And when I see you, I really see you upside down, but my brain knows better
Well, Frankles is here, and he seems to always come at the times when I most need a brother. But the topic of this entry, is not the little brother and family ties or what not. I woke up at 8 this morning thinking about honesty. Actually, I went to bed thinking about it. We are all liars, really. Words, as I have learned, can so easily be weaved and twisted so that one is not actually lying, but the truth is nowhere near the surface. My personal favorite: "I won't do anything to hurt you." Key word here is "to" because when you get screwed over, the boy can simply say "I didn't do 'x' TO hurt you. See, I wasn't lying when I made those promises, silly girl." I am actually not as jaded and bitter as this may portray. I am just one of those naive girls that doesn't understand the value of lying. The truth will inevitably come out..possibly not implicitly, but that is what intuitions are for.
Are people ever really honest with themselves? Maybe, that's where all this masquerading comes from. I think that is what hurts so much. Ok, maybe hurt isn't the right way to describe it; it's just a general saddening. That damn maternal instinct or what not...*sigh* We all need something solid to grasp on to, and how can we do that if we are all twisting words and acting?
so it's not all too bad..I have some truly amazing friends and guitar night tonight will be a good time, especially since I have been harassing my brother's friend to play "Wonderwall." There are so many priceless moments in life, like last night, dancing around like a maniac with Che, Patty, and Steen to TBS and screaming on the top of lungs...so off key: perfection. So I am doing my little part to be honest with myself and realize that I have an amazing life with so much. I am going to try my darnest to not become jaded, bitter, or, the most painful of all, self-righteous. I don't want to be known as the bitter, angry American girl next semester, and besides, I believe, that further fortifying this unsightly wall of mine will only cause me to miss out on some, hopefully, amazing friendships. I'll let you in and with a smile; just promise you will be honest with yourself.
"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards." ~Soren Kierkegaard
Are people ever really honest with themselves? Maybe, that's where all this masquerading comes from. I think that is what hurts so much. Ok, maybe hurt isn't the right way to describe it; it's just a general saddening. That damn maternal instinct or what not...*sigh* We all need something solid to grasp on to, and how can we do that if we are all twisting words and acting?
so it's not all too bad..I have some truly amazing friends and guitar night tonight will be a good time, especially since I have been harassing my brother's friend to play "Wonderwall." There are so many priceless moments in life, like last night, dancing around like a maniac with Che, Patty, and Steen to TBS and screaming on the top of lungs...so off key: perfection. So I am doing my little part to be honest with myself and realize that I have an amazing life with so much. I am going to try my darnest to not become jaded, bitter, or, the most painful of all, self-righteous. I don't want to be known as the bitter, angry American girl next semester, and besides, I believe, that further fortifying this unsightly wall of mine will only cause me to miss out on some, hopefully, amazing friendships. I'll let you in and with a smile; just promise you will be honest with yourself.
"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards." ~Soren Kierkegaard