(no subject)
so i guess its back to the tough guy routine, cause nice guys get their fucking necks stomped on. never thought it would be so hard to be myself, lol. so i talked to sandy over the internet the other day and it was less than pleasureable. it was very difficult for me after 3 years of commiting my whole self to one person to find out it was a snap for her to move on to another man's bed, to top it off think that its all good we be buddy buddy. so i distanced myself as any rationale person who despies insomnia and random acts of violence would. the conversation was very bland typical things were talked about, but that was the problem. I realized after 3 years of being with this woman we had nothing to talk about, i mean life in general but very rarely did she show an interest in the things that i was involved in. many things she was involved in i either was interested in or tried very hard to be interested in. I am a fan of theatre, i can be moved as much as the next metrosexual guy in cali (hahahah, if you dont get it you dont know me) but what use was it for me to go to community theatre with horrible acting and uninteresting plots? sorry sandy, i enjoyed the roles you played but i was there for as support not cause i enjoyed the plays. n e way, i quickly ended the conversation partly because i was at work and had some mundane thing to attend to and partly because i was quickly becoming uncomfortable with the conversation. Reflecting upon the short convo later i was more than a little blue, and not just around the collar. Why had i put so much time and effort into someone who, despite her words, gave very little attention to me as an individual and spent most of the time together upset or complaining about how i paid so little attention to her. Um hello work/school/sleep = 22 hours out of the day. Either way its been quite a while since i had talk to her last and i believe it will quite some time before it happens again. pity too, her bro is a cool guy would have liked to party with him more. oh well there's always WOW.
On to another topic, dude Anime rocks, so does D&D! I am a dork of full capacity and if dont like it well then you dont, ooooo.
My facination with trying to make other people feel better has come to an end, bam. I grew up thinkin that if i could help at least one person, just one my life would be good. Well i have helped plenty, even kept a highschool friend from ending her life by making her realize the value of life (btw she eventually turned her back on me, ironic eh?). So there i have done my one good deed, plus like all the other. Not saying gonna be a force of mass destruction here, but honestly my well being and mental stabiltiy will rely very little on whether i help that random person (btw to my good friends I will always be there for you, i love you guys and i got your back). so call me selfish, but i call me wise. call me a jerk but i say its pooling my resources.
Ok so long ass post, iraq is treating me fine, pretty much same thing everyday. FUCK, soriano give us a day off!!!! ok peace
On to another topic, dude Anime rocks, so does D&D! I am a dork of full capacity and if dont like it well then you dont, ooooo.
My facination with trying to make other people feel better has come to an end, bam. I grew up thinkin that if i could help at least one person, just one my life would be good. Well i have helped plenty, even kept a highschool friend from ending her life by making her realize the value of life (btw she eventually turned her back on me, ironic eh?). So there i have done my one good deed, plus like all the other. Not saying gonna be a force of mass destruction here, but honestly my well being and mental stabiltiy will rely very little on whether i help that random person (btw to my good friends I will always be there for you, i love you guys and i got your back). so call me selfish, but i call me wise. call me a jerk but i say its pooling my resources.
Ok so long ass post, iraq is treating me fine, pretty much same thing everyday. FUCK, soriano give us a day off!!!! ok peace