FOUR
continued....
i wake up 3 hrs later with no one beside me, i get up, get dressed and head out. work it is. funny i decide. I walk into work and sit on my ass reading the back mag.. very hott.. go to this web www.backmag.com wait till my shift is over and head home.
i should be happy with what i have but yet i want to much, i guess i was meant to live for so much more but never got the chance to. Days go by like there a bowl of nuts at a bar. fuck couldn’t life be a little more exciting for me right now. everyday is fcukign the same and my life is shit compared to what i want it to be.. lol wow.. im fucked. lol
yesterday was a great thing, i was so happy that Christian and i got to share how we felt about each other .. lol but now i cant stop thinking about him and i want to noe how he is.. and if this is really my life and if i really want to be who i am right now. am i ready to wake up next to him everyday for the rest of my life.. am i ready to live with the fact that im gay. or bisexual .. what ever you want to fucking call it.. " is this what i want" ? he means everything to me but this isn’t what i want.. im going to try not to close my eyes and pretend that its not like this.. but it is..
is this who i want to be ?
………… I can go on. DO you want me too ?
i wake up 3 hrs later with no one beside me, i get up, get dressed and head out. work it is. funny i decide. I walk into work and sit on my ass reading the back mag.. very hott.. go to this web www.backmag.com wait till my shift is over and head home.
i should be happy with what i have but yet i want to much, i guess i was meant to live for so much more but never got the chance to. Days go by like there a bowl of nuts at a bar. fuck couldn’t life be a little more exciting for me right now. everyday is fcukign the same and my life is shit compared to what i want it to be.. lol wow.. im fucked. lol
yesterday was a great thing, i was so happy that Christian and i got to share how we felt about each other .. lol but now i cant stop thinking about him and i want to noe how he is.. and if this is really my life and if i really want to be who i am right now. am i ready to wake up next to him everyday for the rest of my life.. am i ready to live with the fact that im gay. or bisexual .. what ever you want to fucking call it.. " is this what i want" ? he means everything to me but this isn’t what i want.. im going to try not to close my eyes and pretend that its not like this.. but it is..
is this who i want to be ?
………… I can go on. DO you want me too ?