The Rocks
For the first time in a long time I don't know where to begin. To put it plainly my personal relationships and academic life have been on the rocks lately.
Everyone that I love is so far away, which has never been a problem, but lately the lack of communication has taken its toll. I feel out of control, constricted by my work and lack the motivation to fully commit because I'm so burnt out on living this way. I'm tired of rising above the arrogant attitude carried by my own dept. professors. I just give up and get so angry sometimes I freak myself out.
The past couple of weeks have been taking a tole on my relationship. Between academic, job and class work obligations my boyfriend and I have spent less and less time together. It got to the point where our attitudes toward one another got cold and our disagreements escalated into a shouting match. Last week our destructive behavior finally reached the boiling point. On the way back to his apartment everything exploded, my emotions were so strong I felt pain like an air bubble trapped in my chest. We were drifting apart, not because our feelings changed more like taking eachother for grant it.
That night was a wake up call and because of it we've reconnected in so many ways.
Outside my relationship I still feel disconnected from those around me but I just need to work it out and keep going. I feel a sense of comfort, some how, knowing that I'm not the only one struggling to graduate while reestablishing balance in my personal life.
cheers