(no subject)
I got a new phone. I had to copy all the numbers manually because, I don't know, sprint hates me. There were a few outdated ones I ditched, wrong numbers, people from freecycle, people I went out with once and never want to see again, that kind of thing.
But I just couldn't not copy his number. It even snuck up on me. I somehow had no idea it was coming - Dugan, Five, Fran - and then there he was. Sat there staring at my stupid phone, trying to tell myself "It's time," trying to tell myself, "You're never calling the wrong numbers or the people from freecycle or the bad dates again, and you're never going to call him again. You don't need his number." But I just couldn't, I literally, physically, emotionally was not capable of not keeping it. It's so stupid. It's a stupid fucking phone number, and keeping it just means that any time I have to scroll through my contacts if I make it to f I'm going to be faced with it again, and there I'll be having this stupid fucking moment with my phone when I'm just trying to call my fucking boss, but I just. fucking. can't.
It's been almost a year. October. It's September now, so I think that's what I'm supposed to say. "Almost a year." But it feels like it was yesterday, and I wasn't about to delete his number on October 18, and I can't do it now.
But I just couldn't not copy his number. It even snuck up on me. I somehow had no idea it was coming - Dugan, Five, Fran - and then there he was. Sat there staring at my stupid phone, trying to tell myself "It's time," trying to tell myself, "You're never calling the wrong numbers or the people from freecycle or the bad dates again, and you're never going to call him again. You don't need his number." But I just couldn't, I literally, physically, emotionally was not capable of not keeping it. It's so stupid. It's a stupid fucking phone number, and keeping it just means that any time I have to scroll through my contacts if I make it to f I'm going to be faced with it again, and there I'll be having this stupid fucking moment with my phone when I'm just trying to call my fucking boss, but I just. fucking. can't.
It's been almost a year. October. It's September now, so I think that's what I'm supposed to say. "Almost a year." But it feels like it was yesterday, and I wasn't about to delete his number on October 18, and I can't do it now.