ask this new stranger named Sam to walk me towards the parking lot, and we then are around a few other people and kids, and I say thanks and bye to Sam.. got it from here... Sam also felt creeped out by creepy man in the woods...
That was my first harvesting experience. Didn't find anything. But got a weird story and some tree roots for an art project.