Changing
So I realize that for the past six years I've been on a huge kick to change. Sometimes at the request of others, sometimes because of the unhappiness I am experiencing in my life. For the longest time I was under the impression that I was all talk and I wasn't changing... but then I think of how different I am. I realized recently that I hold on to the past way too much and it is affecting my present and future in a negative manner. Brandon hurt me in a deep deep horrible way!! I've been holding a lot of what he did against Joe and almost managed to fuck my relationship up... BAD!! It scared me, it sucked ass. I admitted my faults, he admitted that he hasn't been a great boyfriend lately and we talked about our issues. At the end of the night I was sleeping peacefully in his arms, with a huge smile on my face. I adore this boy... I like him something tough!!! :)
I'm doing my best to be a good person and be happy and it sucks. It's hard to do sometimes because I get discouraged and give up. However I know what I want... and I'm confident in a new way. I just need to hold on to this and keep reminding myself what I'm working towards.
I'm hoping that I'll be able to graduate and get into my career with great success as well as keep my relationship strong.
It's rough and it'll take time but I have an optimistic view :)
I'm doing my best to be a good person and be happy and it sucks. It's hard to do sometimes because I get discouraged and give up. However I know what I want... and I'm confident in a new way. I just need to hold on to this and keep reminding myself what I'm working towards.
I'm hoping that I'll be able to graduate and get into my career with great success as well as keep my relationship strong.
It's rough and it'll take time but I have an optimistic view :)