i feel really weary being an adult. Demand and expectation are everywhereeeee... till i find myself barely could breath freely and smell the sweet scent of my own life. Sounds dramatic? Yeah, there you go when you are getting older. Haha :D
No, my life isn’t that pathetic. I life with a very supportive parent who always let me choose my own way and always believe in me. I am very thankful to them who let me to own my life fully and don’t claim it as theirs. I have two lil monsters that always annoy me and cheer me at the same time. I have a bunch of close friends, i couldn’t say all of them always right beside me all the time, but i always could have found one of them to rely on when hardship weakened my knee and made me hardly to stand on my own or just to have fun and talk about nonsense for hours :D. I know the super famous word called LOVE, the romantic one, yes, i stand in the skeptical side when deal with the said word but it doesn’t mean my life is loveless, does it? So far, i can afford to get everything i need (not WANT), i am also studying in a good college. Really, i couldn’t ask for more. Alhamdulillah.
So, Why am i still felling weary??
I’ll point out one of the reason.
I demand myself a perfection, i demand myself for no mistake. But, how on earth i could fullfil it? I’m a learner, isn’t it propr for a learner making a mistake as along as she/he strive to fix it? All those over expectation over myself often lead me to no action, no creation, and for me, spent my precious time without achieve anything is horrible! I got nerve wracking horror when i realized how much time i’ve spent for NOTHING. Unfruitful life is curse! That’s why i often find myself annoying as hell! *sigh* it is exhausting! Really Exhausting! *sobs*
True Colors
By Phil Collins
You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness, inside you
Can make you feel so small
But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow
Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy, can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there
And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow. (cr:metrolyrics.com)
*sobs*
I want to release myself.
Live my life, celebrate every breath with full bucket of gratitude.
Let myself fly freely without too much burden.
Praise every achievement even if it just the shallow one.
You are precious ji.No doubt.