"Let's talk about sex, baby..."
Why is it so bad to be a virgin? Why to people always feel the need to pity virgins? Now, I know what you're thinking: "Now, listen dear, since you've never had any, obviously you don't know what you're missing." Yes, I understand that sex is supposedly pretty awesome--we've continued the human race thanks to sex, so it must be working out just fine--but why is it that everyone is expected to jump on that horse as soon as they hit puberty? "What? You're sexually mature* and you're not getting any? LAME." You get to a certain age and all of a sudden you're branded as a freak and people just look at you like you only have five months to live. ("Oh, the poor thing.")
PEOPLE. Sexually mature does NOT equal emotionally mature. Half the kids in high school that were riding the hobby horse were not ready. By any means. I know some kids who started having sex when they were 14. 14! Do you remember what it was like to be 14? At 14, were you ready for that level of intimacy, for all that entails? Hell, no. My God, I don't even think freshmen in college are ready for it. Think about what you worried about in high school, think about how moody you were. Think about all the petty little concerns that you had. Now, add sex.
I don't care what people say--and you can laugh at me all you want--but sex is kind of a big fucking deal. No pun intended. It isn't just about orgasms. Sex is the closet that two people can physically be. To put it bluntly: you're naked, they're naked, everything that you've ever covered up is laid bare for that other person. It means something, or it's supposed to, and for someone so young, it can be confusing. I mean, people in high school get tripped up over the way a person looks at them. Seriously. So not ready.
So, why the need to pity virgins? I was reading someone's blog on men's rights--side note: I think people need to start respecting men just as much as women--and they wrote that being a virgin makes one feel "undesired." Oooookkkkkaaaaayyyy. So, now sexual experience = true love? A lot of people I know how flaunt their sexuality and pity virgins don't happen to be in committed relationships. In fact, most are not dating. Do you know when I feel undesired? When I stop and realize that no man has ever taken a romantic interest me in God knows how long. Not because he doesn't want to have sex with me. I'm not looking for just sex. (Truth be told, if I had wanted sex, I actually could have had some a little over a month ago when a young man from the club wanted to take me home. Yes, he did in fact ask me to go home with him.) It is possible that a person is simply waiting for that right person to come along. That does happen, you know. You don't actually have to sleep with the first person of the opposite sex--or same, whatevs--that makes your heart race. Being physically attracted to someone does not mean that you have to jump into bed with them.
So, I'm a virgin. I'll admit it, and I don't have a problem with it. I don't want you to pity me because I'm fine with it. I'm going to stay this way until I meet that person--whether we're married (God-willing), engaged, or it's the zombie apocalypse and we're caught up in the heat of the moment (but we really are in love; we just think we might die). Because that's what I want. I want to wait for that person, and when I find that person, we're going to wait until we're both ready. Because there are worse things than being a virgin. Like being a Twilight fan.