Vicarious
I am working on myself through the house.
Its like a representation of who I am.
Good in some parts, a little worse for wear in others, a heap of problems, but in the long run, rife with potential.
I will do this.
I will do this on my own.
I have done major things in the past month, more things in the past few weeks than in the past two years.
Finally painted the upstairs hallway. Painted the stairwell. Painted most of the downstairs living room. Fixed the kitchen sink. Completely remodeled the upstairs bathroom (which is f-ing awesome btw), therefore fixing the leak into the downstairs apartment.
Oh yes, I have plans. And I'm doing things, good things, on my own, no help, sometimes with tears and resentment, sometimes with music and good spirits.
The past two years were booze filled and blurry, angry, abusive, saddening.
And nothing got done.
Things got worse, both in our relationship, and with the house, and there was no fixing either.
But now its just me.
And ya know, it sounds silly in this day and age to be so proud of things that I'm doing, because they're not difficult things.
But I'm a single lady, with very little disposable income, starting to earnestly rehab this house by myself.
And that makes me feel damn good.
I should actually have the apartment downstairs renovated by late Spring, finances depending. And beyond that point, I will rent it out.
And then I will save money. And if Remy has gone to the great backyard in the sky by next March, I will quit the Waterline, and take Arlo and go travel. Maybe live in San Diego for a year, because that is very appealing to me.
And on a less than single minded note:
Arlo loves to play fetch. It is entertaining to watch his little non-legs tear up the living room.
Its like a representation of who I am.
Good in some parts, a little worse for wear in others, a heap of problems, but in the long run, rife with potential.
I will do this.
I will do this on my own.
I have done major things in the past month, more things in the past few weeks than in the past two years.
Finally painted the upstairs hallway. Painted the stairwell. Painted most of the downstairs living room. Fixed the kitchen sink. Completely remodeled the upstairs bathroom (which is f-ing awesome btw), therefore fixing the leak into the downstairs apartment.
Oh yes, I have plans. And I'm doing things, good things, on my own, no help, sometimes with tears and resentment, sometimes with music and good spirits.
The past two years were booze filled and blurry, angry, abusive, saddening.
And nothing got done.
Things got worse, both in our relationship, and with the house, and there was no fixing either.
But now its just me.
And ya know, it sounds silly in this day and age to be so proud of things that I'm doing, because they're not difficult things.
But I'm a single lady, with very little disposable income, starting to earnestly rehab this house by myself.
And that makes me feel damn good.
I should actually have the apartment downstairs renovated by late Spring, finances depending. And beyond that point, I will rent it out.
And then I will save money. And if Remy has gone to the great backyard in the sky by next March, I will quit the Waterline, and take Arlo and go travel. Maybe live in San Diego for a year, because that is very appealing to me.
And on a less than single minded note:
Arlo loves to play fetch. It is entertaining to watch his little non-legs tear up the living room.